God Damn!
The lead up fights on the main card were entertaining but nothing mind blowing.
There were three stand-outs. Which, considering the track record of the Ultimate fighter is not at all bad.
Cutelaba* - Cannonier - Nuts fight. Cutelaba got schooled.
Before the introductions he crossed the octagon and stepped up to Jarred “Killa Gorilla”** Cannonier. This was a mistake.
Bravado and cockiness lay really when you actually back them up. They fail spectacularly when you get your ass handed to you for 15 solid minutes.
I don’t speak Moldovan so I’ve no idea what the corner was telling him between rounds but I really hope it was something like, “You’re doing really well when you avoid getting hit. Stop getting hit. Please.”
It isn’t that he tried to dodge and lost the race it was that he allowed Cannonier to punch him, largely at will, so that he, Cutelaba felt justified in punching back. This he did - slowly and once in a while.
- I can’t see or type his name without going to “cute labia” - now you can’t either.
** So you can’t call a President a monkey but you can call a fighter gorilla. I grant that he is black and thus shares something of a sort-of trait with gorillas. Much the same as I do the underbelly of an anemic salmon.
Your name is Cannonier - you can’t make a play on “Guns”, “Volley” or something else equally obvious? You have to go to Killa Gorilla?
Jesus go with “Grape-Shot” just to entice the dorks.
I expect better next time.
Demetrious Johnson - Tim Elliott - Well fuck me.
See, there are two things that surprise me about this post. One is that I’m writing it at all given that on paper this card blew. The other is that the main event loses pride-of-place to the co-main.
Yup the main event ended with a Demetrious Johnson win. No one expected anything different. Not even Tim Elliott. It is rare that one fighter says of another “It isn’t always the best fighter who wins. I have to just go out and put on a solid performance.”
He admits that he is not the best fighter. This is not a good sign.
The build up is a whole bunch of Joe Rogan going on about how Johnson is Christ-on-wheels on his feet and Satan-on-Exlax on the ground. Best pound for pound fighter blah blah blah.
Tim Elliott thumped Demetrious Johnson in the 1st round. No question. Demetrious Johnson won the next four rounds.
Tim Elliott won on the feet. He tagged Johnson repeatedly, hurt him and kept on doing it. Elliott beat DJ’s ass in the 1st.
The next four rounds went very much like this:
- Demetrious gets a take down.
- They struggle on the ground - Demetrious is usually on top but is taking punches and elbows.
- They both try a bunch of pretty lick submissions and the scrambles are amazing. They slip shit that would kill mortal man and slide into and out of shit like ninjas in an 80’s movie.
4)Johnson is always on top and threatening Elliott is always on the bottom but attacking. Attacking and smiling.
Fucking Tim Elliott smiled the whole time. It wasn’t just mind games because he did it when DJ couldn’t see him. He smiled in DJ’s face and smiled away from it.
He said in his post-fight that he loves fighting
Grinning while losing in a tough fight is pretty solid evidence that he speaks the truth.
Benavidez - Cejudo - This was the co-main event and it blew the doors off the card.
I’ll be honest; I think that Cejudo won the fight but the fairest decision would have been a draw
In the first round Cejudo was thumping Benavidez. He was picking him apart but e was beating to the punch, eating counters and countering them much harder.
He landed a kick to Benavidez’s liver that momentarily dropped him and kept Benavidez’ left arm at his side. This opened up his face to attack.
By the end of round one Benavidez looked like he’d been punched in the head a lot. Cejudo looked like he’s just stepped off stage from a Menuedo tribute band gig.
The problem is that Cejudo kicked DJ in the bag. Twice. Hard.
Yves Lavigne issued a warning for the 1st nut shot and said if Cejudo did it again then he’s deduct a point. Cejudo did it again and Lavigne took the point.
So round two comes around and weird shit starts to happen.
At the beginning of the round Benavidez looked like he’d been set upon by harpies. As the round progressed he kept eating pinches and kicks. He threw back and certainly held his own but Cejudo was crisper and more accurate.
The strange thing is that the more Benavidez got hit the better he looked. Through the fight his face looked better and better. In the 1st he looked like he’d pissed off an especially vindictive raccoon. By the 3rd he was GQ*.
The fight ended with Benavidez clearly taking the 3rd and it going to the judges.
Judge 1 scored it 29-27 for Cejudo (Cejudo won all three rounds but lost a point for pill-pop number two.)
Judge 3 scored it 29 - 27 for Benavidez (Benavidez won rounds 2 and 3 and Cejudo won round 1 but lost a point)
Judge 2 scored it 30 - 26 for Benavidez (Benavidez won all three rounds plus the point deduction.
Fairly speaking there is no possible way the Cejudo lost round 1. but judging is what it is and so what should have been a draw ( I told Mrs. Zeke that I figured it would be about a 75% chance) turned out to be a Benavidez win ( I told Mrs. Zeke I figure about a one percent chance - if the judges were exceptionally high.)
Sometimes the 1% wins I guess.
For a card I really couldn’t care less about this one really delivered. All five main card fights were at least decent and there were three good ones.
It is rare that I find myself wanting more rounds at the end of a fight. But I did twice on this card.
I wanted DJ - Elliott to go a few more because I wanted to see who would tire and make the first mistake. Elliott handled the best that DJ could throw at him and was still fresh and smiling. A few more rounds would have been interesting.
I wanted Cejudo Benavidez to go two more just so that there was a definite winner. Benavidez would have won. No doubt.
That was some Hulk Hogan shit that he showed. The more he got hit the stronger he got. Like I said, he was less ugly at the end of round three than he was at the end of the 1st.
UFC 206 next week.