Inspired by this XKCD cartoon, how would you (ab)use the SUDO command if it worked on people?
SUDO Boss stop being a jerk
SUDO give me a raise
SUDO old job hire me back
I’m more of a unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; fsck; yes; yes; umount; sleep guy, myself.
Ah. Software EXchange. 
Gotta keep your virus protection up-to-date for that one.
I prefer this one. Keeps me from getting angry at people and doing thing I’ll regret.
(Sadly, I just went there and kept hitting “Random” until I found this one. Took 48 tries.)
There’s nothing sad about reading 48 xkcd strips! When I discovered it, I read it straight through and only discovered that there’s mouseover text after I was almost up to date, so I went back to the beginning. Good times.
SUDO Kids do your homework
SUDO Stop poking your sister
SUDO Make your own damn dinner
SUDO Fix me a drink
You owe Steve Ballmer 10 dollars.