If an updated Divine Comedy was written how would people post-1300 fit into the various circles of Hell and Heaven. For starters I can see Confucius, Buddha, and Lao-Tze in Limbo.
I think you need to brush up on your history a bit.
Perhaps he means the director’s cut?
This thread deserves a mention of Inferno by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle.
Well, Dante didn’t exactly shy away from tossing people in Hell. I’d be a little surprised if one wouldn’t end up in there just for being a Protestant—and frankly, my hopes aren’t too high for people who lived under the reign of any of the antipopes, either.
Curse you, DT!! 
I came into this thread specifically to recommend this as an interesting “update”. Strongly recommended, Qin.
Allow me to introduce you then, to an updated version of the Inferno - as performed by puppets!
Drat, thought this would be a thread about how best to update Pink Flamingos or Female Trouble.
Maybe they can turn them into Broadway musicals like ‘Hairspray.’ Just imagine the big number to accompany Pink Flamingo’s canine coprophagy scene.
Perhaps in the afterlife Osama has 72 horny virgins, all played by Divine.
So, in this update, where would spammers and telemarketers go? Email and Craiglist scammers? I don’t remember the circles, but I’m guessing there was a place for fraud. The spammers and telemarketers aren’t exactly fraud, though, or not necessarily.
Oscar Wilde would have replaced Brunetto the sodomite, though perhaps there’s some justice and he’s driven in a chariot pulled by Bosey and Lord Douglas.
Jefferson Davis has to be in one of the rings.
Hitler and Göring and crew aren’t there as they must relive the worst moments of everybody whose death they were responsible for before they can be moved to Hell Proper. The pain and fear and suffering never gets easier and they’ve still got millions to go.
Back in the '70s, one issue of The Amazing X-Men had them travel to and through the classical Inferno. I don’t recall much about it, but I seem to recall it was an induced hallucination, designed to take revenge on the X-Men for a injury that the perpetrator blamed them for.
And, if you like that, there’s a 2009 sequel, Escape from Hell.
Thanks for the rec. I somehow managed not to have heard of this.
I once read the Divine Comedy (the Ciardi translation), and thought that, for an Enduring Classic, it had an awful lot of topical references, inside “jokes,” and personal grudges in it that diminshed its appeal for a modern reader, but that a modern-day update (in either literary or cinematic form), done by someone of sufficient genius, had the potential to be Killer Awesome.
I also liked the Purgatorio the best of the three parts.
The Ciardi translation is good, and it has become the classroom standard, but I’d recommend the Dorothy Sayers translation. In addition to being a formidable scholar, she was also a popular mystery novelist, and the result is perhaps the most readable Dante I’ve run across. Sayers managed to preserve the Terza rima rhyme scheme, which Ciardi proclaimed himself unable to do.
OK, now that’s just plain weird.
A college literature class I took had us write our own Inferno canto. This was the spring of 1994…mine featured the fresh soul of Kurt Cobain. We only covered Inferno, and I loved it.
According to Niven, the Circle of the Flatterers, where they’re condemned to having shit spew out every time they open their mouths.
Heh. Did you not read the Sayers intro, where she talks about how any sane person would love Purgatorio best? (And I do too, so there 
)
I’m thrilled to find someone else who’s read the Sayers. I knew her first for her Dante, before I knew she’d written mysteries. I do find Ciardi a bit more readable (Sayers kind of has to contort sometimes to get the terza rima going), but the terza rima really adds something to the experience, and I do kind of think that of all the translations I know the Sayers gets across some of the wonder of it the best. Also, she has the best notes! I’m totally bummed that she died before she could work out Paradiso – the quality is noticeably worse.
So he definitely IS in Hell…