You know, for a second I was going to post something along the lines of “you think your Wildcats football team is bad? Oy!”
And then I looked up my Wildcats’ schedule and results, and then looked up your Wildcats’ schedule and results. And you know what?
You’re right. The U of K does suck. And so:
Bear down, Arizona!
Bear down, red and blue!
Bear down, Arizona!
Hit 'em hard, let 'em know who’s who!
Bear down, Arizona!
Bear down, red and blue!
Go, go, Wildcats go!
Arizona, bear down!
(And a bit of history, too: this all was inspired by John “Button” Salmon, Wildcat extroardinaire and student body president, who in his deathbed in 1926 after an automobile accident uttered to coach John F. McKale, “Tell the boys…tell them to bear down.”)
Depends on the setting. Minor league sports are generally obscenity-free zones (in theory). A college or major league event is fair game, though. However, college football fans are generally either too sober (alumni) or too drunk (students) to come up with any original chant longer than a few words with staying power. One that’s caught on here at the University of Arizona this year is “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!” etc. after a particularly bad call by the refs (of which we’ve had many, as if we needed any more help wrestling defeat after defeat from the clenching jaws of victory!). Another one heard this year (obviously only for one game) in the student section was, simply, “Fuck Wisconsin!”, repeated until enough people fell over or forgot it.
Oh, here’s another one that a small group of students (about 5 of them at the beginning of the game, and then more of the students around them join in as the game goes on) do when our 'Cats gain a first down:
“Move the chains, move the chains, move the chains!” (with both arms moving from left to right or right to left, whichever way the 'Cats are rolling)
Then, one student yells “Suck my balls!” and the rest point to him and yell “Suck his balls!”
A couple more are coming back to me now. How could I forget the ever-popular “A-S-Who?” (The name of our rival school, Arizona State University, is abbreviated to ASU. Fudge the pronunciation a bit and you’ve got a clever if somewhat worn-out way to question the noteworthiness of their team.)
And University City High School in San Diego (usually just called “UC”) is often met with chants of “You can’t spell ‘SUCK’ without U C!”
So are you one of God’s chosen people (like the real life jews we suffer for thousands of years and are always awaiting the arrival of the messiah (Actually we’ve had the messiah - he was born in Harlow and is called Glenn)
"Keown, he’s got a monkey’s head,
He’s got a monkey’s head
He’s got a monkey’s head"
and my own personal favourite:
“Whos got a big fat wife
who’s gor a big fat wife?
Ian wright Ian Wright
He’s got a big fat wife”
Nothing that the whole stadium will sing along to. We’re too frozen in the kindergarten pop culture mindset to come up with anything creative.
When I went to NCSU, we had two fight songs, and the raunchier one goes:
We’re the Red and White from State
and we know we are the best
with our hands behind our backs
we can take on all the rest
GO TO HELL CAROLINA
DEVILS AND DEACS STAND IN LINE
RED AND WHITE FOR N C STATE
GO STATE!
Yes, that’s the raunchier one.
I mean, we do have cool ones but only a handful of people know them, like “I’m Your Mailman.” Been so long I forgot how that one goes, but it makes lots of comparisons to sex, like “I will put it in your box” and “I can come in any type of weather.”
The Duke Blue Devils have their zoo crew for their basketball games, and they always come up with something creative. Whenever the opposing team gets a free throw, all the fans on that end will stand up, put their arms straight up, and tilt them to the side at a slight angle to mess with the shooter’s perspective.
There was also one case where coach Mike Krezweski asked them to tone down their act when they were getting too raunchy. So the next game, instead of yelling BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT at the referee, they yelled WE BEG TO DIFFER! WE BEG TO DIFFER!
Well, the Kentucky football team doesn’t inspire a lot of chants (other than the all-too-rare “First doooooooooooooooooooooooooooown, Kentucky!” and the even-rarer “Touchdooooooooooooooooooooown, Kentucky!”) but the basketball team has the Bluehearts, who dress up like extras from Braveheart and lead the eRupption Zone in chants, cheers, etc.
And, since you asked:
On, on, U of K,
We are right for the fight today,
Hold that ball and hit that line,
Ev’ry Wildcat star will shine.
We’ll fight, fight, fight,
For the blue and white,
As we roll to that goal, varsity,
And we’ll kick, pass and run,
'Till the battle is won,
And we’ll bring home the victory.
On the tune of "De herdertjes lage bij nachte’ [A Christmas song]
The shepherds lay by night, [hi-hi-night]
They lay by night in the field
They kept so faithful the watch [ha-ha-watch]
They had counted their sheep
THERE they heard angels singing: AJAX
If any Americans want to see some real venom try and catch the Rangers v’s Celtic game tomorrow (it’ll be on in some bars somewhere as I believe there are a few Celtic supporters clubs on the east coast)
Guaranteed to have unsavoury chants from both sides.
If you want to see just how vile Chelsea can get type “walk around tottenham with our willies hanging out” (yes really) into google.
Not for the easily offended, or indeed any actual members of the human race.
Someone should tell the two bob pricks that Abramovich is jewish. Not that it would penetrate their stupid BNP heads. Bates had the right idea about their supporters - pen 'em in and electrocute them.
Oh well; it’s always good to see them run away when we turn up…
You can always tell them that Matthew Harding was a Sheff Utd supporter to the end. His last words were “come on you blades”.
