Holy moist towelette (…Batman)
A mere moist towelettes scares not my mighty Sh*t Demon…AKA Avatar of Excrement!!!
::Steps in::
Shit demon! HA!
Take this! **An Employee Contract that Lacks Stock Options!
No mere moist towelette, supersaiyan, but a holy moist towelette. And if it can clean my two-year-old’s butt, it can wipe your demon’s…
Ha! Both the Moist Towelette and the Employee Contract that Lacks Stock Options are but confetti before my Complete Set of Ginsu Knives That Can Slice Through A Tin Can and Still Cut a Tomato!
Pa-bo! Your Complete Set of Ginsu Knives That Can Slice Through A Tin Can and Still Cut a Tomato! is no match for The entire population of Guatemala!
Piffle! The entire population of Guatemala will be blown away by Hurricane Guido!
After witnessing all of the carnage and mayhem I feel I am forced to release my THREE STOOGES CURLY OF DEATH (nuck nuck. Surely noone can stand against that.
Dark necromancy is afoot! I intone the spell to call the Unspeakable Spectre of Spiro Agnew, to unleash Nattering Nabobs of Negativism, followed swiftly by the Truculent Troglodytes, and the feared and dreaded Pussilanimous Pussyfooters!
And there shall be great weeping, and gnashing of teeth!
In a double-whammy, I destroy Hurricane Guido with Cloudy Cumulus Cold Front and clobber Curly from conciousness with a Rapidly Revolving Moe carrying a 2x4
I retaliate with a nice big slice of Mom’s fresh warm homemade apple pie…of DEATH!!!
The Nattering Nabobs and Pussilanimous Pussyfooters are nastily pilfered by the not-so-subtle-yet-eerily-effective machinations of a 9 yr old!!!
Not knowing what Truculent Troglodytes are, I cunningly ignore them until they go away.
I wondered who would release the Moe device against my Curly.
This calls for the release of the FEROCIOUS FANGED FAST FOOTED FERRETS of FURY! Woe, my God have mercy on you all.
FEROCIOUS FANGED FAST FOOTED FERRETS of FURY? Ha!
Carl Sagan’s cadaver, frozen in nitrogen, buttressed with rebar, mounted on a pneumatic pogo stick with a photon cluster cannon!!!
Ferret Helper!!
Ha! Your pitiful Carl Sagan cadaver shatters before the breathtaking inanity of my Stick-On Window Garfield!!!
Take that!
Your Stick on Window Garfield is utterly destroyed (as is your car, the road and a significant portion of the world as we know it) by my Insane, Idiotic, Unholy Horde of Usenet Posters from AOL
*Inspired by post on the thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24321&pagenumber=2 *
-Fox
the Truculent Troglodyte uses an antelope thigh-bone to render Dewt’s cranium into grey pudding with crunchy chunks of skull scattered throughout.
Cavemen do not like to be ignored. And their modes of expression extremely limited.
Ha ha ha, that is no match for** a Thirteen Year Old’s Drawing Of A Nicaraguan Family!
Fool!!! Your Thirteen Year Old’s Drawing Of A Nicaraguan Familyis devastated by a sarcastic comment from my Cute Goth Record Store Employee!!!
pssst…
If anyone really gets in trouble, I have “2 African Swallows carrying a coconut” for sale to the highest bidder. It isn’t exactly a devastating weapon, but it should buy you some time…
Shall we start the bidding at…$15? ay?