Unbelieveably, TV Reaches Yet Another New Low!

It could be worse. O.J. Simpson could be arriving on doorsteps for a visit.


I want Kato on my doorstep! I’ll drop Max the Demon Kitty on his head and close the door on his blood-curdling screams. That out to make "Real TV’. Headline segment, I’ll bet!

Hee hee!

Or maybe I’ll invite him in, sit him on the couch with a nice glass of water, then I’ll break out the laser pointer and indulge in what Ferrous describes as a “laser-guided claw attack”, courtesy of Max the Demon Kitty. Of course, I’d better put a placstic slipcover on the couch and stock-up on tournequets, first.

Hee hee hee…!

How long before he gets shot trying to make time with the teenage daughter of one of his “hosts”?

If Kato needs a place to stay so badly, why doesn’t he just go to Robert Blake’s house?


And meanwhile Rula Lenska can’t get a single producer to even return her calls. Where’s the justice I ask?

If he knocks on my door, I’ll go O.J. Simspon on his ass! :smiley:

I was hoping that this news would be the final sign of the Apocalypse, but I see that I was wrong.

Oh well, I’ll tell you all anyway.

Coming to ABC this May: That’s Incredible: The Reunion

Words truly fail me.

:::Cringing as he types::: Cite?

And I thought this thread was going to be about tonight’s Playboy special on Fox. I had it on for 10 minutes while I was online, before I left this evening. Those were some dumb girls.

Judging by the responses from this thread, they should re-tool the show as Beat Kato Kaelin with a Blunt Instrument. It’ll be bigger than *Survivor.

Even though you were asking WSLer for the cite, I decided I would hunt one down, mainly because I couldn’t believe that ABC would try digging up this dead chestnut for prime time consumption again.

But they are.

I saw on the tv guide-like thing he was on the show that night, and I also saw some other people I didn’t want to see. Wasn’t Donna Rice on too?? WTF?

And Rula Lenska, where for art thou??

What are y’all complaining about? This concept is brilliant! I’d watch it.

I wouldn’t let Kato stay with me, of course, but I’d watch it.

For the love of everything that is decent and good, why the hell can’t Kato Kaelin just go AWAY already!!


As long as Kato is the one making money on this, and not OJ, I’m all for it (especially the ‘blunt instruments’ part).

Blunt instruments? Like saxophones?

Or an upright bass? He’d probably have to be sedated for that, though. I’d imagine it takes a pretty broad windup to get a good swing going with one of those, and we don’t want him in any shape to dodge.

Miller’s idea is pretty much an update of Bill Hicks’ proposal for a show called Let’s Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus. Except in this case, Kato would come to you. So you wouldn’t be all tired from the hunting part, and could devote all your energy to the savage beating.

::pulls chair up to the front door and starts to clean his scattergun::

Bring it on, bubba.

Did you see the program that was advertised underneath it? Apparently some wingnut is going to starve himself for about a week, then go stand on top of a 10 story pole in a park in NYC for 35 hours before jumping off on to a pile of cardboard boxes. (Uh, yeah, real death-defying there, pal, since that’s what Hollywood stuntmen use to cushion their falls sometimes. Try it without the boxes and I’ll watch.) Crap, even the gladiator shows Rome had were better than this tripe.

Ahhh yes, the asshole otherwise known as David Blaine whose fame rests largely on the fact that he used to bang Fiona Apple (shudder) and that he was a member of Leonardo DiCaprio’s “Pussy Posse.”

Yeah, those are 2 accomplishments to put on the resume…

Anyway, he is supposedly the “greatest street musician in the world,” which doesn’t mean dick to me, but entranced the netweoks enough to deliver large sums of cash to his doorstep in exchange for him “performing” some REALLY boring magic tricks the emphasis being more on the trick, then on magic.

Perhaps he will misjudge his jump and end up paralyzed.

Ya have to have a dream.

Yeah scoff if you want to but just remember… no one thought The Ozzy Osbourne show would be the #1 rated cable show either.