You foreigners are too bloody reasonable to follow this game :).
Before you know it, they’ll be banning all dodgy decisions and we’ll have even less to bloody argue about! 
I couldn’t agree more.
In fact, the stance taken against MU by certain members of this message board has motivated me, entirely against my will, to become a reluctant but faithful supporter of the club.
This is because I happen to be a sixth generation pure-bred Libran and, as such, I have standards to uphold. I need to see balance. The scales have been tipped so far out of kilter that I have deemed it necessary to restore this balance in several ways, like so:
It started with an MU mouse and mat. Impressed by the total redness of these purchases, I then decided to get rid of every pair of curtains in the house and replace them with MU curtains. They are red with a club crest and a nice picture of Ryan Giggs on the outside. (When the lights in the house are on the place looks like a brothel from the outside, especially with the new red lamp I have installed above the front door. I have actually had people knocking on the door asking for sexual favours, which propositions I have politely but firmly declined to pursue.)
I have removed my 3’ x 2’ glassed print of Frank Zappa dressed as the Mona Lisa from its place in the living room, and substituted in its stead a large photograph of Rio Ferdinand taken when he was out shopping. I have Cristiano Ronaldo cushions on the sofa and a red footstool in the shape of Sir Alex Ferguson’s head. My tangerine coloured fridge has been thrown out for recycling and a brand new red MU fridge stands there in its place. In the bedroom I have a Carlos Tévez bedspread atop a pair of red sheets (picture of Wayne Rooney on one side and Colleen on the other). Everything is so fucking red you just wouldn’t believe it.
In the garden I refuse to grow anything which is not red. In the summer, I have salvia, snapdragon, dianthus, dahlia and poppies. I can’t grow red flowers in winter, of course, so I just paint the shed red (picture of Michael Carrick on the door).
The only birds I allow in the garden are redstarts and redpolls. Robins aren’t committed enough to the cause so I discourage them with my new official Manchester United scarecrow, an effigy of an unshaven Gary Neville dressed as Santa Claus. Oh, and if I see any blue tits I shoot the bastards.
I don’t know where this is all going to end. If this inexorable disparagement of United is to continue unabated then pretty soon I will be bathing in Red Bull and drinking blood. (Actually, I might have that the wrong way round.)
So, give me a break. United haters are advised to just Pit the fucking club and have done with it.
Thank you.
Tres classy, but I’m very :dubious: about your Carlos Tevez bedspread! 
It’s the red sheets with shrek and his bride on that have me worried
Could have been worse…he might still have had Van Nistelroy pillow-cases!
I used to deliver mail to Van N.
A more miserable twat I have yet to meet.
We used to have a raffle each Christmas at the post office in aid of blind/childrens home/hospitals etc.
I asked him for a signed shirt for the raffle, his reply was just NO!
Bastard
That sounds soooooo Dutch. The greediest, stingiest people in the world. The Scots have nothing on the Dutch. I blame Calvin (not the little boy from the comic strip).
Come on, how cheerful would you be having to face that fucker in the mirror every morning? 
Obligatory Jim Broadbent link.(NSFW - language)
I hate your team 
I also delivered to Gary McAllister when he played for Liverpool.
When I asked him for something, anything, for the raffle he came up a couple of days later with a framed photo of all the Liverpool first XI and it was signed by the players.
Denis Law always gave a few signed photos and one time he got me a United shirt signed by the man himself.
I delivered to a fair number of celebs and the only one ever to give sweet bugger all was Van-N
Did you ever ask him “Why the long face?”, chowder?
Classy guys, them Leeds players.
In other news, shockingly, it is looking increasingly likely that Arsenal might actually be about to sign someone who is legally old enough to drink.
Sky News are reporting that we’ve had a work permit request for Arshavin accepted.
Unpossible. He’s neither French nor under 18, it has to be an elaborate sham.
Seriously though, don’t know much about him but more creative players in the EPL are always to be welcomed.
ETA:
Roque Santa Cruz:
Apps: 223
Goals: 65
And Blackburn won’t take 18.5m for him. Someone explain this to me, please.
Arshavin was one of the main reasons St. Petersburg won the UEFA cup last year. He was also very important to the Russian team during the European Championships. He single-handedly destroyed the Dutch hopes of getting to the semi-finals.
He’s versatile (can play as a winger, striker and a playmaker), fast, talented, and young. He should definitely be able to help the Gunners.
Yeah, I know that stuff, everyone does. Lots of people have had a purple patch though, I don’t know if he’s genuine class or was just temporarily so. Maybe there’s a Russian on board who can tell us what he’s like day in day out.
I believe he’s been kinda shit since that time, but then he said his mind has been in London for a while, so perhaps that’s the only reason.
Speaking of the Russian league, how on earth does that work in such a huge country?
Not sure, but since this year’s Premier League has a team from Vladivostok in it, you’ve gotta think that’s one HELL of a road trip!!! :eek:
I didn’t know you were a postie. My God, a postman and a City fan. How did you survive through the 80’s without major drugs?
Anyway, back to the footy. Heskey gets us two extra points against Pompey. Sad thing is with the way the transfer market is going, that $3 million looks like it might be already paid off with just that one win.
And the Arse tie with Everton. Great result for the Villans. Chelsea aren’t looking too together, either, so you never know what can happen.
Liverpool are crashing fast too. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the table ends something like United, Villa, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool. Only takes a few more draws for the pool (and you’d be brave to bet against that!) and suddenly it could be a horrible turnaround.
Chelsea…Malouda is so terrible, and Kalou is merely decent. Oh, how they miss Robben and Duff. And the good version of Cole, dunno where he went. Not that it matters anymore.
Gotta give Everton credit, they had an awful start to their season, but they’ve been really good since then. And they’ve given all the big clubs a real game (Villa were pretty fortunate to win, you must admit). Maybe they should just sell their strikers…