I’m getting on in years and find myself getting more and more incontinent. I’m thinking that if I wrap my penis in a knot (probably a half-hitch) I won’t have to pee so much. Of course I could untie it maybe 3 times daily to to Pee to prevent bladder explosion.
My SO says OK as long as the knot is up toward the front. Wonder why?
Curious in Cucamonga.
PS also thinking about a square knot but I’m not sure about the material I have to work with.
A square knot?!
Unless yours is the detachable kind, you’re likely to have trouble with that one.
Wouldn’t a clip clothespin be quicker??
Ya know that thing they pound into a wine cask to act as a valve? Kinda cigar-shaped with a Tee handle? Maybe, just maybe…
I thought about a rubber band but then thought maybe the head might get gangrene.
I discussed this with my other girlfriend and she said only once if it’s green.
Specifally asked for a square knot though…
Think: Alligator Clips.
No. No no no no. Think Super Glue. (Hey, it works on turkey rectums…)
Not necessarily a work-safe site, but if you can tie a knot in it, you might think of auditioning for Puppetry Of The Penis.
I’m thinking ribbons here. They’re tension-adjustable–looser for comfort, tighter if you’re planning on attending a kegger.
And, they could come in a variety of significant colors, such as:
Camo - I Like to Hunt With My Buddies
Rainbow - I Let My Buddy Put It On Me
Black - My Buddy Died
I’m sure there’s more. Be creative.
They made adult diapers for the sole purpose of not making you have to tie granny knots in your junk. I think I’d try that route before going boy scout on the Little Rev.
Have you thought about a cork?
Be sure not to leave home without a opener, though. It might be embarassing to have to ask perfect strangers for a corkscrew.
“cork” “screw” ::snerk::
How about a stopcock?
I’m so sorry for that.
Don’t ever be sorry about a quip like that!
You can decrease the likelihood of leaks by elevating the open end above the bladder - just sling it over your shoulder, like I do.
Sounds good to me. After all, they do call that area of the anatomy the “knotty bits.”
…You’re all SICK. Sick, twisted freaks. 
Why knot (sorry) go with a piece of twine or fishing line? (Subsequent jokes about fishing rods, I leave to much funnier Dopers than me.)
Nah, how about a petcock. Thread it in and relief is just a few turns of the lever away.
Hee hee!
I’m surprised none of you men are wincing and crossing your legs. I’m a girl, and this is making me cringe. Also laugh, but hey, what can you do?
