Two (unrelated) questions about premature ejaculation and morning wood. TMI (duh)

I feel a bit silly asking these questions, because I feel like I should already know the answers, and I don’t. But, hey, that’s what the SDMB is for.

So - easy question first -

Guys, when you wake up in the morning with a hard on, is that thing ready for action? I mean, I’ve heard it called a “pee hard-on”, which sort of implies that it’s only there because the guy has to pee. So, if that’s true (is it?), is it best for the guy to get up and pee and then come back to bed, assuming some morning sex is going to happen, or is it OK to just jump right in there?

I know guys can’t pee and ejaculate at the same time, but I guess I’m wondering if you WERE to jump right in there, would the resulting ejaculationbe uncomfortable, or not as enjoyable, or whatever?

Ok, now for the (what I think) is going to be the harder question (pardon the pun) -

I was watching Sex and the City and Carrie starts dating a guy who turns out to be a **PREMATURE EJACULATOR!!!/B] Ahem. So - here’s the question for anyone with experience with this, or anyone who wants to speculate:

Why is this a problem? Or, more specifically, assuming the couple is kissing, petting, and the guy ejaculates - why don’t they just wipe up the sperm, and carry on? I’ve seen pictures (adds for some sort of product) where the guy is sitting on the side of the bed with his head hung in shame and the woman is sitting there looking all pissed off and disgusted. ??!!??!! :confused: :confused: :confused:

This really confuses me - I get that guys have a refractory period and it takes them a while to achieve an erection a second (third, forth) time, but so what? Why would the couple just not continue with foreplay until he’s hard again?

But wait! you say - he’ll ejaculate too fast again! Look, there’s only so many times that a man over the age of about 30 is going to be able to come that fast - eventually (3 times? 4 times?), he’s gonna be out of sperm and things are going to take longer.

See, in my head that sounds like kind of a good time - both halves of the couple having multiple orgasms - WHEE! But it doesn’t seem to play out like that in “literature” (or advertisements or whatever).

So – what’s the deal? I’ve never dated a premature ejaculator before - or maybe I have and didn’t realize 'cus I was too busy pursuing round 2 to notice.

So - if the guy was to come really really fast, what is it stopping the couple from just continuing? Psychological stuff? The woman reacting weird? The guy reacting weird? Or is there some physical thing that would prevent the man from getting hard again?

I patiently await enlightenment. 

First question. It depends. Great answer huh? No really it depends on how full the my bladder is, and what position we are talking about. If my bladder is very full, and you jump on top, every time you bounce down the pressure in my bladder goes up. If you want a visual it looks like:
:smiley: :eek: :smiley: :eek: :smiley: :eek: :smiley: :eek: :smiley: :eek:
Get the picture?
As for question #2 I got nuthin other than the refractory period for some guys is hours.
[hijack] I recall a cartoon from Playboy in the 1960s. Couple is at dinner in a nice restaurant. The lady looks a little shocked and says “Already? Wow that is premature.”[/hijack]

Good answer to question 1 - particularly the visual! :slight_smile: So, I suppose rather than just jumping right in there, it’s better to see how the fella in question is feeling. Got it.

As to this:

I’ve never experienced this. 40 minutes, tops. And 40 minutes of foreplay is no problem, whatsoever. :smiley:

Most of the stigma around PE comes from the silly notion that the only way a Man can Truly Satisfy a Woman is with a Good, Hard Dicking. Thus, any “failure” in this scenario is a cause for shame and disgust. For some, penetration is the be-all and end-all of sex.

*Alyssa: Let me ask you something. Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: What, are you asking for my permission?
Alyssa: In your estimation.
Banky Edwards: Yeah, sure.
Alyssa: So for you, to fuck means to penetrate. You’re used to the more traditional definition. You, inside some girl you duped, jackhammering away, not noticing the bored look in her eyes.
Banky Edwards: Hey, I always notice the bored look in their eyes. *

As regards #1, morning pee is a regular thing for me, and it sometimes has conflicted with some amorous intentions. But then, my wife also has the morning pee ritual, so for us to just jump to it is a rare occurence. We both have to do our thing (pee), then go do the other thing. Not romantic, but the best way. It is less romantic to stop in the middle of lovin’ to take a pee, I assure you.

And I got nothin’ on #2.

So uh, How you doin? :smiley:

Well, I’m a girl, but I’ve had at least one boyfriend who had PE problems.

It’s not really the way you describe - at least, it isn’t in my experience. I’ve never had a boyfriend who had a problem with it during foreplay. It’s always been that sex itself only lasts 10 or 20 seconds. Sure, you could stop and go back to foreplay and eventually take another try… but that one only lasts 10 or 20 seconds as well. Sometimes you wanna take a little longer, if you know what I mean.

Dr. Tran? Is that you?

Now, now, let’s not dismiss the value of a Good Hard Dicking.

There is also, I think, considerable stigma associated with a lack of control over your own sexual response.

And frankly, while a 40 minute foreplay/refractory interval could be nice, I wouldn’t enjoy it being mandatory. I mean, variety in pacing is important.

Especially if after the 40 minutes, you’re going to get 10 or 20 seconds of sex.

My understanding of PE is that it’s not like it happens once and then the guy goes through his refractory period and becomes marathon man. It’s more like he’s going to do that every time.

Stew Griffin: [after having sex with Fran] Um… that’s never happened before.
Fran: Which part? The eight seconds of sex or the 45 minutes of crying?
Stew Griffin: Uh, I guess both.

Yes. Or, at least, that’s been my experience.

If that were the case, guys would generally get hard when they need to pee, I think. And maybe I’m alone in this, but I don’t generally get happy in my happy place when I need to pee.

Well, if I’ve just spent eight hours busily not peeing, I might need to, but that I’m hard is zero indication of that, far as I know. Might ask the guy in question if he’d like a bit of something before or after going potty.

IF I need to pee, it won’t be as enjoyable, because I’ll be going (mentally; saying it would kill the mood) “Feels good don’t pee feels good don’t pee ooh, don’t bounce like that no back to that position where you weren’t hitting my bladder feels good right there right there pleeeeeeeeeeeease don’t peeeeeeeeeee” and such.

If not, assume a position:)

Since most of semen is in fact anything but sperm, that seems not to make quite so much sense. What keeps me from coming, say, six times a day isn’t “Note to self: only five more spermatozoansto use today. Be judicious” but “Note to self: this kinda hurts a little. Maybe wait a bit” and “Okay, not as much in the mood as I was for the first three.”

It is not. Since the basic assumption is wrong, any conclusion derived from the fact is wrong.

Depends on how bad you have to go. Sex can be fine, though it’s usually more comfortable if the bladder isn’t full. It’s more the pressure on the bladder – try pressing on you own when you have to go and see.

Cultural, primarily. It’s taken as a sign of lack of sexual knowlege (you learn to control things). There’s no reason why it should be a problem with a caring partner. What you suggest would certainly be possible – the guy should be ready within a half hour.

I can’t believe I’m about to trype this but here it goes:

When I was younger I would purposely “Get my freak on” when I had to pee. Not bladder about to burst pee but rather slightly.

Reason being; I could fuck like a porn star and not lose my load for a very long time. With out that and totally sober,I’d lose my load with in a couple of minutes of actual intercourse. (At 35 this is no longer a problem)

So for me personally, if you want to jump on my morning wood go right ahead just understand I might have to take a bathroom break before I can finish MY business.

Err, By “you” I meant the metaphorical “you” not you personally.

Unless of course… Oh nevermind…

Really! That’s very interesting. I guess I really haven’t been with a guy with PE problems then, because round one may take no time at all, but generally once you get up to round 3 or 4, you’re in there for the long haul, if you know what I mean.

And I totally appreciate the fact that sometimes you want a quickie, but not THAT quickie so the 40 minutes of foreplay is out.

Mind you, I can go from 0 - 60 and cross the bloody finish line in about 2 minutes, so 30 seconds of actual penetration probably wouldn’t be a huge problem. I’ve just seen PE protrayed like penetration isn’t even an option, which might be a bit dissapointing.

As others have said, sometimes yer just jonesin’ for a good, hard dicking.

I’ve dated a guy briefly with PE problems. My issue was not with the PE, though, it was with his absolute and total lack of ability to deal with it. He refused to acknowledge it was happening, he refused to talk about it, or to find ways to work around it. He simply would pretend I wasn’t exciting him anymore, and so he’d gone down. Yup, he tried to blame it on me. But it was painfully obvious what was going on.

That relationship did not last long, let me tell you.

But he sounds like such a sweetie.


What - like you got him TOOOOO excited and he couldn’t help himself and then all of a sudden he’s just not that into you?

Wow - sounds like a real prize - although in that situation it doesn’t sound like PE was the problem so much as Mr. Wonderful is an asshole.

Now - here’s another question - perhaps I’ve just been with Men of Steel[sup]TM[/sup] in the past - but…

So - the good hard dicking has lasted 10 - 20 seconds and blammo, the guy comes. Now, in my experience, if you just wait a little while (a minute, maybe) and then start moving around again, the penis will harden right up again. Not necessarily as hard as before hand, but certainly hard enough to get yer rocks off. And the fella won’t necessarily ejaculate again, but maintaining some sort of erection doesn’t seem to be an issue.

Now - have I just been blessed with studs in the past, or have you PE experiencing girls/guys never tried that particular approach?

Regarding the morning wood/bladder issue…

There’s no way I could go for it before reducing the hydraulic pressure. It would be too painful. Any female unlucky enough try try and “force the issue,” as it were, might find herself to be the beneficiary of my very first golden shower.