I was asked to speak to a group of college journalists today about editing a small town newspaper and I think my age came into play at what I experienced, which may have been sexist on my part. I’m not sure.
Observation one. Many young women don’t know how to sit in skirts and dresses anymore. I talked to the young people, both men and women and a good portion of the women had either skirts or dresses on (my host said it was a special salute to the volleyball team). The problem for me was they sat in seats in the lecture hall with knees wide apart or with an ankle over the opposite knee thus making it so I was looking up many of those skirts or dresses. I was somewhat unsettled.
Obserbation two. Girls cracking their knuckles is neither professional nor attractive. Not one but two of the women whom I spoke to at the college sat and cracked their knuckles while I spoke to them (one during my presentation and the other at the reception afterwards). I was surprised. I am obviously from a generation where women don’t crack their knuckles in public (or much in private if memory is any guide) and I was uncomfortable with it. I asked myself later if I were being sexist, and I wasn’t sure of my response. I felt that if a man sat there cracking his knuckles, I would disregard him out of hand, but with a woman, I hold her naturally in higher regard so I am more surprised when she acts in a way that I consider unprofessional.
So am I a sexist pig? A hopeless old fogey? Too picky or what?
On your first point: Not sexist. People who wear skirts should sit in ways that do not force others to look up said skirts.
On your second point: Sexist. If a man can crack his knuckles and you won’t care, why can’t a woman? It’s not like she’s cracking her vagina or something.
Jenny crack knuckles
'n I don’t care,
Jenny crack knuckles
'n I don’t care… OK, sorry… um, what racinchikkisaid. You did not say that the guys would fare proportionately better at proper skirt-sitting. If you’re guilty of anything on that one, it’s ageism. [referencia obscura] (Go away Ben…) [/referencia]
The knuckle cracking thing, though, definitely makes you out to be a knuckle dragger.
When I was in college one of my professors used to tell a story about one of his old teachers, a Jesuit priest. One day one of his female students sitting in the front row was wearing a fairly short skirt (for those days) in what he called “an inappropriate manner.” The priest told the young woman to cross her legs properly, then resumed his lecture with the words, “Now that the Gates of Hell have been closed…”
Not that I’ve ever thought of any portion of a woman’s anatomy as the Gates of Hell…rather the opposite, in fact…
I’m sorry I may not have expressed myself well. When I said I would disregard a man who cracked his knuckles out of hand, I didn’t mean it would not offend me. I meant I half expect unclassy actions from a “certain class” of men (bad way of putting it, but I can’t think of a better way of putting it) and one of the halmarks of that type of person is burping and cracking knuckles and the like when it shouldn’t be done. It would definitely offend me in a professional situation if a man did it, it just surprised and saddened me that a woman did it.
I will accept my badge as a sexist (and agist aparently) but I wanted to make it clear that I am not crazy about it when a male cracks his knuckles when I am speaking any more than when a woman does it.
I worked very hard at not noticing. I look between desks, I look directly at individual faces and I took my glasses off often and used them as a prop in my speaking (thus making it close to impossible to see much past the first row).
TV time, with regard to cracking knuckles, if you object when men do it too, you’re probably not a sexist.
When it comes to men and skirts, though, I’m going to have to disagree. I’m in the SCA. A few years ago, at an event which featured quite a bit of dancing, one of the people there was a rather nice looking gentleman whose persona was a Scot and who regularly wore a kilt. During the dancing, he was sitting on one side of the room, quite nonchalantly, with his knees rather far apart. On the other side of the room, several of us ladies were admiring the view until I finally had mercy on the lad and at the first opportunity, asked him to dance. During the dance, I thanked him for the view, but added his good lady might not approve (she was out of the room while this was happening). He had no idea how he looked. Sorry, folks, I’m afraid I was too modest to have that good a look, so I can’t tell you if he was wearing his kilt in legendary true Scots fashion.
When I was an undergrad, one of my professors had a poster on her office wall: “True equality between the sexes is not when a female genius can do as well as a male genius, but rather when a female schlemiel can get by as easily as a male schlemiel”
Anyone who wears a skirt - or a kilt - has a personal responsibility not to “treat” the world at large to a view they may or may not want. I’m careful not to cross my legs while sitting, and try to ensure that any view between the knees is suitably blocked by material and sporran.
That being said, I’ve been the beneficiary of some rather stunning vistas presented by young ladies who weren’t paying attention to how they were sitting (and seeking ahem natural air conditioning as well in some cases). It happened more often while I was in college than it does in my life now…
I’ve also been presented with unfortunate knowledge of other men in kilts who weren’t smart enough to realize that you have to think before sitting (or leaping up into a pickup truck bed, or various other activities) when you don’t have pants legs to hide behind. Rest assured that any sons I am blessed with will know how to properly sit in a skirt.
Hey, it’s different when you know the “beneficiary” of your carelessness will appreciate the view…but there should be some consideration for the public at large…
I went to a Ren fair a couple years ago that had a Hypnotist doing his thing. He had about 10 people on stage and during his act he told the people on the stage that they were on Mars and it was really hot. One of the women on the stage then started to use her skirt as a fan. She wasn’t wearing anything under the skirt and had her legs spread wide. It wasn’t a pretty view as the woman appeared to be a 50’ish hippie type who didn’t shave her legs. It wasn’t a pretty sight.
[/Total Hijack]
The cracking knuckles thing is just wrong, it doesn’t matter if it is a girl or a guy.
I know I don’t sit right in a skirt, but since all mine are ankle length it doesn’t matter. Would take some pretty impressive sitting to flash people in those.
Personally, I don’t think they were sitting that way by accident. Remember that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark? They were overwhelmed by TVTime’s rugged manliness.
So your judgment of someone’s professionalism is based on his or her gender? It’s nice that you chose a non-traditional route for this, but sexist anyway.
I agree with pretty much what others have said. The skirt thing: not sexist. More of an ewwww moment. I’ve noticed this since I’ve been back in school, and there are just things that I don’t want to be seeing.
The knuckles - well, it’s rude to have someone do it while you’re talking to them, whether they’re male or female. To think it’s worse or more unattractive because the crackers happened to be female, yeah it’s sexist, but I don’t think you deserve to be flogged for it.
