Unrequited Real-Life Crushes [reveal your woes]

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In the spirit of the other thread which I can’t remember right now [it’s 3am in the morning, must…sleep], this here be a thread devoted to those crushes you have on someone in real life.

Confess your lust for the mailman who makes you quiver when he shoves his letters in your mailbox. Or that priest you have your eye on who makes you think of the evilly sinful things you’d do to him in the confessional booth.
Anything along those lines.

ahem

GENEVIEVEEE!
Oh how I lust for you, you with your cute little pixie hair cut, your big blue eyes and pouty lips.
How you shun me at school when I’m perving on you from across the room.

You, you, YOU with your strangely artistic painting of someone hiding under the stairs…oh how I want you. If only you’d stop giving me the cold shoulder, we could be so good together…

le sigh

2

There’s a local actor I’ve always had a crush on, but he’s married, and what’s worse, his wife is a really great person. And a damned attractive volunteer firefighter (again, married).

If I were the type to go grazing in someone else’s pasture, but that’s just not me.

3

Nellie, why is it you have to come to work looking so cute every day? You’re so tiny and pixieish, with that blonde hair and those gorgeous gray eyes… And every time you say ‘good morning’ to me, with that lilting Russian accent, it makes me so crazy that I can barely STAND for the next five minutes, much less continue a conversation. Damn it all, it’s all your fault for being so cute, such a good dresser… and so NICE, damn it! Cute and NICE!

Man, I’m lost.

4

shes 5’11" and build like the marathon runner she is, I have trouble just talking when shes around…33 is WAY to old to have a friggin junior high crush on someone.

5

My best female friend, who may be seen with me in this photo. We have exactly the same sense of humor, which accounts for an awful lot in our case. And the same taste in art, same political views, etc. etc.

Sigh. I think we’re perfect for each other. Worse, everyone we know is always telling us we’d be perfect for each other. She just mumbles something about “chemistry” (what the hell is that?) and makes it clear she disagrees.

6

Almost every really close straight male friend I have ever had. (most of my friends are straight)It really sucks. (or rather doesn’t… er nevermind) I eventually get over it, it just makes for me being really uncomfortable for a while.

7

Riitta: Beautiful. Blonde. Petite and graceful. Intelligent. Well-spoken. Chief organizer of cultural festival.
Married. Lives an ocean away… <sigh>

Carolina: Beautiful. Central American. Plump. Curvy. Olive skin. Long shining black hair. Works in building next to where I work.
Asked her out. She wasn’t interested… <sigh>

That Russian woman on the #82 bus. Co-worker knows her a bit, and has told me…
She’s moving back to St Petersburg. <sigh>

Assorted other female co-workers. Let’s see (ticking off selections on imaginary fingers):
married, married, married, too young, smokes, smokes and is married, married…

SIGH

I think I’m living in the wrong country or something.

8

Amy, Amy, Tracy, Laura, Colleen, Shannon, Alyssa, Erin, Jessie, Tracy again, Wendy, Jen, Sarah, Elizabeth, Alisa, Amy (there’s a lot with that name, it seems), Angie, Kari, another Laura…

Sheesh. Quite the roving eye…

9

Oh Danny… you’re so hot every time I see you… but I guess I’ll have to settle for friends.

10

There were several of these: (All names have been changed):
–Evelyn (mentioned in the thread “Impulses you’ve resisted (or not).” From high school. We graduated in June 1967; I found out she got married in December 1968.
–Vickie Sanders, from the same class. One of few girls who were decent and civil to me then; I had very bad acne, for one thing. I suffered a letdown when Vickie–whom I hadn’t even seen in two years–got married in 1972. (She won a local beauty contest the year before.) Of the five members of the immediate family, only Vickie and one brother are still alive. :frowning:
–Helen Lane–graduated the year before I did. Measured about 120" around the brain. Very nice and thoughtful. Shapely, too. I saw her about two years after she graduated and never again.
–Shelly German. I had a platonic relationship with her, which could have blossomed into something really serious. Unfortunately, she has an attitude–even insults her own parents in their own home.
I’m still batting zero. :frowning:

11

The three biggest…

The guy I see on the train about 3 days a week. Latin American looking…beautiful eyes. Wears a wedding band, so I do nothing.

The former co-worker. Married, loves his wife, but he’s a huge flirt. Sexy as anything.

Brett from college. He is beautiful. I could fall in love with him now. But alas, 'twas never to be, for he plays for the other team.

So many crushes, so little time.

12

Ahh… M----… how mcuh do I crush thee?

On the bright side, according to my friend E-----, I have a chance. One day we were all sitting on benchs across from each other, and E leaned up against me. Then, according to her, M gave her the “look.” God knows if I know what the look is, but I assume it was a good thing for me.

13

Lets see. I have a long F***ing list here.
All of these are women whom I have known in life become friends with and have been completely amazed and in love with **ONLY ** to have them moved away. (sidenote) I blame lady luck, she has her claws in me and is a very fickle jealous bitch (/sidenote)

**Irina **Warm, intellegent with a very kind heart and warm soul.
result Moved home to Moscow Russia to work as the Russian to English translator in her mothers Magazine.

WendyA bright energetic amazing lady tough as nails when she needs to and sweet as pie all other times.
result Moved to Germany

Kathrine Fun, loved to talk for hours, has many many shared interests and explore the joys of the little things in life such as watching the stars at night while eating powdered Donuts and drinking strawberry Quick.
result Moved to Chech republic working as a translator

Marrielle Athletic intellegent and very kind and shared any and everything.
result Moved to Tampa for an awesome state job after graduation, since then has gotten married.

Vyta Fun spontanious so very much alive she glowed. Smiled when she cussed. Made the whole world seem amazing just by her presence.
result Took job in DC at NIH killing rats (she works in a health lab) have not heard from her in years. (sidenote) I found out her mother moved away as well when I had to go rekey the locks for the people whom bought her old house.

**Jennifer ** Kind active and very ingaging in conversation.
result She left for college and I have not found her since.

Cristy Fast friend and was absolutely amazing
result She graduated and moved back to Georgia and never wrote.

Ginny Smart, funny and a person I was always relaxed around.
result Now in Ga and refuses to consider a long distance relationship.

Ksyusha Kind dreamer who always was there when I needed a friend.
result Now lives in St Petersburg Russia. I do still recieve letters (email actually) about once a month.

Olga (Lola) The most amazing young lady I have yet to meet. Smart, funny and contagious curiosity.
result Kept in touch when she started to attend University of Moscow. Have sent 10 letters now without a response.

Crystal Fun, a complete joy to be near a friend to the end.
result Living and working in California somewhere.

Ok I am going to quit. Hell the list could take me hours to recall. Much longer if I were to type it out and keep typing all the /b for the VB code stuff. Why get to the list of everyday people eh?

Is an on going joke in my life. I befriend a woman, find the woman completely irrisistable and she is all of the sudden offered a awesome opportunity in life geographically far away. My friends (the bastards) like to say to me when they meet a new woman in my life*** “where do you think this one will be moving to?”***.

Side note, I also have the poem “unrequited love” by Yevtushenko memorized. Guess I gotta go back and post in the “longest poem you have memorized” tread.

Osip

14

Mario - The cook in our office canteen. Italian, who speaks very little English. Big, brown eyes, gorgeous smile, medium long wave black hair that he wears in a ponytail, body like a god. I make a trip upstairs a few times each day to get ice and water or maybe a pack of gum. Doesn’t matter that we have an entire bag of ice in our office fridge or that I already have a pack of gum in my desk.

I honestly can not think of anyone as hot as him, famous or not.

Jeeeezus! :::pant pant:::

Michael and Wayne - I’ve never actually met these two guy but their dad is one of my very best friends in the office. I fell in lust with them about 5 years ago when I saw pictures of their week long horse riding/camping trip.

Mike has light hair and big brown eyes, Wayne has dark hair and baby blue eyes and both are gorgeous as all hell!!! :::swoon:::

Ever since the first time I laied eyes on their photos, it has been a running joke in our office about how much I love these two guys. They know all about me and my schoolgirl crush and have actually sent me pictures of themselves to add to the shrine I have built on one end of my pin board.

Wayne lives just across a huge corn field but Mike lives allllllllll the way to California :(. Unfortunately, they are both married, but that hasn’t stopped the harmless innocent flirting that we have been sending back and forth through their dad for the last few years.

I must confess though that I have turned this “innocent” little crush into some VERY naughty fantasies.

I also have a few major crushes on a couple of Doper guys I have met IRL. :wink:

15

Perversely, I need to complain about my actual boyfriend. One year ago today he (sort of) said he loved me….but has not said so unprompted since. We’ve dated on and off for years and it still feels like I’ve got a huge crush on him. I’m pretty, I’m smart, I make great lasagna and I do the dishes, why isn’t he head over heels in love with me?

16

An open letter to Beautiful Ben,

Why must you be so perfect? Smart, funny, a strong Christian, athletic, plays the guitar like a pro, and sings like an angel.

And while these characteristics would be attractive even in an average-looking guy, are you average-looking? No! Heavens no! You, you have your lovely blue eyes, and your cute curly brown hair, and your body that rivals that of a Greek god.

But while you are so close to perfection, do you achieve it? Alas, no! To reach perfection would mean you would not have a perfect girlfriend with whom you make the perfect couple and from whom you will never break up. She being so perfect that I can not even hate her, though Lord knows I’ve tried.

And so Beautiful Ben, I ask you to please forgive the hopeless ramblings of a melodramatic high school girl. I merely wished for you to know my thoughts, if you happen to notice me in the corner, pining over a love I can never have.

With much melancholy love,
Renee

17

Sigh, where to start?

#1 You are so wonderful; you are smart, so damn sexy, a joy to talk to, and have such a great sense of humour. Yet there is no chemistry on your part. I’ve never wanted to change myself for someone before but if I could…

There are more but I’m about to go on vacation and don’t need to see all my relationship failures in print at the current time:/

18

I also have a major crush on a few dopers I haven’t met IRL. I have spoken to them on the phone, does that count as IRL crushes?

19

::raises her glass::

Here’s to the best part of Seattle, the lovely piano player, and my yo-yo mentor.

20

Oh, Mark, I’ve been fantasizing about you for a long, long time…all the better, because when I finally get my hands on you, we are going to make some sweet, sweet lovin’ all night long.

Do you know I can barely concentrate in class because I’m imagining my hands all over your body? Do you know what you do to me when you raise your eyebrow and give me that sideways look? Do you have any idea how much I wanted you after I read your poems? You sexy, smart, wonderful man. Oh, the things I would do to you. You have no idea.

Someone, make it stop! Please!