Drain Bead, no, I wasn’t a virgin when we got married. Sex was great until I had our first kid; maybe part of my resentment comes from the fact that my husband couldn’t wait the prescribed several weeks to resume our relations. He waited about 4 days, even though I had some major lacerations and several stitches. Since then, things haven’t been quite the same.
Despite what you might think, my husband isn’t a total jerk. He does do the foreplay thing (most of the time) and he tries very hard to please me.
Part of our problem is related to my husband’s insane jealousy. He was engaged once before and was cheated on; he’s still hung up on that. I’ve been accused of having an affair with everyone from the Orkin man to my husband’s dad to the next door neighbor to my best friend Jeni. My response is, “In ten years of marriage, I have never once even come close to cheating on you. How long will it take before you start to trust me?!?” He’s finally realized he’s a nutcase and has really been trying to adjust his attitude.
Jealousy is such a destructive emotion. I think marriages would be healthier and happier if a little infidelity was allowed and accepted.