Yeah, I was talking about tobacco juice spit.
And it’s not simply the physical reaction - I agree that tobacco juice is an almost universal emetic - it’s an emotional judgment on my part. Of course this assumes, as in the situation I saw, that it was the spitter’s own spit can. If it were someone else’s spit… that would be worse than the roaches.
Ugh. I used to have to clean those spit cups out of the cupholders at work. It’s bad enough when their aim is perfect, but when it isn’t…
It’s amazing what people will leave inside a theater just because nobody’s watching.
I was drinking a can of Sprite on a hot day (in Williamsburg, VA IIRC). I set it down for a while, then grabbed it for another sip. I bit on something strange, and quickly spit it out - it was a wasp that had crawled into the can seeking something sweet. Fortunately, I crunched him before he could sting me. But neither the consistency nor the taste were much fun.
My husband loves to remind me of one of the first times he ever took me to Denny’s here in Seattle - indeed, the first one I’d ever been to in my life. We had a hankering for some breakfast, and it was cheap and convenient (ugh, and oh so unhealthy!).
Anyway, when my pancakes had arrived, they set a little white tub of a whipped, creamy substance next to it. Where I’m from, this is usually a little tub of whipped cream - hey, we like our sweet stuff. Whipped cream on fruit-filled pancakes? Of course!
“Oh, I love this stuff!” I say to my husband, and he watches in horror, everything happening too fast as I take a gleeful spoonful and shovel a glob of it into my mouth.
Yeah, no. That wasn’t whipped cream. It was freaking butter.
glurg
He says the look on my face was priceless. Me, I get a tic just thinking about it.
This is what my nightmares are made of.
phobic
I was eating some Cinnamon Sugar Pita chips a few months ago. I went to toss one in my mouth and didn’t realize until after, that I had grabbed a french onion Pita Chip. Thought I was getting sweet and got savory. Blarph. I still can’t eat them.
It’s like thinking your getting a gulp of cold soda and winding up with a mouthful of warm milk.
So there I am, eleven years old, at a friend’s birthday party. They’re having an auction-themed party, which is not nearly as dumb as it sounds- you get points for doing well in the party games and then use the points to buy the prizes, which is a ton of fun. Unbeknownst to me, there’s a thousand point bonus for finding the cotton ball in your slice of cake.
And it’s in my slice, and I have no idea. His mom has worked so hard to cook, something I know she doesn’t do often, and there’s this thing in my cake. It’s kinda tough and chewy and tasteless, and it won’t come apart no matter how I chew. In fact, the more I chew, the harder and denser it gets, until it’s like a rock. And I can’t spit it out at the table, because I don’t want to offend his mom. I eventually get it down to about the size and consistency of a marble and swallow the thing whole. Ick.
Wine cooler left unattended for a few moments - came back and took a swig without looking. I felt his feet on my lip right before he stung me - on the inside of my upper lip.
I was swollen up to my eyes.
Damned yellow jacket.
When I was about 8 or 9, I was eating a sandwich while feeding our pet axolotyls. I was distracted and accidentally ate a mouthful of dried tubifex worms instead.
Well how did they taste?
What’s with the unfinished stories? What’d the mom do/say? Did you get the points?
As a little kid, I liked the taste of the juice in the pickle jar. One day I snuck in to drink from the pickle jar but didn’t realize that I’d grabbed the HOT PEPPER jar and took a big swig of that instead.
Ouch as well as heave.
Dietrich drank his.
[ obscure Barney Miller reference ]
I love that bit from the TV show Roseanne: Dan grabs a carton of milk from the fridge, takes a swig and then has convulsions all over the kitchen because the milk has soured. After the spasms subside, with a weak and trembling hand he puts the milk back in the fridge and walks away.
The wasp stories scare me. My nephew, when a young boy, was once bit in the inside of his mouth by a wasp that had crawled inside his sandwich on a picnic. I’m glad I wasn’t there to see that.
My story: once, as a young IT guy having to work on the week-end, I decide to commit a crime and steal some leftover pizza from the company refrigerator since no one was around to watch me. I start gobbling it down, but after the third mouthful I realize that this has a funny taste - and what are all those white spots? Not parmesan cheese, maybe, but (gasp) mold?!?! Lesson learned - never steal someone’s lunch from the common area!
At a catered company christmas party, next to the roastbeef, there is a small dish of mashed potatoes. Well, I think to myself, there’s no way that this small dish has enough mashed potatoes for everyone, so I had better take enough now. I get back to my seat and take a big bite of those mashed potatoes - which were actually horseradish.
I do remember once taking a swig out of the orange juice container in the fridge, not realizing just how long it had been since I’d bought orange juice. I took a gulp before the sensation in my mouth hit me: it’s fizzy. Orange juice is not supposed to be fizzy! Bleah! Argh! Ptui!
I was at a buffet where a family member of a family member brought back a plate of strawberries and tapioca pudding. She raved about what a great combination it was. She took a huge bite of a large strawberry loaded with tapioca pudding and made the best face I’ve ever seen.
The “tapioca pudding” was tartar sauce.
This is why I always drink from soda cans through a straw.
Or rather, this is why I will, from now on, be extra doubly certain to make sure to drink from a soda can through a straw.
When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I wandered into the kitchen where my mom was cooking something. I asked her for a snack, but she said no because she didn’t want me to spoil my dinner. While she wasn’t looking, I snagged a piece of cheese that she just finished cutting and stuffed it in my mouth.
It wasn’t cheese. It was butter. It actually didn’t taste bad (it’s butter - what’s not to like?), but the shock was enough to make to puke all over the floor. So much for no spoiling my dinner.
This one happened to a friend, but I heard all about it. We had a big keg party one night while I was in college, and we ended up with some beer left in our last keg when the party was over. Not wanting to waste it, I grabbed an empty container of apple juice and filled it up with the last of the keg and tossed it in the fridge.
The next morning, my friend woke up hungover and incredibly thirsty. He opened the fridge, saw a big bottle of apple juice, and started gulping it straight from the bottle. It took him a couple swallows before his brain kicked in and noticed something was wrong. Then he projectile vomited all over the kitchen and inside the fridge. Getting cold flat beer when your body is expecting apple juice is quite a shock, apparently.
My stepdad once made me pizza with taco sauce instead of marinara.
I started eating a box of raisins before noticing it had worms…