Imagine a fantastical scenario where you and your partner desire two children. Resources, health, time, etc. aren’t an issue. In this scenario would you prefer if you had both children at the same time (twins) or a year apart from each other?
A year apart.
(Actually, I would prefer to space them two years apart.)
I worked with a guy who had twins as their first children. His life was hard for a while (I’ll just leave it there), but he didn’t know parenthood any other way. Another person I know had a single child and then twins later - usually the 2nd child is easier, but the twins were much harder than the single first kid.
I vote for a year or more apart.
So, Irish Twins?
Newborns require a lot more work and interrupted sleep than 12 month olds. Definitely a year apart.
My Son has 2 older girls, a set of twin boys.
He claims doing this on a bulk level was way easier.
He’s very hands on Dad.
I don’t believe his wife would say twins were easier from the pregnancy POV.
But they have carried it off pretty well, as I’ve watched, over the years.
(Disclaimer: no kid was ever as hard as their middle child, she was/is always the issue in any activity. Any)
My wife, who had a lot of experience with babies and young children, insisted that she wouldnt have a second chiled until the first was out of nappies (diapers).
Adopt them!
You are helping kids who would otherwise be in care (and avoiding the sleepless nights of new borns…)
That’s a big consideration. My kids are 20 months apart. Thankfully my eldest was ready to be trained when the other was born.
I had one, then twins for the 2nd/3rd kid. If you were gonna have 2 more after the first having them at the same time is easier. It does mean at least at young ages you do everything in bulk/together. You make two bottles at once, you put them for naps together, you schedule doctors appointments back-to-back. They sleep at the same time, get a bath at the same time, eat at the same time. Its definitely not 2x the work like having two one year a part might be.
One year apart isn’t really twice the work either. My kids were 13 months apart- and I didn’t rush getting off the bottle and toilet training etc with the oldest. So basically I went an extra three or six or whatever months, all at once. I didn’t plan to have them that close , but in retrospect, I think it was better than getting rid of diapers for two or three years and then going back.
My boys were 15 months apart. It wasn’t bad except when baby 1 figured out baby 2 wasn’t just some passing fad that would disappear. He didn’t speak yet (this child spoke late but spoke in full sentences a few days or so after his first word other than mama dada). Anyway I was home with the two of them all was find, then I started nursing the youngest, and number one got upset and crying uncontrollably trying to pull the baby out of my lap. I called my mil and he calmed while she talked to him on the phone, but went right back into crisis mode when we hung up. Y’all I called my mother. I never did that. She tried to come, but missed the house, it was night she didn’t see well at night. Then thankfully hubster came home from work early and managed to calm number one down. I’ve never had twins, but it would have avoided that issue. By the by my first son was and easy and easy going baby/kid. This incident was completely unlike him.
As it turned out, there’s a four-year gap between our two. That worked out well because by the time the baby started toddling, her brother was starting school.