Two phrases I'm confused about

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Two particular phrases popped into my head while skating 2nd line defense at the local rink, of all places.

  1. “The Clap”

Now, I understand this is a generic reference to VD, but is it linked to a definitive disease?

  1. “Keeping it Real”

What am I keeping, and why is it fake? What the hell does this mean? If I play a great game, am I keeping it real? If I eat a bowl of mashed potatoes, is it still real? Do I need to keep “it” or can I just take the real and leave “it” but the wayside?

Call me ignorant. I should know these at this point in my life. Help, before I tell someone to keep the clap real . . .
Tripler
As confused as a baby in a topless bar.

2

AFAIK, the clap refers to gonnorhea.

My dad used to teach sex ed to sailors. The way he explained it was, if you had to grab the overhead pipe while you pissed, you had urethritis. If you bent the pipe while you pissed, you had the clap.

3

Keeping it real means to not front. Don’t be fake. Don’t put on airs.

Don’t use no double negatives.