I have four nieces–no, scratch that, I forgot about my brother’s baby. I have five nieces and one nephew; the baby is eight months old, while the others range from 15 to 30 years old. The niece about to turn 22 is my favorite and always has been. “Jessie” is smart, smart-mouthed, gleefully geeky, likes to bake, and at the age of 12 once asked to borrow my rock collection, explaining that “I’m looking for dinosaur DNA for a cloning experiment, and you’ll be able to tell if I’m successful by the screams of people getting trampled by hadrosaurs.” At an extended-family event this past weekend, my drama-seeking sister got in a huff over the fact that, when clearing out some stuff from storage, I’d given Jessie my old telescope, a very nice mixer, and a box of redundant books without also giving gifts to the other kids (in particular her daughter, who doesn’t bake, doesn’t read, and has no interest in science or math). I ignored my sister because she’s nuts and I was already resisting the urge to strangle her, but her rant did get me to wondering whether anybody rational is of the opinion that aunts and uncles should not play favorites among their nieces and nephews (assuming, of course, that they’re not raising said kids). Hence this thread.
Poll in a moment, but don’t let that slow you down. If you feel the need to tell us how awesome your favorite niece or nephew is, knock yourself out.
My niece Maddie (Madison is her real name) is my favorite, by far. She is just a refreshing and down to earth, and more than a little bit of a tomboy. She is an independent spirit, but not in a problem causing way, just in a way that comes off as incredibly mature for a 12 year old.
She also adores her favorite Uncle (me) which only adds to her status.
I have two nephews, ages 5 and 6. Both are cute blond boys, cousins to each other and have almost the same name. The older one is engaging, outgoing and dumb as a post. He’s fun but exhausting and unruly. The younger is smart as a tack and funny. He’s a good friend, makes me laugh, and it’s fascinating to watch his mind work.
I have two adult nephews, and currently dislike both of them due to how they treat my mother. My mom has dementia and, due to the accompanying paranoia, has done some things not so great. Both nephews have turned against her strongly. This, after she’s ruined her credit to help one and (in that act) couldn’t follow through on a promise my dead dad made to the other. When one decided to have a “family meeting” - her against five people, and then told her to shut the fuck up? Yeah, that ended my relationship with them.
The older one is trying to reach out to me, and I will respond sporadically. The other wouldn’t even say hello to me when we ran into each other.
I don’t think we’ll ever reconcile, even after mom dies. There have been too many harsh words and bad feelings.
I’ve always been the good uncle with the great gifts for all my nieces and nephews. However, my youngest niece (my only sister’s only child) is my favorite of them all. Sis and I are really, really close so Katie (the niece) has been the source of more largesse than the others. Uncle swampy has spoiled her rotten.
Messed up the poll. You have two “It’s ok…” and I suspect you meant to add “It’s not ok…”
Anyway, right now I have 2 nieces and one is my favorite. But I keep telling myself it’s because one is 5 and one is 3 and they have different agendas. The 3 year old is silly and fun and says and does the silliest stuff without abandon. She’s fearless.
The 5 year old is contemplative and manipulative and not very independent. She’s testing people’s boundaries and can be a total stubborn bitch.
But those two right now they are just a product of their ages and their birth order. I think I of course like the one who is easier to trick and easier to make laugh, and the one who is clearly not saying “LOOK AT MEEEEEE!”
Maybe in a couple years I’ll hate both of them? Heh just kidding, I like them both a lot. I just gotta check myself more around the older one and remember to be nicer!
I think all of my nieces and nephews are great. They are all quite different and each have a variety of strengths and weaknesses. I’m glad I’m not their parent. I don’t get them gifts routinely, but am always happy to see them.
I have three (one set, by marriage), and right now I love them all equally. As they grow, I’m sure I’ll be closer to one or two, but it won’t change the fundamentals. I do think it’s fine to love them unequally, as long as you’re not a jerk about it.
As a nephew myself, I think my good aunt (paternal) clearly loves us all equally, even though she’s not related to me by blood. My bad aunt (maternal) clearly favors one niece-nephew pair, even over her own children, and truly hates me. This is mostly because she hates my mother, and it’s mostly ceased to bother me.
I have a half-dozen nieces & nephews. Two of them are assholes, the rest are just peachy. If I had to pick a favorite, it would likely be my sister’s son. My wife has five nieces, and I can easily pick a favorite there.
Sure, it’s fine to have a favorite; they’re just people like anybody else.
I have three nieces and I am definitely an ordered ranking of who I like most to least. It sounds awful, especially since they are all under the age of 10, but I just can’t help it.
I have 2 nieces, identical twins. Love them both, but one of them is clearly a mini-me in personality that it’s hard not to call her my favorite. But I’m very careful to treat them similarly with gifts and such - since I’m not local to them, that’s my primary interaction.
I also have the reverse going on. I don’t particularly care very much for any of my nieces and nephews but one of them has always been a little shit and still shows no sign of growing out of it. I dislike him in particular. I have a cousin who is the same age as my nieces/nephews so I treat her like one, and she is decidedly my favorite as she is polite, curious, and enthusiastic.
I only get them gifts for christmas/giftmas/yule and they all get gifts of equal value and relevant to their interests so I don’t actively treat any better than the others. I’m not in their lives too much outside of the holidays due to distance.
I already posted about my own nephews. On the subject in general…
I am my favorite aunt’s favorite niecephew(?). It was no big secret, either. She simultaneously treated my older brother with disdain all the time. It’s one thing to heap a little more love on that one’s plate while passing it around to them all, but it’s not OK to be so obvious that s/he is the only one you actually like.
Others have noted the influence of their relationship to the parent with that of the corresponding niecephew. I can see it affect my wife. From my more outside perspective, I just see how much the boys are their parents’ offspring. To me it’s humorous, but to her it’s, “Oh, god, he does the same stupid thing that his mother used to annoy me with when we were kids.”
I have 10 nieces/nephews. I have one niece who is a favorite. She’s hard-working and is trying to better herself without help from her mother. She is the beneficiary of most of my estate, since I have no kids. I’ve made the deal with her that she gets my farm and a “trust fund” for the animals when I die, as long as she agrees to care for the animals for the rest of their lives. I have another niece that I respect. She’s also smart and hardworking, but she’s had a lot of advantages my other niece hasn’t had. She’s 23 and already makes more than me, so she gets bupkis from my estate. Her parents will leave her very well provided-for. My other sister’s 4 girls are whiny and takers, expecting more from their parents than the parents could really afford. They can sink or swim on their own. My brother has 3 bio-sons and one stepson. They seem like polite kids. One is very smart. I don’t know them as well as the others.And my other nephew has some physical and mental issues. I love him dearly, but he’s lived off his (mooching) mother and has used his issues as an excuse not to work. I don’t have a lot of respect for that.
If I were to die tomorrow, my favorite niece would get my farm debt-free, an additional $20K for upgrades to the house which I haven’t done yet (electrical upgrade and central heat/air) and $20K for the animals’ care. That would leave about $80K in assets. I would do about $15K in charitable donations. The remaining $65K would be divided among my nieces and nephews. For those younger than 21, the money would be earmarked for college funds or held until they’re 25. For the one nephew who is lazy and blows his money, the money would be distributed at $2K up front, $1K per year until it’s gone. I should cut out the niece who is in great financial shape, simply because she won’t need the money, but I’d hate for her to feel unloved.
I have four nephews, and have made sure they all got presents (cash) every birthday. No, scratch that, my brother’s two didn’t get anything until their 18ths and then got a nice lump sum for their wheels (one has a motorbike, the other a car); my sister’s - both now in high school - two get smaller amounts every birthday. It works, somehow.
The eldest has just done a Master’s in International Law and is very smart, with an excellent brain. His younger, ‘cheekier’ brother is equally sharp but not so academically minded. The same goes for my sister’s (younger) boys who are both now attending a very good Grammar school: The eldest is more academic and the younger chap is less so, but has a surprisingly inquiring mind.
I love them all equally, and would put myself out for them as much as I would for my brother and sister.
I have three nieces and two nephews, and my niece Shelby is definitely my favorite. She’s smarter, funnier and more talented than her sister and didn’t marry an annoying idiot. The other niece is frankly useless. I don’t see the nephews very often.
