“Uranus takes a pounding more frequently than thought.”
Damn, I don’t have any privacy . . . even in my own bedroom.
Uranus is huge and gassy, right?
Not only that, it’s tilted sideways.
And we won’t even mention the Klingons.
Ur-anus?
Only until 2620. Then it will be Urectum.
Urectum? Judge, I nearly killed 'im…
Of course not. NASA sent Voyager 2 to take lots of pictures of Uranus.
Well, it only got pounded twice so I don’t think it tells us anything about its character or preferences. And as the article observes, this happened when it was much younger - “back in the tempestuous youth of the solar system, it was relatively common.” I think we all have one or two stories to tell about our own tempestuous youth. 
All I know is I can see Uranus quite clearly tonight.
You can? No matter where I look, I can never get a good look at Uranus. It’s like it’s always hidden behind something. 
Are there rings around Uranus?
Now, you can find them all over the internet, too.
Reading the article it looks like Uranus only got two big poundings during its younger days and nothing since. Maybe the dry spell will end someday.
College experimentation?
Yeah. Sure. I think we can go with that.
How many times has NASA probed Uranus? How many men were involved? What kind of equipment did they use?
Did Uranus give consent? Has anyone even spoken to Uranus?
Won’t somebody think of Uranus?
Captain’s Log: Stardate 3162.7. The Enterprise has received emergency orders from Starfleet Command regarding a Klingon invasion of Earth’s solar system. Under the codename “Operation T.P.,” our mission is to travel to the seventh planet from the sun and engage the invading force. Therefore, I have given instructions to the crew to circle Uranus and…WIPE OUT THE KLINGONS!
vavlI’ quv Say’moHmeH nuj bIQ vIlo’chugh, nuj bIQ vIlammoH