The Sloths just moved in, eh?
Blucher!
There was an awesomely wierd electronic billboard in the front window of a butcher’s shop in my city (Toronto, on Eglinton, quite a bit west of EW station).
This place always had scrolling ads for the various gross delicacies - like “Burnt Hog Faces - $3.99/pound; Chicken’s feet - $8/pound; Intestines: $2.99’pound”, that kind of thing.
One day, in among these ads, was a new entry:
“High School Kids Wanted”
I assume they meant “… for part-time jobs in the shop”. But it didn’t actually say that. :eek:
I used to drive past a tiny hole-in-the-wall Beauty Shop (Hair Care, whatever they’re called) that had this large cheapo sign:
“We specialize in Women’s and Men’s hairstyles.”
Well, I guess that could be to exclude children’s cuts, but… yeah.
Brought to mind another fave, a small shop attached to a big dry cleaner’s:
CHRISTINE’S MEN AND WOMEN ALTERATION SHOP
This whole thread is a testament to why I really hate sign shops, but I already decided to spare you all a full-length pitting.
(Micro-pit extract: Buying the machines and taking a two-day training course in how to run them does not make one a design or language genius… but that’s just for them fancy people anyway.)
Internets Pizza Hut…
Big D inner Box.
On the very same stretch of Eglinton as the butcher shop I noted above, there is a Beauty Shop called something like “Amorphous Hair Design”. 
I’ve lost track of businesses I wanted to go in and tell, “You keep using that word…” in my best Inigo Montoya accent.
There was a muffler shop in Burnaby (next door to Vancouver) with the sign, that was up for about ten years:
FREE MUFF INSPECTION
A sign on a Vancouver Brake and Wheel shop (for one night only):
WE COCK ALL SLUTS
And on a Dairy Queen in Calgary, during Calgary Stampede:
DOPE ON PARADE DAY - MDA - MARAYAN
I’ve told this before but I loved the sign of the sketchy looking motel in Sarasota that for several years used to advertise “WELCOME - LOW RAT S”.
I was buying hot dogs yesterday and a display of Armour Lunch Makers caught my eye. It featured a campaign to “Stomp out bullying”. I thought that was kind of insensitive. What’s next, Armour? “Punch out domestic violence”?
Our local Chinese restaurant has a hand-lettered sign in the window now: “Closed every Monday of the Week.”
Not just some Mondays. Every Monday.
nationalsafeplace.org is a non - profit created to help troubled teens.
The sign they originally developed was rather creepy. It looked like an adult molesting a child inside a phallic looking house.
ETA: Thankfully, they have redesigned their sign.
I never saw that one, but I do recall snickering at the big building in Vancouver with the huge
fag
on the side. (Farbenindustrie a.g.)
One sign they had in my parent’s neighbourhood: “Beware of Elderly Pedestrians!”.
It always brought to my mind a Monty Pythonesque scenario of being chased down the street by gangs of vicious Elderly Pedestrians. :eek:
I always say that I’m not in the market for a garage whenever I see a GARAGE SALE sign.
Well, barbecued baby is a very expensive delicacy in certain haute cuisine circles.
When I lived in Berkeley, late 1970’s, there was a little hole-in-the-wall Chinese-sort-of eatery called The Hunger Pang. It was run by a little old Chinese guy who spoke a little bit of English. (And it was actually pretty good stuff.)
One day I happened to notice his business license on the wall. I found out the guy’s name was actually Pang.
On the freeway in Oakland, for years and years there was a sign on the side of a warehouse-looking building that said,
STOP CASTING POROSITY
I never understood what that meant and why we were supposed to stop it.
It was probably an ad for an industrial process, like this.