Unfortunate Food Occurances

I am a foodie, a foodlover, ok, COMPULSIVE EATER. As I sit and eat this ‘quesadilla platter’, I am driven to indeed think of bad things that can happen to your food that you don’t know until you’re eating it. And I don’t mean “rottenness” or “mold” or “burnt to a crisp”. I mean casual, unfortunate, specific occurances.

A #1: Mealy apples. I mean, is there anything worse than biting into an apple and it’s kind of soft and old, and yellowy on the inside? Not rotten, but just a bad texture? GOD DAMN I hate a mealy apple.

  1. Underdone rice. Rice, should not be hard and crunchy like little nuts.

  2. Strong Chicken: I can’t explain this, except to say that sometimes a piece of chicken has a very strong taste. This is why I won’t buy Jewel brand Chicken, I’ve never had a strong Purdue chicken. If a chicken is strong, I can’t eat it.

  3. Potato salad that has that mustardy sweet taste even though it looks white. Dammit that pisses me off. Mayonnaise, salt, pepper, onion. THAT IS IT.

So what are some unfortunate food occurances that bother you?


Juiceless orange or tangerine segments are pretty gross.

Greek salads that are skimpy on the feta and olives and lack any stuffed grape leaves are disappointing to the point of being infuriating.

Iced tea that turns out to be presweetened is upsetting as well.

  1. Bitter cucumbers. And you can’t tell until you bite into one and need to wash your mouth out :stuck_out_tongue:
  2. Potato salad that is 50% peas.
  3. Too much mayo on ANYTHING.
  4. Sundried Tomato Alfredo sauce. Who invented that? Yick.
  5. My father eats cheese whiz and jam sandwiches. It’s intentional and that makes it far far worse.
  6. Cherry tomatoes that are just a lil bit overripe and taste like they’re starting to rot.
  7. Insects in any of your food. Pea worms, corn borers, grubs in taters, ew. This organic stuff is supposed to be good for you, right?
  8. Globules of fat in reheated meat (esp. roasted pork)
  9. Identifying vascular structures in oh, say, ham. Is that a vein hanging out of your mouth? :eek:

Something totally O/T but still enough to make you lose your appetite: being served in a fast food joint, having a salad or something put together and given to you by an employee who you then notice A. Doesn’t have gloves on and B. has a severe rash, impetego(sp?) or some other affliction all over their hands. (If it was an allergic reaction to the latex in gloves, I feel sorry for her, but it was very gross and I am NOT normally a squemish person.)

mmmm quesadilla. sour cream. guacamole. Yum?


Why was it invented? Does anybody actually eat the stuff?

Unidentifiable gristly bits in stews.
And other things that crunch when they shouldn’t.
When people insist on using hard-shell tacoes, I hate the ones that disintegrate when you bite into them. Exactly how does that enhance my eating experience, hmmm???
People who think that hot sauce is a vegetable. Likewise people who think spice of any kind is a sin (what, am I eating hospital food here?).

Thoroughly parched and craving an ice cold Coca-Cola…only to take one long sip and discover it’s DR. PEPPER!!! Quite a jarring experience.

Wilted lettuce or slimy tomatoes on any warm sandwich combination is also an unfortunate happenstance.

what about thoroughly craving a Coca Cola, only to take a long swig and find out…that it’s totally gone flat.


I putter in the back yard with clippers and a glass of wine some evenings. Okay, every evening. Left unattended, you could clean a camel colon with the roughage of mosquito bodies attracted to a single glass.

Fuzzy cheese.

Never make a sandwich in the dark with “older” bread.

My Coors light with someone else’s cigarette ash… SSSsspppwwwwaarrrkkk!!!

Lumpy milk.

And the worst? Who the f*ck decided to make Coke the same color as what’s in a dipcup? Never again will I touch a soda that’s not cumming with extra ice.

“Jello leather”. You know, that quasi-solidifed stuff you find in improperly-gelled Jello? It’s sort of the consistency of one of those Fruit Roll-Up things, but thicker and far more willy-inducing.

I bought some chicken from a deli a couple months back, and it tasted…odd. Sort of fishy, which on fish isn’t bad, but on chicken, it was just gross.

Looking forward to making that nice big sammich on Saturday afternoon, and going to the refrigerator only to discover that your lunch meat is slimy. Damn!

Ditto on the dry oranges.

Mushy baker potatoes.

Undercooked beans. Bean shells should NOT be gritty.

Skunked beer.

jarbabyj, I don’t understand the strong chicken. Are you saying that the chicken is tough and chewy, as some sort of result from the chicken working out, or that the chicken has a strong taste/smell, like it’s been getting doses of testosterone?

Fake cream cheese. You know, the “spreadable” stuff that comes in little tubs. The Whiz of Cream Cheese. Whoever decided that the stuff tastes anything like cream cheese has no taste buds.

What’s worse is Fake Bagels. I’m somewhat of an expert on this topic, as my company provides free bagels and cream cheese to us on Fridays. Purchasing them is up to the receptionist of the day - a temp who has to pick them up on her way to work. Sometimes we get lovely, wonderful temps who stop at the local bagel bakery and purchase real bagels and real cream cheese. Most of the time, though, they stop at the grocery store and buy round pieces of bread with holes in the middle mislabeled as bagels, and several “flavors” of fake cream cheese. How 'bout cream cheese flavored cream cheese? Y’know, like the stuff that comes in the little silver boxes, or better yet, the stuff that the bagel places provide? Please?

Fake cream cheese on a fake bagel. What is this world coming to?

I hope you don’t mind my sharing my two unfortunate occurances because this is what I thought it was going to be originally.

  1. A Svenhard’s Swedish danish with a fingernail in it. And it wasn’t mine.

  2. Eating at IHOP’s and I had a spaghetti noodle in my pancakes.

These type of experiences really ruin your day. Needless to say I have had neither one of these items again.

Not that horrible, but I hate pizza that has too much sauce. I’m not a huge fan of sauce to begin with, and when my cheese is neglected for the sauce, I’m terribly upset.

Cold, greasy bacon (or any meat, really). Ew. I don’t need to see what I’m clogging my arteries with, honest. Same applies to non-reheated leftovers. Glugh.

Mushy cucumbers. They’re not bitter, but they bend instead of biting off crisply. Mostly happens when you leave them in a lunchbox for hours. Ugh.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that have been sitting out for a while. The jelly’s okay, but the peanut butter? The texture’s all weird and gross.

My family says I’m too picky. I don’t think so.

I don’t anything can beat underripe persimmon.

It fills your mouth with a dry, gritty feel that takes hours to erase.

Getting something “vegetarian” in a restaurant…and finding random pieces of meat in it. Yeccch. (and yes, I’ve worked food service before—hence the quotes around vegetarian).

On a related note, as a child I once began to brush my teeth and had a rude awakening when I discovered I had used my father’s shaving-cream-in-a-tube rather than toothpaste.

biting into one of those weiner-shaped doughnuts expecting yummy white cream (can you say freudian?) and getting that slimy custard crap instead. Bleeeaaahhh!

When I was young and innocent, we had Thanksgiving at my Aunt’s home. That evening, my cousin David made me a turkey sandwich. “Do you like mayonnaise?,” he asked, and I replied that I did, so he slathered it on… but it WASN’T mayonnaise, it was sweet, slimy, disgusting Miracle Whip. (Ugh.)

Another young and innocent time, during my first year at school, I thought that they were serving spiced apples with lunch (a favorite of mine.) That was the one and only time I have ever tasted beets.

Older and not so innocent, (and this time not the victim): When my husband and I were dating, we attended the wedding reception for a friend of his. Going through the buffet line, he served himself a slice of roast beef, and then put a large dollop of horseradish on his plate. We hadn’t been dating all that long, so I didn’t know his taste in foods that well then. I was sort of surprised, though, when I saw him take an entire forkful of the stuff and put it in his mouth. He was surprised, too — he had thought it was slaw. (He didn’t have sinus problems for months, however.)

Mistaken Identity Food Item - When I was dating my husband in high school he took me out to dinner to a fancy restaurant the night of homecoming trying to impress me. When he ordered dinner he ordered scallops thinking they were scalloped potatoes. He was really embarassed when they brought a seafood dish to him because he hates seafood and wouldn’t eat it. I can still make him embarassed reminding him of that one.

I don’t anything can beat underripe persimmon.

It fills your mouth with a dry, gritty feel that takes hours to erase.

Rotten pistachio