The Hypocrisy: Today is election day and I am not voting because I forgot to register. I am a terrible procrastinator and I simply put it off once too often. I lived in Florida for a time and decided to come back to California last summer. In all that time, I could have re-registered, but I did not. I should have done so, but I didn’t. There are many propositions on the California ballot that are important to me and because of my procrastination, my voice will not be heard.
Lying: This is a little harder to admit. In my profile, I said that I am retired. This is a lie. Actually, I am disabled with severe, chronic depression. Most people don’t believe this is an illness like cancer or diabetes or some other physical illness, but it is. Most people think the mentally ill are just faking it to get out of working. I get this attitude a lot so I conclude that it is a popular belief in spite of its inaccuracy. Knowing this and knowing people would wonder why I had so much free time, I decided to say that I am retired.
This has backfired. At the shindig, Arnold Winklereid wondered how someone as young as I (42) could be retired. This weekend, pricciar sent me an email about some other topic and then jokingly suggested I write a book telling everyone how they, too, can retire at such a young age.
It’s easy. Just try to commit suicide several times (and live) and have a doctor diagnose you as severely depressed and get Social Security and SSI to support you. You also have to be willing to live on less than $800 per month. Then try to find an affordable place to live in a large city with public transportation since you can now no longer legally drive a car due to the medications you must now take every day. (I can fall asleep at a moment’s notice.)
I have a noticed a strong skepticism from some posters on this board concerning mental illness. They were the persons I feared. But I notice far more posters who understand that it’s a true illness and a few others who have problems similar to my own.
I should have trusted you and ignored the rest. I should not have lied.
Jab, I would not characterize your claim that you are retired as a “lie.”
It’s simply to avoid a topic most people are ignorant about. Hell, I’m one of them, although I know enough to realize that it is a debilitating, horrendous disease
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are a highly regarded, valuable poster.
As for failing to register: You and 50 million others. 'Nuff said.
I don’t think you lied, Jab. I’d say you are retired, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you are, unless you wish to volunteer it.
As for your voter registration, I’m amazed the State of California doesn’t still show you on the electoral rolls. My brother left the State in the early eighties and he still gets mail from the Calif. Board of Elections notifying him that he is registered to vote in Orange Co.
Yeah, jab. Try to make it over to your old precinct. They probably still have you registered. I haven’t lived in Huntington Beach for about 3 years but I still go there to vote 'cause I’m too lazy to fill out a new form (I also have the distinction of being one of the few dems in the precinct).
BTW - Many retired people are in the same boat you are. They retired because a disability (usually old age) makes it impossible for them to work any longer.
Well jab I’d say that probably every single person on this board at one time or another has something that they haven’t been 100 percent honest about, for their own reasons (myself included), and not knowing the truth hasn’t hurt the rest of us at all. Being retired in my book means that you no longer work in the public workforce, age has nothing to do with it. So actually you didn’t lie at all.
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Well, jab, now that you have let the cat out of the bag, I can no longer respect you as a young retiree. I mean 42, geez! Talk about a geezer. I thought you were a robust Benny-like 39 at the most!
Now, I am stuck respecting you as a intelligent poster, Darwin Fish maker, overcomer of odds, and one who knows the “secret”.
Honestly, I can also respect the troubles with depression you have. I am sorry if my email caused you any remorse, and I apoligize if I stuck my nose were it didn’t belong. I do know the pain that depression can bring, and I feel that it is worse than a physical illness because too many people question your pain, since they can’t sign the cast, or see the scars.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope I didn’t cause too much pain for you. I also look forward to seeing you at the Shindig part 2! (Maybe this time we can be at the same end of the table. :))
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I also am not currently registered to vote. I got married last September and moved to a suburb of Chicago. I kept putting it off, and so now, for the first time since I’ve been of age, I will not be voting in the primary. I vow to be ready for November. I take my right to vote very seriously.
Secondly…please don’t be ashamed for what is, IMHO, a white lie considering the situation. I discovered a few years ago, after much frustration and confusion, that I have seasonal depression. I can understand a little bit how difficult it is to explain to people who just think it’s “all in your head.” I’m not trying to compare with you, as I am sure that what I have gone through is a drop in the bucket compared to what you must deal with every day. Oh, jeez…I meant for this to help make you feel better…
Anyway, just know that I’m sure we all understand why you did what you did. And if you need anything…you know where to find me
Jab -
You probably feel better for having explained your situation, but there’s no need to feel bad or dwell on it. You’ve been around the board long enough to know that there’s a bunch of us with similar problems - most of us to a much lesser degree than you, but enough to know the difficulties of having to deal with such things.
You must know from the responses you’ve received over time that the folks here respect you. From the posts above mine in this thread, it is clear that your “confession” hasn’t changed that.
There’s a great bunch of people here - you included.
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Jab1, you are neither a liar nor a hypocrite. Forgetting to register to vote is a far cry from never even intending to. And yeah, check out your old precinct. If you voted in any elections in the near past, e.g. general elections, school board, etc. then you’re still registered.
And you didn’t lie. Everyone has the right to reasonable discretion about their personal lives. Kiddo, anyone with fine enough conscience to post this sure isn’t a hardened liar! None of us owes details or justifications from our private lives. We share a lot here, but you were never under any obligation to defend how you live.
You had no malicious intent to deceive; you were just keeping a private thing private.
Best of luck to you, Jab. Anyone cruel or arrogant enough to pass judgment on you will just damn himself (or herself), not you.
I can relate. I went thru a real bout with depression in the early 90’s. It went on for nearly a year before I even knew what was going on. I finally saw a psychiatrist who prescibed something called ‘zoloft’. For me, it was the drug from hell. Hot and cold pins and needle sensations, no sleep for days, visual and auditory hallucinations. The cure was almost worse than the disease. I couldn’t take it on account of the side effects. The shrink fired me (wouldn’t treat me unless I took the drug). Now, I happened to have a friend who had gone through some severe depression a couple years before. Her father had passed away about the same time she nearly died thru a doctors malpractice. (This is a depressing story). Anyway, she knew a homeopathic/holistic physician in Cambria who had given her something called DLPA (D-Phenylalanine and L-Phenylalanine). It is an amino acid you can get at the health food store. My experience with DLPA and Cognitive Therapy for Depression was, that within 2 months I was well on my way back to reality. (Although some on this board would say that I have not yet fully arrived.)
jab1, I hardly know you. But you are one of the most honest people I have met in my few short years. One of my best friends told a lie in school and the whole thing backfired on her. It had to do with a guy she really liked. She is my best friend and in the end the lie she told really hurt her bad. I was hard on rainbowuser about his depression and I still feel the same way about such things. But I know some people have problems and I shouldn’t be so quick to judge others. I don’t know anything about depression. I am a popular cheerleader at my high school with a good grade average and a loving family. I feel bad that you are having a rough time. I don’t know if this helps, but I think you must be pretty special to tell the truth like you did. Wow. Sandy
jab1, as others have pointed out–if you no longer work (for whatever reasons) you are retired!
As for anyone flaming or judging you for being strong enough to tell us the reason you are retired, I hereby submit that anyone that picks on you gets me to deal with (and several others, I imagine)! Just because I haven’t flamed before doesn’t mean I can’t!
I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.
Gosh, guys. I don’t know what to say except, thanks. And considering some of the exchanges I’ve had with Boomer and Sandycane, I’m especially touched by your responses. I’m beginning to doubt that Sandycane is really John John, after all.
