TV & Movie Characters Who HAD to Have Been Gay, but Weren't

The list is limited to characters who were never openly gay and were even seen with hetero dates/mates, but there’s no way they could have been straight:
Felix Unger (THE ODD COUPLE)- it’s not the compulsive neatness (in fact I’ve never known a compulsively neat gay guy) or the opera or the general prissiness… well, alright, it’s all that and more. (OTOH, if you had to pick “which one’s the Mo?” in any Doris Day/Rock Hudson/Tony Randall movie, you’d probably pick the one who gained his greatest latter-day fame for successfully shagging a lady 1/3 his age.)

Charles Emerson Winchester (MASH)- I know there was an episode where he has a failed Pygmalion love affair with a Korean hooker, but I’m guessing there isn’t a rent boy in Boston who doesn’t know how he likes his eggs.

Uncle Arthur (BEWITCHED)- played by Paul Lynde… puh-leez.

Miss Jane (BEVERLY HILLBILLIES)- I don’t think she was even fooling herself with the “lust” for Jethro (who was a generation too young for her anyway).

Grady (Sanford & Son)- didn’t he seem just a little too eager to dance with Fred during “Wham!” and sashay just a tad?

Who would you add?

Frasier & Niles Crane. Especially Niles.

Any character played by Charles Nelson Reilly.

“Hnn-nnn-nn-Nnnng!”

The Brit neighbor from “The Jeffersons.”

Maude.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer and Herbie the Elf. Heck, the entire special was a veiled appeal for gay tolerence.

Dr. Smith. The show’s writers actively did everything they could to out him without actually broaching a forbidden (at the time) subject

Similarly, the TV version of Batman and Robin (not the comic versions mind you).

Pat.

Saturday Night Live made fun of this once (or possibly twice), with a sketch starring Dana Carvey as Lyle Billup, The Effeminate Heterosexual. Lyle walked like a girl, threw like a girl, etc. and had the full-on lispy accent, but he was straight and suitably horrified when members of his own family jumped to the wrong conclusion and hired a male stripper to appear at his birthday party.

The Cowardly Lion. :smiley:

Balki from Perfect Strangers.

According to the Internet, Chandler.

Starbuck from the new Battlestar: Galactica mini-series. Pretty butch for a straight girl.

I recall this lesbian who went through boyfriends during high school like Starbuck seems to. Its only a matter of time before she starts putting pride stickers on her Viper bumper. Besides, we all know its really a Volvo anyway :smiley:

And she has Birkenstocks in the closet.

He-Man.

The only reason I never thought of this as a child was because I had no idea of homosexuality. But the blatant homoeroticism of this animated feature was everywhere!

You know he and Skeletor were going at it behind the scenes.

And MAN AT ARMS? Oh yeah, he was gay. Teela was “adopted”, remember?

Batman and Robin

Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s two “aunts” she lived with.

Marc

Wayne Newton…
Especially when he sang, “Red roses for a Blue Lady”

He then overreacted to change his image in AdultHood…
Took Karate, lowered his sissy voice

Not a Newton Fan!

I gotta go with Guinastasia. Maybe He-Man and Skeletor weren’t doin’ it, but I’ll bet you anything Skeletor and Beast-Man were pretty heavy into the rough trade…

Xena and Gabrielle were most likely bi.

Mr Ed. Still closeted in the stable.

Even worse for Mr. Ed…he was a bestialist! Why do you think Wilbur always looked so worried? He was afraid they’d get caught!

Trinity, from The Matrix.