You have that stuck in my head now, Clothahump. I hope you’re satisfied.
I mean really satisfied. 
“…missed it by That much…” 
As I’ve aged, I’ve noticed that I need a greater concentration, that any momentary distraction can lead to failure (in the past, failures were extremely rare). I also need a different physical stimulus than I used to.
My dorm’s official cheer when I was in college. I also printed it in our dorm magazine, to preserve it for eternity. Excellent fight song, don’t you think?
It’d be less embarassing for you if you’d just admitted you have no idea what happens when women masturbate.
I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm in under 15 minutes. Even as a young man masturbation/sex had to last at least 20-30 minutes before I could reach orgasm. I know this must be unusual for a man, but I’ve never ejaculated “too early” in my life. So I guess when I masturbate I have to really, really get into it because it takes quite a bit of work/time to climax.
He doesn’t seem to know much about male masturbation either.
The real problem isn’t a matter of the intensity of the labor, although I would concede that once the labor expended passes a certain margin the slope of the line indicating cost/benefit ratio crosses the y axis and once it’s negative the wank quotient will certainly never get ahead of itself unless you attempt to derive the product of two negative wanks.
However, if you’re needing a lot of forearm strength I think your technique might need some refinement: it’s a push-pull maneuver, like when drawing a hunting bow, so you should really be working on your biceps more than anything.
As for generating sufficient friction without multiplying drag, I only have one word for you: sandpaper, it works every time.
I’m … going to go hide in a corner, I think. (I’ve never heard an engineer - physicist? - talk so dirty before.)
As with anything else in life . . . as much as I’m looking forward to the destination, the journey can be just as rewarding.
Normally, I’d be happy to give your wank model a trial in the wind tunnel, but I’ve decided that my comparative advantage in wankology lies in a more theoretical analysis of the properties of wank.
What on earth makes you say this? The female masturbatory process is one of the most well documented natural phenomena. There are thousands of case studies on Bangbros alone.
That’s what I was thinking too. Or rather wondering. The phrase he used, at least to me, says “I don’t know a single thing about women’s sexuality”.
But I imagine I’ll get my answers further down thread, which I haven’t had a chance to completely read yet.
While my orgasms vary in intensity proportional to the amount of stimulation, I don’t think they vary to the same degree that women’s do. That’s what I meant. I thought ‘polishing the hubcap’ was a funny euphemism.
What does it have to do with a hubcap?
Seconded. I think that’s why you’re getting “grief” from the female dopers. The hubcap comment makes no sense.
Then, suggest a female version of ‘polishing the helmet’ and carry on with the discussion of wankory.
Just wait til we pull out the Computer Numerically Controlled grinder/polisher with engineered diamond dust abrasive!
Your comment was ’I’d imagine that a female would approach the task as one polishing a hubcap. Calling the job done is more of a judgment call. "
The two ideas don’t jibe. The first part “approach the job as on polishing a hubcap”. How exactly DOES one approach the job of polishing a hubcap that is similar to a woman masturbating? And what does polishing a hubcap have to do with knowing a job is done or not? That is what people are trying to figure out. And secondly, what makes it funny? Are you trying to say that the girlie bits ARE the hubcap? That makes less sense, Okay, I’m old, but I can’t be alone in never having heard that particular ahem nickname for the female anatomy.
Sorry, I’m not being snarky here, I really am just trying to figure out what you were trying to say.
I don’t understand the hubcap or the M&M analogy. I’m also confused as to how something as simple as masturbation got turned into something requiring an engineering degree to understand.
Yeah. Maybe it’s because I’ve never polished hubcaps, so I don’t know what it means. The “how do you know when you’re done” question sort of made sense in conjunction to the hubcap but now that I know that’s not what you mean, I’m even more confused.
gallows fodder, I took the M&Ms one to mean that when you stop eating M&Ms, you just stop because you’re full or you’re tired of them. It’s not that you physically can’t eat anymore. You probably could pop just one more in, but you just don’t feel like it. That’s how it is with me and masturbation. A lot of times I figure, I could have just one more, but…eh, not in the mood anymore.