Arial forever and ever!
This too.
No more broccoli or bad pizza either. Pizza Hut is cardboard flavored goo and will not be served.
At least he didn’t get his beard stuck in the pencil sharpener.
cigarettes
Dust. I would like to ban dust.
Self-entitlement.
I’d ban militant atheists, you know the ones that seem to have a raging hard-on to wipe out all religions. Ironically they have a particular hard-on for Christianity funny considering Christianity is one of the major religions that allowed atheists well to become atheists in relative peace compared to other religions. Christians have let people become atheists in the west let westerners become religous if they choose and mind your own business.
Cigarettes would be a close second.
Ibanez,
Your friendly neighborhood atheist.
I too was going to say Intolerance. However, that would be mighty intolerant of intolerant people, now wouldn’t it? I’d have to put myself in jail as soon as I made the decree.
So. I would ban intolerance except for intolerance against those who are intolerant of something other than intolerance.
Republicans/TEA Partiers/Neo-Conservatives of any stripe.
I am tempted to agree, but I think I’ll stick with banning Foods I Don’t Like.
Texting while driving, cell phone use in the theatre, and other forms of anti-social behavior will not be banned but taken care of by deportation.
If I can only pick one thing, I will be going with Anything Which Annoys Bathsheba. However ‘Anything Which Annoys Bathsheba’ will be defined in the Bathshebaland Anything Which Annoys Bathsheba Regulations (which will be updated whenever Bathsheba sees fit) as:
Being rude to waiters.
Stopping at the top of escalators.
Driving real slow in the ultra fast lane (driving 2 kpms per hour faster than the traffic in the slow lane for 15 kilometres is not “overtaking”, not allowing traffic on the onramp to merge, driving real slow on the onramp
Slow walkers. If you don’t have a physical deficit, Bathsheba will give you one if you wander about like a cow.
Standing at the checkout while your stuff is being scanned and not getting your preferred payment method ready.
Radios at work.
Shouting into the telephone in order to be heard over the radio.
Shouting into the telephone.
Untidy gardens. Weed, water, mulch. It’s not that hard. Bathsheba will steal your plants at doggy walking time if you don’t look after them.
Sexism.
I think that if men and women feel they have equal power, then all the other problems will take care of themselves.
Good point. I guess pencil sharpeners should be banned too. 
Getting your beard caught on one is a paddling for sure.
I’d ban all agriculture/civilization, and turn my country into a sanctuary for prehistoric lifestyles. It’d be an interesting experiment, at least.
-Pseudoscience like Creationism/Intelligent Design, anti-vaxx…hell, anything anti-science. You can question individual scientists or scientific studies, etc., but anyone shown to be against science in general gets booted.
-Religious idiocy. I will be the one who decides what that means.
-Rudeness to service staff. ANY service staff.
-Fake vegan food (like “tofurkey”). If it ain’t meat, don’t call it meat.
-Tootsie rolls, and by extension, tootsie roll pops. Don’t tell me it’s “chocolate,” because it isn’t.
-Those nasty-ass hard candies that people sometimes have gathering dust in candy dishes. Werthers originals can stay, on the grounds that they are individually wrapped and also delicious.
-Any and all restrictions on abortion. No 24-hour waiting periods, no required parental permission, no nothing. Pro-life protests outside of abortion clinics are forbidden as well. (I would, however, make contraceptives very cheap and easy to obtain. I would also severely punish/boot anyone who forced a woman to have an abortion against her will.)
I’ve always wanted to banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts.
Personal vehicles beyond recreational and historically interesting ones. Acidia has spent a great deal of money investing in high speed rail, Autonomous Circulating Transport, Hydrogen buses, and walkable city planning. If you want a personal vehicle you may apply for one of two licenses.
Recreational license, covers four wheelers, dirt bikes, snow-mobiles, and other offroad type equipment. You vehicle is welcome to be transported to the operation site by our other continuously running systems.
Historical/ Antique/ Covers all personal vehicles deemed of historical or aesthetic interest. Operators must pass an extensive skills exam and are qualified as commercial drivers in Acidia. In addition owners must maintain both a 10k liability policy and pay a luxury tax every year. Currently, Supreme Dictator for Life Acid-Lamp has decreed that vehicles produced no later than 1970 may qualify. Exceptions will be made for later vehicles on a case by case basis.
Any ‘celebrity’ whose fame stems solely from relation or from being on one of those deity of choice-awful reality tv shows.
In fact, ban reality tv altogether. And anyone not making a contribution to society in some way, shape or form (exceptions on medical grounds, I suppose, but they better be signed off by two independent doctors). Screw them! You want to sit around on your arse all day, every day while other, hardworking people fund it? Fine. But not here.
I’ve always wanted my own island (I know it was supposed to be a country, but oh well).
With so many complaints these days about inappropriate clothing, why not just go to the source of the problem. I would ban clothes.
My first official act would be banning television. The source of all evil! And on that note, marketing and advertisements of every kind also strictly prohibited. I don’t care how much better your product is to the cheaper one next to it! Spending more money is not going to make anyone happier. its all lies. and lies are also banned, of course there will be specific exceptions based on circumstance.
Money will be illegal. Unnecessary really. Everything will be taken care of by the government. You wouldn’t need money if the government actually did its job.
Cars are going the way of the Dodo. Public trains and such will be available. No asphalt to defile my sanctuary.
Organized and official religion is also banned. Corporations and government departments and jurisdictions will not exist. Neither will the military. If you can ban dust and dirt, you can ban the military. I have very little respect for that bottom 10% of high school graduates who have nothing better to do with their lives. The government only has the military for the purpose of getting rid of those people.
certain sports of my own choosing will be banned. Theres hardly any intelligence required to be a professional athlete. just big muscles. And no actors/actresses either. but that’s covered in the ‘no television’ rule.
Stupid people are not welcome. people who have no capacity for abstract thinking fall under the former category. Fat people will be subjected to a camp where they will be starved until they are thin enough (im not talking about the full figured types, i mean the all out obese and morbidly obese). these people cannot be allowed to suffocate their feelings with food! And thus will also be educated about their condition during their time of “fasting”. They will also have their childbearing licences revoked.
yes, giving birth will require a licence, pending on genetic factors. Child rearing is a separate licence dependent upon habits and psychological condition.
All children are homeschooled, a licence will determine this as each child must attain a certain standard of general knowledge. However, the child education licence will be a secondary of the childrearing licence, as raising a child who is capable and willing to learn new things is more important than the actual education itself… Day cares are abolished. Days cares are used by households where both parents are working or they just don’t want to deal with their kids. There will be no such irresponsibility in my country. One parent must stay home with the child. Of course babysitters are acceptable, but that’s private matters, such as using friends and family(who are qualified for childrearing of course).
I feel like Im forgetting something. oh yes, snobs, arrogant and intolerant people will not be tolerated. police officers fall under both the category of arrogant and intolerant.
And as for religion, most religious persons fall under the category of arrogant and self righteous or simply snobs who believe they are better than everyone else because they know the truth. and this includes atheists. Don’t lie to me and tell me you don’t believe in anything! everyone believes in something, whether they know it or not. There will be no buildings reserved for religious services, the entire island will be a sanctuary for the sacred, no matter what it is you believe is sacred.
I think that’s everything. And as is in line with the very nature of the rules and regulations, they are to be subject to change at a whim.
Every citizen will be well taken care of! If you don’t like the rules, you have the right to leave. You will even be assisted in your efforts to leave.
I have a feeling you may not be allowed on your own island. 