Um, yeah...the Scorpion King, um...yeah

So, I saw this movie over the weekend, and I must say, I enjoyed it, but I’m not sure if I liked it. I was expecting a bit more Conan, but instead ended up with Xena, which ins’t necessarily a bad thing. I mean, I like Xena, it’s just, people flying hundreds of feet from a single arrow hit…I wasn’t expecting that.
Also, for those who have seen the movie and The Mummy Returns, is it just me, or did they completely rewrite his character? In Mummy he was supposed to be some terrifying warlord who laid waste to the lands in a quest to conquor the world, yet in this one, he essentially becomes “the people’s champion” (yeah, yeah, I know, bad joke, but they essentially spelled it out in once scene). Anyway, what did everyone else think?

Well, here in the prequel it is all about Anakin’s life before he became Darth Vader - how he was one of the greatest Jedi and how it all led to his eventual turning to the Dark Side.

We are talking about StarWars, right?


I agree completely. I didn’t pay much attention to the rest of the movie. Don’t think I missed much.

What a waste of $7.50 this was. I personally didn’t much care for it, however, the DH, young son and 2 teenage daughters really liked it. I got the drill all the way home. “You didn’t like it? Why didn’t you like it? You really didn’t like it?”

Previews for “Undercover Brother” looked funny, but I think I will wait for the video. I got all excited when the preview for “Star Wars” came up, but then I realized it was the same trailer I had downloaded a couple of months ago.

I saw it the day after you guys did, Elvis, and I thought… well, that was fun.

Today, though, I can barely remember a thing about it. I’m glad I saw it on the cheap.

And yeah, are we sure that was the same Scorpion King we saw in The Mummy Returns? I mean… jeez… let’s have it tie in in some way other than having the same name and actor.

Now, my opinion of the Scorpion King was that if you ignore all rules of physics, geography, and history, it’s a fun movie to watch. Lots of gratuitous violence. (not to mention the Rock, who is incredibly hot)

I didn’t see that much disparity between the King in this movie and the King in Mummy Returns – this is just talling the “epic adventure” or whatever of how he came to power. By the time the opening scene of Mummy Returns happens, something has changed – either he’s trying to take over everything in the name of “peace, goodness, and fluffy puppies,” or power has corrupted him. Or something. In Mummy Returns, he hooks up a deal with Anubis for vengeance on his enemies for his lost army, an action which doesn’t seem terribly out of character, since he was quite revenge-oriented in Scorpion King.

Incidentally, I could tell they tried to separate the character of the Scorpion King from the character of the Rock, but I saw a lot of classic wrestling moves going on in some of those fights. Backslams, post slams, the equivalent of the folding chair … I kept calling out for a Rock Bottom or a People’s Elbow.

So essentially, the Scorpion King is a mindless, fun movie, kinda like a cross between the “Indiana Jones” feel of the Mummy movies, and the “plot as a way to get from this fight scene to the next” feel of martial arts movies like The One. I liked it, but then again Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is on my hot list, so I’d see any ol’ movie with him in it.

High adventure, low comedy. I love 'em.

It’ll never be on my top 10 list, but it was a fun way to waste a couple of hours.

Silly me! I actually thought this movie might impart some insight about how the Scorpion King came to be the half-man-half-scorpion badass guy from the last Mummy movie. When that didn’t happen, I guessed we would be headed off into Sequal Land. Maybe more than one sequel.
Fortunately, I didn’t spend a dime on this piece of dreck; I went to a preview screening. The primary lure was The Rock, who melts my butter. The best thing about the movie, however, was the fact that it was short. No, I take that back: the white camel was a breakout star!
The ethnic diversity was amusing! The costumes were . . . um. . . unusual. And how did Gomorrah fit into pre-Pyramid Egypt? And what was with those Vikings at the beginning? Or were they Goths? Visi- or Ostra-? Color me confused!
What was I saying?. . .

Woohoo! I get to play the Message Board drinking game!

Drink when someone says:

“I go to movies to be entertained, I don’t expect art.”
“It was brainless fun.”
“You have to learn how to suspend your disbelief.”
“I never agree with the critics.”

Chug when someone mentions Citizen Kane or says, “I never read reviews because critics don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Wait for it…

Hey, they broke a number of cliches, at least…

  • The magic girl doesn’t lose her powers after getting laid (Another vote for HOT lady!),
  • The lady didn’t die saving her man from Certain Death (poison or the arrow),
  • The explosion didn’t bring the palace down in a heap of rubble,
  • The Sidekick didn’t die heroically,
  • The final scene didn’t predict ‘Happily Ever After’,
  • And weapons broke in use (not just the hero’s weapon, either).

Entertaining, but not worth renting later.

Oh, wait…! Kelly Hu is mostly naked through the whole film. I guess I’ll rent it after all. :smiley:

They covered that in The Mummy Returns. You know, lost army, revenge, pact with Anubis, etc, etc.?

I was quite amazed at how much of Kelly Hu they were able to show and avoid the R-rating. And how inventively they tried to cover the naughty parts. Kelly Hu was easily worth the price of matinee admission.

So, what else happened in the movie?