No offense, but 2 African Swallows carrying a coconut is really no defense against my Worn-Out Dentist’s Office Copy of a June, 1986 Highlights Magazine.
BUT-
It buys enough time for me to present my
<B>CINNAMON BUN BEARING THE IMAGE OF THE VIRGIN MARY PURCHASED IN A SOUTH MIAMI MALL</B>
None shall stand against its awesome power.
Fortunately, I am shielded by my ANITA BRYANT PRO-LIFE/FLORIDA ORANGE JUICE poster.
I counter with my THREE DAY OLD DIRTY BABY DIAPER.
OOOHHH the Pain, THE PAIN.
Your 3 day old baby diaper Is nothing compared to my 1 week old (in hot apartment) dead body
(I actually picked one of those up before…YUCK!!!)
-Fox
Oh, and in that last post I meant the body was there for 7 days, not that it was of a baby…sorry
-Fox
Reeling back from your WEEK OLD DEAD BODY (not of a baby) and clinging desperately to my ANITA BRYANT POSTER shield, I reach deep into my pack and pull out 30 episodes of…
HEE HAW staring BUCK OWENS AND ROY CLARK with THE WHOLE HEE HAW CAST.
This has been know to sterilize frogs at 100 yards.
The Whole Hee-Haw Cast are hurled into Hell by the second coming of the Bay City Rollers. S…A…T-U-R…D-A-Y…NIGHT!!!
Your deployment of the Bay City Rollers leaves me with no recourse but to counter with 6 weeks of ballot recounts in Florida, including close scrutiny of the entire family of Chads: hanging, dimpled, pregnant, and the rarely seen virgin chad.
I counter your Bay City Rollers with the phoenix-like, continually-reborn John Travolta’s Career!
And, whilst you are staggering in the face of such mediocrity, I hit you below the belt with the Geneva Convention-Prohibited Scrappy Doo!!!
Ow! Chad in my eye! Time Out! Time!
Ouch, viscious.
Staggering Counter with a dual attack of a **Brittany Spears Nipple Slip and a Brittany Spears BJ Vid (an exclusive of {insert any Celeb site name here}.com **
A little masturbation eliminates ALOT of stress…
(sorry I cant provide links, its against SDMB policy… 
)
-Fox
You think you are bad with your 6 weeks of ballot recounts in Florida, including close scrutiny of the entire family of Chads: hanging, dimpled, pregnant, and the rarely seen virgin chad!
I pull out my Unholy three years of hearing about Bill Clinton’s blowjobs!
Meditating upon the teachings of my master, Siam Lueng-Po, I extend my chi to block your Unholy three years of hearing about Bill Clinton’s blowjobs with a one-two attack of Violence in the Media followed up by an After-School Drama About Teen Pregnancy!
Feh! Your Violence in the Media followed up by an After-School Drama About Teen Pregnancy is easily quelled by a MacDonalds super-sized Value Meal #1, and an NSynch Fun Meal with glow-in-the-dark temporary tattoos!** Resistance is futile!!
I gobble up your MacDonalds super-sized Value Meal #1 with a smile and attack your NSynch Fun Meal with glow-in-the-dark temporary tattoo with my Starfish Navigation System and Fred Durst hat!
My aura flares with the image of the sacred dragon as I pummel your Starfish Navigation System and Fred Durst hat! with a Cyndi Lauper Greatest Hits CD That Skips on Track #5 (She-Bop)!!!
Quickly downing 6 gravol, the brainless dewt jumps in with a good solid squicking. Seeing someone actually go squick themself turns the Truculent Troglodyte’s stomach inside out effectively incapacitating it.
The Truculent Troglodyte failed to realize that dewt often functions in a brainless state. Ask Dylan.
Slowly realizing the song isn’t supposed to keep going like that, I quickly counter with a vintage Donkey Kong Jr. Colecovision Cartridge and a pack of peppermint Mentos.
Yin-Yang energies flow through me like a waterfall as I banish your vintage Donkey Kong Jr. Colecovision Cartridge and a pack of peppermint Mentos with BOTH the Actors who Played Darrin on Bewitched followed quickly by a Novelty Porcelain Bust of Alfred E. Newman!!!
I counter your attack with the Novelty Porcelain Bust of
Alfred E. Newman and go on offensive mode with A Mego 12" Wonder Woman Doll with Fly Away Action!!