DeBeers commercials-- for making me feel two inches tall, just because i do not have a man to but me jewelry! Go fuck yourselves with rusty chainsaws lubricated with birdshit.
The wedding industry, Diva brides, matching everything,where will the craziness end
Playtex Deodorant Tampons-- Oy Vey, where to begin!!The Gentle fragrance that is suffocating, once you open the package? The weirdness about the periods? Like i should be ashamed of menstruating or something? Or the fact that if you uses a tmpon properly, you ought not to have any odor?
10-10-59-321-555-811-7896-56324- I am not going to break my fingers to save a dime on a phone call! Eva Savelots and Carrot Top can go; just go away; swallow the .357; and end it all!
Neutrogena commercials featuring Jeniffer Love Hewitt. Honey you are giving me a migraine! Go away and shut the fuck up, twit!
Nair, and that waxing shit, ugh, make me barf!
Molly Sims for Old Navy; Drop off the face of the Earth, already, would, you please, you soulless dizzy blond crackbaby!
You remind me of a very portable cloud of smog!
The Best Buy (I think) ad that shows a guy walking through a hardware store while the narrator asks if you’re the kind of person who has to try things out before you buy them. Then the guy drops his pants and sits on a display toilet in the middle of the store.
Also the Rolling Rock ad that is supposedly a documentary observing men in their “native habitat”, the pizza joint. There are four guys who are delivered a pizza and each takes a slice. They all take a bite simutaneously and then realize the pizza is too hot. They all then make a disgusting sucking sound as they try to cool their mouths off. That sound makes me want to puke.
Commercials for pregnancy tests get my goat quicker that almost anything i can think of. This dizzy bitch is saying, “I can’t concentrate, Could I be Pregnant??” This is enogh to get me to scream at the TV.
Wendy’s Commercials are working my last nerve lately, especially the one where Al is in tears, because he finished his fucking stupid chicken nuggets, like a good little crackbaby. I hate Al!! Al must die!
Chupacabra, I can take the Rolling Rock commercial set in the pizza joint. It’s the one at the wedding reception that gets to me, especially now that we’re getting to the season where I’ll be listening to the radio on a Saturday morning and hear some fellow call in to say that he’s getting married and his life is over. I swear, if a fellow ever tries that with me, I will find him and tell him he’s gotten a reprieve.
To get back on topic, there’s a commercial for some sort of tooth-whitening system where a mother is talking about looking at her young daughter’s beautiful smile and realizing [dramatic pause]
that her own teeth are no longer white and perfect! Talk about shallow and self-absorbed!
When my friends and I saw that one for the first time last summer, we were definitely very horrified! The look of that towel or whatever after it’s been used for depilatory purposes… YUCK! Luckily, I haven’t seen it many times (if ever) since… disgusting!
The only commercial I’ve seen recently that enraged me was one for some sort of webcam. This lady is giving birth and some guy is there taping it (not holding her hand or anything, just filming). Then he drops the CD or whatever off with some doofus sitting in the cafeteria who proceeds to make a freakin PowerPoint presentation or whatever of the birth and the events leading up to it (it wasn’t x-rated so git yer dam minds outta the gutter!). Anyway, the commercial was only mildy annoying up to this point, but then the guy goes in to his wife and new kid and shows it what daddy has done. In one picture, he shows his wife, who is in labor remember, driving to the hospital because he was too nervous. WTF?!?!?!?!?!? You’re going to force your wife to drive because you’re nervous?! What kind of useless human being is this guy? I mean, I can accept (barely) that he didn’t want to be in the same room as his wife gave birth; the fact that some other guy is in there filming your wife’s privates is a little strange too but whatever, may be they’re really close friends or something. But how freakin hard is it to drive a car? Why would anyone buy anything this useless excuse for protoplasm advertised? It made absolutely no sense to me…
Oh yes, I also hate the commercial where the two women are playing golf, and the song cuts to this really stupid “Gotta go gotta go gotta go right now” beat. It makes me think “KILLLLLLL”
Oh, I gotta add that commercial they inflicted upon me after tonights wretched episode of the Simpsons, where the kid’s stand in front of the store gargling milk and Hershey’s syrup. Yeah, don’t think I’ll be buying any of their shit any time soon.
That one almost scares me. And his wife has the same idiot smile on her face, too.
So what’s the message, here? If you take our herbal supplement, your sex life will be so great you’ll look like you had about 5 too many face lifts for the rest of your life?
That Burger King ad with the obnoxious cheerleaders really pisses my off. When I hear those shrill, perky freaks scream, “we’re tasty! we’re tasty!” I am not enticed to go and eat a burger; I do however, feel an uncontrollable urge to strangle someone.
Am I the only one whose teeth grind every time some commercial’s theme music is some “fake” foreign language? Drives me nuts! I blame Cirque de Soleil.
Here’s the trend I’m tired of. Wacky Buddhist monks. In fact, I’m kind of tired of Buddhist monks in general. I like Buddhism. I’m very interested in Buddhism. I like to see it given a fair shake in the media.
However, I’m tired of “Look! Our technology is so great, even Buddhist Monks are using it!” or “Look, we deliver anywhere, even to Buddhist Monks!” or “Look, you thought these Buddhist Monks were being all solemn and thoughtful, but they’re really picking our new candy color/watching a basketball game/playing nintendo!!! How zany is that!!?”
I guess nuns, who previously held this role, went out of fashion.
The current set of JC Penney’s ads where a bunch of men let their children run wild - while they’re standing around inside the house like idiots asking “where is your mother?” And then the end of the commercial tells them to relax, the sale is only one day, after which they will never again be responsible for raising their children, as that’s women’s work. (When the women aren’t out shopping - 'cause that’s what women do, raise babies and shop.)
amarinth, I was just going to post about JC Penney too, but you beat me to it! I HATE those ads, they are SO fucking sexist! Yes, men have no ability to parent their children and they need to wait for their wife to get home so that she can take care of them! Get a life, JC Penney!
I also despise the Dell idiot. Every time he comes on, I say “Steve needs to go into rehab, dude!”
Carrot Top freaks me out. The commercial where he’s walking the dogs, and when they pull him forward and the camera does a closeup of his face…SCAREY!! He looks plastic!
And the balding guy in the 10-10-220 crapmercials- I think he was a professional athlete before- he is SO annoying, he and Alf need to be blasted into outer space!
In one shot, one of the women squats in front of the camera, presumably to line up her putt, and this pose makes the other one want to pee even more. How wonderfully tasteless!
When my wife has to pee really badly and she’s dashing madly for the bathroom (and if we’re at home) I sing the “gotta go right now” song to bother her. Am I awful or what?
Well, I can’t remember any specifically right now. I’ve heard it on car commercials and credit card commercials and I think one for Ireland or something. It’s this “yada yada la la” singing with no words which sounds like maybe it’s a foreign language but I don’t think it is. It’s just kind of a melodic sound-making. I don’t know why it bugs me so badly.
Cirque de Soleil in some of their performances has a lady singing the same “yada lada lala” no-words song. I heard on the radio that Paul McCartney and another ex-beatle were interested in writing some music for the Cirque and they asked the singing lady what language she was singing in. She replied that it wasn’t a language, it was just made up, and was supposed to appeal to an array of different-language-speaking people.
Am I awful or what?