Unintentionally funny music videos

Cafe Society
1

I’ve been recording VH1 Classic during the day to get all of my favorite music videos. I’ve recorded quite a few so, lately, I end up fast forwarding through most of what I’ve recorded.

Once in a while I’ll catch a video i’ve never seen before. I caught one recently that is so bad, only the MST3K crew could love it.

It’s “Centipede” by Rebbie Jackson (yes, Michael’s older sister).

Lyrics (turn on your pop-up & Flash blocker !!!)

Here’s the chorus:

Then there’s this bit of peotry:

It was written by Michael (he also sings back up).

In the video, we see patrons in an art museum. There’s a hideous painting of Rebbie on a winding staircase lined with a bunch of guys in tuxes. When everyone is gone, Rebbie materializes and starts to do something that some might call dancing. I think she might have her underwear on too tight.

While she sings she makes faces like she hasn’t had a decent bowel movement since “ABC” was a hit.

The tux guys are doing badly choreographed moves that consist mainly of waving their hands at Miss Jackson as she moves throughout the museum.

A centipede is shown a couple of times, but Rebbie turns into a tiger for some unknown reason. She also can make things glow by touching them and shoots electricity from her fingers (the song came out in 1984, so maybe the director had a thing for the Emperor from Jedi).

There’s also a mechanical cobra with blinking eyes on a pool table.

At the end of the video, a security guy looks at the painting and, ooooohhhhhh, Rebbie is missing from the painting and is now standing next to him. She zaps him and he is enveloped in a white cloud pretending to be paralyzed.

Rebbie goes, uh, dancing, down the hall.

Talent does NOT run all the way through the Jackson family.

2

:smiley: I think your description is probably funnier than the video! I think VH1 should do a “worst videos of all time” show–that would be very entertaining.

I didn’t even know Michael had an older sister. I guess they’ve been hiding her.

3

Remember that Nelson video for After the Rain? Abused child meets wise old Indian who takes him to a Nelson concert? That’s just what immediately came to mind. :wink:

They do every so often do a “bad songs” or “bad videos” show. Don Johnson’s Heartbeat is always in there somewhere.

4

MTV did a “videos so bad you’ll never see them on MTV again” show a couple years ago. Hosted by Chris Kattan, Janeanne Garofalo and Dennis Leary. Memorable moments included The Artist Formerly Known as Vanilla Ice beating the shit out of the set while smashing a tape of “Ice Ice Baby.” The only other video I recall is “Rico Suave.”

5

Oh, and yes, “Heartbeat” was in there as well.

6

But “Heartbeat” had Dweezil Zappa!

And Paul Shaffer!

7

Scandal has a pair: Goodbye To You is a cheesy homeade video with um, somewhat less than dazzling special effects. The Warrior is just plain stupid.

Pat Benatar’s Love Is A Battlefield, while otherwise fairly decent, features a street confrontation resulting in silly dance moves.

I think if you look at a lot of the very early MTV videos, they’d probably qualify.

8

I see your Rebbie Jackson and raise you one Billy Squier writhing around in a hot pink muscle shirt! :smiley: