I find that when we move through life, being all hypocritical, it does us well not to be judgy. If we find ourselves being all judgy, knowing that we are hypocrites, we may start trying to justify it by pretending we have a good reason for our judginess.
I think you are pretending to be concerned about others health as an excuse for your judginess.
But hey, it’s cool. I’m a hypocrite in many ways, on many days, although it is the character trait that I battle the hardest in myself. I try not to be judgy though.
The point is that I find it strange that people are prepared to do themselves physical harm for something that is in no small part a matter of presentation towards others. Where I pursue medically reckless behavior, it’s generally something I do for personal enjoyment, not due, to some extent, to what other people will think of me. All manner of physically harmful clothes have been worn in history, preferentially by women (though not necessarily through choice). High heels are just another example. I wouldn’t choose them. I think women who do are odd, but I’m not judging them morally. I just think that it’s weird to value the opinions of others, regarding appearance, above your own physical well-being.
I am concerned about the health of others. This is my transparent reason for finding it unusual.
I wear heels regularly. I only wear shoes that are comfortable for me and yes, I walk in them more than just from the car to the office. I admit that I love when someone else points out that they like my shoes, but that is because I like my shoes. Just like I like my jewelry, my clothing etc. Ooh Shiny!
There is a confidence that I project more when in heels then in my sneakers, or flip flops. Part of it is just how I carry myself. Heels force me to better my posture, I lengthen my stride, I am less likely to drag my feet. So I do feel more confident and yes, more sexy in heels.
As to short skirts, bring them on! I don’t sit like I’m contorted, and at 5’9+ often “regular length” skirts are on the short side for me. I feel like I can pull it off, and if you don’t agree that is fine too. I’m not asking you to wear them. I enjoy doing so. I enjoy looking feminine and I wear make-up and jewelry too. I’m sure that is only done for everyone else in the world, but oh well. I guess I’m shallow that way.
Actually, you are also shortening the achillies tendon … my mom cant walk comfortably barefoot for any amount of time, anything under one inch of heel bothers her now. Of course she is 86 years old and had spent pretty much her entire life since the age of 18 in heels … there is also hammertoe and nerve damage to the nerve that is in the ball of your foot even if you use gelpads.
My tendons are fine, I don’t suffer hammertoe, and the balls of my feet don’t have so much as a callus. Should any of that change, I’m sure I’ll adjust my footwear accordingly, because I’m not really into suffering.
I do plenty of things every day that endanger my health in one way or another. I also do plenty of things that enhance it. I’m wearing sneakers at the moment, because I just got in from a run. If I ruined my feet running, no one would feel the need to tell me how silly I am, even though I work out for vanity’s sake just as much as I wear high heels for vanity’s sake, that is, they both make me feel good, and that makes me feel pretty.
Overestimating? Don’t you mean the opposite? If you mean what you’ve written then women wear things principally for other people. And that would make less sense in terms of physically harming yourself, if it’s purely for other people’s reaction to you.
As for getting over myself, I’m sorry if I’ve stuck a nerve somehow. I’m simply trying to explain that self-harm for the purposes of fashion is to my mind unusual and not something I’d choose to do. I don’t have a personal vendetta against high heels. I find some of them are attractive and stylish, as objects in themselves, but they are not something I would wear, end of.
I did, sorry, I went over that sentence a few times and got it the wrong way round.
What I’m saying is, you seem to be hung up on the idea that the only reason anyone would wear high heels is to impress other people. That’s not true. Well-made, comfortable heels are no more harmful than flats, and your continuing to insist that all heels are inherently self-harm is more than a little patronizing.
I’m sure it’s not the only reason why people wear them. Like I’ve said they can be attractive pieces of design in and of themselves. But how well made they are is irrelevant in terms of the malformation of the foot which they impose necessarily, by virtue of their shape. It’s true that some do less damage than others, and that shorter length heels do less harm, but claiming that podiatric science is patronising is a little nonsensical.
Well Nzinga, Seated did say she understood my position, that I find it discomforting that people harm themselves for the purposes of fashion. Is your problem with this from a position of logic, or a fault you find with me personally? From your subtext, and maybe I’m misunderstanding, but it seems to be the latter, in which case feel free to pit me.
If you ruin your feet running, I’ll feel the need to tell you how silly you are.
The only shoe style I’ve seen that has been shown to maybe be good for you feet and posture are the “negative heel” type. I doubt that the pelvis forward stance forced by heels is good posture.
Personally, I could take or leave high heels. But I have a friend who would definitely still wear her heels come the apocalypse and if she were the last person on earth.
And if I were the last person on earth, I’d doll myself up too. Ugh. Meeting the end of the species in the most drab manner possible seems pointless. My vice is particularly red lipstick. Don’t matter if there’s no one to see, I’d still go for it!
I’d probably eschew the heels but I’d still wear make up even if I were the only woman on earth. Sometimes I’ll still put it on when I’m alone just to experiment or try out new styles. It’s fun, and I enjoy it, like Idlewild. My vice isn’t so much the red lipstick but the heavy eyeliner.
Call me crazy, but I’d rather have adventures than attract a man who has had adventures. I’d rather have a fulfilling career than attract a man who has a fulfilling career. Getting stuff done does not equal manliness!
Yeah, it does feel powerful to be sexy. But I can be sexy without doing things that hurt me. And if anyone has the balls to tell me I’d be sexier if I was hurting, screw 'em.
The reason why heels (along with other “feminine” status symbols like long hair, fussy jewelry long nails, etc.) are “sexy” is because they make women incompetent, allowing men to feel more powerful and to show off that their wife doesn’t have to do physical labor. Screw that. If being useless is what it means to be feminine, I’ll just be manly.
Now, maybe there are heels that don’t hurt. I have a couple pairs of wedges that I can go about my daily tasks in without actively being in pain (though that is a far cry from “comfortable.” ) But I’ve been trying like crazy to find a pair of heels I don’t hate. I’ve bought maybe a dozen pairs in the last year. Like I said, I live in a culture where everyone wears heels all of the time. I even saw heels at the freaking Mount Everest Base Camp. After all those heels, I’ve managed to find one pair of wedges that I could wear without constantly wanting to sit down. Now, you can’t tell me each of the hundreds of women I see every day has managed to find that perfect set of heels that don’t hurt. These ladies are hurting. And I think it’s a sign of a culture that does not value women as people and a sign of women who do not value themselves.
When I was going through classical dance training, one mean thing I had to do to myself was dance in pointe shoes. AKA torture chambers for the feet. Traditionally, men do not dance on pointe. Only women. And you have to carry your entire body weight on the tips of your toes, and do so while dancing, pirouetting, shifting your weight onto one leg, etc etc. The shoes are made from layers of hardened glue and canvas and feel like cement blocks when you first wear them. Walking in heels is nothing in comparison.
Once, someone brought up the idea that the concept of heels is like a vestige of Chinese foot binding. You know, where you put yourself through physical pain - sometimes to the point of physical deformity - to conform to some ideal of beauty. Huh, I’ve never thought about it that way, but I see where he got the idea. What I do like about heels is that they can make a person as tall as the average man. I suppose some people wear them for similar reasons that short guys wear “lifts” in their shoes.
Yeah, they do totally hose their feet, don’t they. How silly.
If they don’t “make it” by their mid-late teens they’re done. And their feet are already ruined.
