In this thread about the TV show Worst Cooks in America, I tell of possibly the worst cook I have ever met in my life. I watched her chop an onion, mix it with ketchup and then pour that on boiled spaghetti. She then served it to her children. I declined a bowl. Let’s show the people at Food Network there is no need for ringers. What was the very worst thing ever presented to you as a cooked meal?
A very good, very old friend fancies himself a good cook. My wife and I visited him the night before a party he was throwing the next day and he showed off some stew he was preparing. Great huge pot of it. Smelled good. We arrived the next day to find the very same pot in exactly the same spot on the stove. He said it sat there all night (too big to put in the fridge) and he was just warming it up. We passed on having any and we watched in horror as all the guests were filling their bowls. Images of imminent event of violent projectile vomit and worse came to us as we stuck to the fresh vegetables and cheese plate.
Fricasseed rat.
Some of my colleagues from the University of Auckland were doing research on Polynesian rats and they were trapping them in field study on the island we were working on. Since the Maori used to consider rat a favorite food, they decided to fry up some of the carcasses and try them out.
I tried some. No, not all weird foods “taste like chicken.” They tasted exactly like rat.
(Other rodents I’ve tried have been quite tasty however, including Guinea Pig and Paca.)
I remember going to a vegan friend’s house. She was trying a new recipe for quinoa chili. It was my first time having quinoa and what I got was a watery, flavorless, mushy stew of quinoa and unidentifiable vegetables. Some of them, may have been peppers. My friend was so proud that I didn’t have the heart to turn down seconds. My acting must have been top notch because Mrs. Charming and Rested asked me later how it was possible that I enjoyed it.
You do know that not all un refridgerated food goes off right away? Was it in a particularly hot climate? Was it chicken? Even on that, it will day a fair bit of time for cooked food to get to the state of food poisoning. Reheating will often remove such germs too.
The nastiest thing I have ever had in my mouth was Turkey a la King. I was a really picky eater as a child (now I’m simply “discerning” :p) and my mom was trying to get me to try more foods. I had only just agreed to give milk a chance and I finally got to like it. But I digress. She must have been flushed with that success because she somehow thought it was a surefire bet that I would like what looked like vomit on toast and didn’t smell much better. I don’t even know why I went along with it. She was just being so nice about it (very rare) and I guess I was trying to prove I wasn’t a baby. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE SENSATION OF THAT CREAMY / CHUNKY GLOP IN MY MOUTH. I don’t know how I managed to make myself swallow it - I do remember it almost coming right back up immediately thereafter.
Not sure if this is the kind of thing the OP is asking for, but I will take fricasseed rat in a pool of quinoa chili that has been left out of the fridge all night to the pure, unadulterated *evil *that is turkey a la king.
I remember visiting a cousin of mine with my mom and brother in the monastery in Poland when I was about 12. We were presented some sort of soup for lunch with a number of dead insects/larva/whatnot in it, presumably from the vegetables they were cooked with. (I think it was cauliflower soup. And I don’t think it was an intentional inclusion.) At any rate, we all ate our bowl without a peep, so as to not offend our host, but we did talk about it later amongst ourselves.
Still better than turkey a la king 
I make chicken a la king every so often, and I can’t really see turkey being that much worse. Of course, it depends on the cook. I like the stuff.
I had a girlfriend ages ago who’s Grandmother was a little loopy. So we go over to her house for Thanksgiving and it was just bizarre. She made a turkey ans stuffed it with what I ca only guess was every can she hsd in the cupboard that she was planning to throw away - corn, green beans, sauerkraut…
But the kicker was her special dish of “Chinese noodled with cheese” which was literally a big bowl of thin glass noodles with a brick of Velveeta melted into it.
My mother was a horrible cook, and we siblings agree that she had several utterly loathsome dishes she thought of as fancy enough for company. The worst probably was filet of sole with green grapes. Imagine a thin grayish fish-flavored sauce covering the tasteless fish, which was decorated with boiled seedless grapes. That’s it. Served with instant rice.
Boiling doesn’t improve grapes.
My brother used to cook his hamburgers in the microwave.
With all due respect, I don’t think you’re going to one-up anybody else if the worst thing you’ve ever eaten is turkey a la king.
Now rat alfredo, maybe…
….I’d eat it.
My in-laws (who live with us) do this. They’ll keep pots of soup on the stove for a couple of days at a time like that, just reheating it whenever they want to serve it. I hate it and beg them to put it in the refrigerator, but they say they’ve done it that way their entire lives and it’s never gotten anyone sick so they’re not going to change now.
I’d eat it without a second’s hesitation as long as my nose said it was still good.
I’m a bit more careful in the summertime but yeah, I am quite casual about refrigeration, and have never gotten ill from it. I’ve gotten sick from restaurant meals but not my own.
I’m careful about milk though. Having a home dairy will do that to you.
A couple of contenders:
When I was posted to embassy Lisbon as the facilities manager, my crew of locals asked me to their lunch room to celebrate for the new year. They had a wine that was apparently brewed yesterday in someone’s sink, and that likely removed some enamel from my teeth. Hey, I’ve had worse. But they also prepared a traditional stew called cozido, which contains boiled meats and vegetables. That doesn’t sound so bad, but it really, really matters just what sort of meat is in it.
At its heart, this is a peasant dish, and it honestly looked like someone dumped pig parts in a blender. There were actually feet and ears in there and giant globs of fat. Because of a traumatic childhood incident, I can’t eat fat, and it makes me gag to see others wolf it down. I started feeling nauseated as soon as my plate was plunked down in front of me, not to mention feeling trapped in a situation from which it would be difficult to extricate myself, since I was sort of a guest of honor. Between the coarseness of the wine and the smell and sight of the food, my nausea became worse and I felt a vicious alcohol headache coming on.
I managed to get some veggies down the hatch, but the capper for me was when I saw one of the locals gnawing on a pig’s ear. I mumbled something about having a headache and bolted for the door. I know they were insulted, but I’m sure it would have been worse had I vomited on the table.
The other one that comes to mind was my farewell lunch when I was posted to embassy Bamako. Mutton is the meat of choice there, but again, it’s very fatty. It sat out in the blistering heat for some time before everyone gathered to eat, and it had been liberally sampled by flies that were still all over it. Luckily, everyone was chowing down and not paying any attention to me as I covered my plate with a paper towel. I break out in a sweat every time I think of it.
Yep. It was chicken.
Not necessarily poorly prepared (although how would I know), but a during stroll through a Night Market in Beijing I saw many cooked snacks that I wish I could unsee. The crispy giant caterpillars on a stick (the damned things had to be 6-8 inches long) were particularly memorable.
Maybe if they were lightly coated with lark’s vomit and enrobed in the finest Belgian chocolate…