Unbelieveably, TV Reaches Yet Another New Low!

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Brian “Kato” Kaelin wants to play house guest again, and maybe with you. Kaelin has shot a pilot episode for a television series, “House Guest,” aimed at capitalizing on his fame as O.J. Simpson’s former live-in friend. “It’s a show where I go across America, I knock on doors of the unsuspecting and invite myself in to spend a weekend with the family,” Kaelin told Barbara Walters on ABC’s “20/20” Wednesday.

NO! NO NO NO! NO NO noNO NO! N-No! No-no! NO no NO NO Noooooo! No.

Thanks for the “heads up”, dear…I will bake a sweet potato pie today…by the time he gets around to MY door, it ought to be just about moldy enough to make the old pie in the face routine adequately icky. :smiley:

Wow, a real opportunity to use my matchlock! Oboyoboyoboy…

The sad thing is that if this show does make it to the air, several million people will sit down in front of their TV’s and watch it for an entire hour. Every week. That’s at least several million man-hours that could be better spent reading or learning or socializing or talking to your family or masturbating or cleaning up the house or staring at the wall or writing or listening to music or going to the grocery store.

I bet that if the show gets picked up, it’ll be by Fox. :smiley:

Great!
I can finally confirm my theory that OJ hid the knife in his hair & it was there thru the whole trial!

Video camera? $800.
Car to drive across America? $29,000
Capitalizing from the brutal murder of two innocent people? Priceless.

Oh I’d invite him in to stay the weekend. Then when he was asleep I’d tie him to the bed and then start beating him. I would beat him senseless but somebody has beat me to it.

Seems like the whole concept would get old pretty quick.

Oh look. I’m bored already.

Um, Mr Kaelin? Go back to doing whatever it was you did before you became a wanna-be whatever you are now.

Actually, I think it would be entertaining to watch the responses when Kato shows up on your doorstep unannounced.

Of course, there’s the possibility of freaking HIM out . . . Invite him in. Wait till about 11:30 at night. Bang REAL loud on the wall, curse, then leave a bloody glove in the hall. Arrange for your S.O. to lay on the front walk with ketchup splattered around him or her.

Watch Kato freak out and scream “No—not again! I won’t lie again! I won’t cover up for another mur . . . Ooop . . .”

[Destiny’s Child] When its’ really yes, yes, yes, yes, yes/
You say no, no, no, no, no/
When its’ really yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. [/DC]

You took the words right out of my mouth… literally.

As I was reading the OP (before I’d scrolled down even to your post), I was saying the above OUT LOUD.

“Hi, I’m Kato Kaelin. Can I stay at your house this weekend?”

“Shove off, asshole.” Slam!

[cut]

“Hi, I’m Kato Kaelin. Can I stay at your house this weekend?”

“Loser.” Slam!

[cut]

“Hi, I’m Kato Kaelin. Can I stay at your house this weekend?”

“Heh. Sure dude. Will you help me kill my girlfriend?”

[cut]

“Hi, I’m Kato Kaelin. Can I stay at your house this weekend?”

“Hey, Maggie, c’mere! This guy’s sportin’ a mullet!”

[cut]

“Hi, I’m Kato Kae–”

Slam!

[cut]

“Hi–”

BOOM!

[cut]

Camera shaking as the crew runs for the van

“I told you it was a bad idea to come to Texas.”

They could combine genres, and have him knock on the door of Frontier House. That might be fun.

Ah, for the good ol’ days, when ol’ Kato was known only for his soft-porn stardom.

On a related note, isn’t Afghanistan supposed to be hit by a swarm of locusts?

Actually, Eve, I sorta admire Kaelin in a perverse sort of way. I mean, here is a rube without any perceptible talent who played a role in the most notorious American crime in recent years and he actually cons supposedly sharp businesspeople into paying him money for what has to be the most stupid idea since the pet rock.

On a more serious note, I think this speaks volumes about the state of ethics in Hollywood. And, if this shit actually becomes a TV show, it will speak volumes about the American people.

Guinastasia: I guarantee you will get some good viewing if Kaelin & Co. show up on The Peyote Coyote’s doorstep. I keep a baseball bat next to the door, and I think most juries would acquit me for using it.

Is it possible for an entire genre to “jump the shark”? If so, I think “reality TV” just did it.