I’m proofreading articles that we are currently uploading to our website to make our employee handbooks easier to access online.
In reading our handbook for California employees, I find that “[The Company] will provide reasonable unpaid break periods, for the purpose of expressing breast milk to female employees who breastfeed.”
I can’t imagine we get a lot of employees who take advantage of that offer. Most awkward break room scene ever…
Relax. Just an expression.
An expressing expression for expressers.
What about those of us who want to express our outrage? Are there breaks for us, too? :dubious:
And will the staff room start serving espresso?
All while drinking espresso, I presume…
If there are several women waiting for space in the break room, do they form an express line?
Is this the express train to Hell?
wait -
is that a new vending machine?
Shouldnt it be more like
**Why unpaid? is this something that female employees expect to get paid for? is this the same as “unpaid breaks” to piss?
What about male employees who want to express breast milk? This is sexist!
(Several years ago, I was proofreading company policy, and ran across the uber-gender-neutral phrase, “pregnant people”. After laughing my tush off, I suggested that no one would think it sexist if “people” were changed to “women”.)
I believe that there have been pregnant transgender men.
True, but they were past the point of being expressive.
It’s the expressing breast milk to only female employees I found discriminatory. If we had a male employee who enjoyed breast feeding, would we not give unpaid time to someone who wanted to express milk to him?
Still I’d prefer they do it discreetly and not at the employee lunch table (as logical as that might seem).
Insert ‘phrasing’ meme here.
For those playing around with puns on “express yourself”, you should know that the breastfeeding community has been using those puns themselves for many years. Example:
http://www.fitpregnancy.com/baby/breastfeeding/express-yourself-basics-pumping-breast-milk-your-baby
Regarding OP, I don’t find that “awkward”. It seems enlightened to me. All you need is some creativity in taking advantage of this policy.
To clarify, in case anyone doesn’t get the joke: I applaud our (legally mandated) policy on providing time and facilities for nursing mothers to express milk. I bemoan the misplaced comma which makes the policy sound at best, ambiguous and at worst, kind of skeevy.
I know one such. I don’t know how extensively he was living as a man while he was pregnant, but he had started the process of transitioning on some level.
Obviously not a well-designed policy.
After all, given how much an adult female eats, it seems there wouldn’t be a lot of breast milk left over for the actual infants.
It takes a long time for many women to pump breast milk. It varies by woman and situation but it takes a whole lot longer to pump than for any normal restroom necessities. I suppose they don’t want lactating women to expect to be paid if they take 20 - 30 minutes to pump in a dedicated room especially if they are hourly employees.
Fun facts:
Even biological men can lactate under certain circumstances. Male and female breasts are fundamentally the same. Men have milk ducts and some mammary tissue. It is the hormones oxytocin and prolactin that primarily control milk production in females but men have some of those too. You can artificially induce milk production in males by administering the right doses of hormone supplements but a few men have demonstrated the capability to lactate naturally because of medical conditions or, more rarely, on purpose when the mother couldn’t produce milk of her own.
Breast milk doesn’t just get secreted from the tip of the nipple like it does with artificial bottle nimples. It comes out of the entire areola in little drops. I swear I had no idea it worked that way until I was already a proud father.
No, you’ve got it backwards. Since it doesn’t explicitly state it, one can only assume you get paid time off if one expresses breast milk to a male employee.
Talk about great benefits, I don’t get BOOBS at my job. 