Urinal Etiquette

I was on vacation with my wife recently, which we spent in a Pocono Mountain resort. Most evenings we would go to their nightclub for a bit of drinking, dancing, shows, etc.

One evening there, when I went to the men’s room, I found it empty. I had my pick of eight urinals to choose from. I walked up to the second one and began my business (for these purposes, we’ll call the setup urinals #1-8, running left to right. I was at urinal #2).

A moment later, another gentleman enters and promptly walks up to urinal #3.

Now, if a bathroom were packed, I’d have no problem with this. I know when I step into the bathroom at Giants Stadium, I’ll be waiting in a line three-deep in front of each urinal. But in this case, I gotta say this was uncalled for. Spread out, man! Gimme a little elbow room.

I would have to say that *The Big Book of Urinal Etiquette * would have to begin with:

Rule #1: Unless there is no option available, do not use a urinal adjacent to another urinal already in use.

What else should we have on this list?

Rule #3: Eyes front.

Obviously, they should have taken the urinal test.

It’s all here:

Ten Commandments of proper urinal etiquette

Shall we back up and have a Rule #2? :smiley:

Rule #2: Stand close enough not to pee on the floor.

From Arch trout’s link:

So, according to this, Hal Briston’s pee partner was ‘either gay, or is very comfortable with themself and feels like making [Hal Briston] uncomfortable.’

Also according to this, Hal Briston, by taking an even-numbered urinal first demonstrated the need to eliminate him from the gene pool.

I think this link is being needlessly harsh. And anyway, the most important rule is never addressed: NO TALKING, ASSHOLE!!

**Rule #4: ** There will be NO rule #4
**Rule #5: ** When you pick your nose whilst pissin,’ flick the booger into the water or at least hose it off the back wall of the urinal. Don’t leave it there to adhere to the porcelan! That’s gross.

Rule #6: NO TALKING.

Rule #1 is you do not talk about Urinal Club

Rule #2 is you do not talk about Urinal Club

I believe Rich Hall had a “pspot” sniglet, it being the point directly above the urinal where one must stare.

This happens with women’s bathrooms as well. Here are my rules:

  1. I always go for an end to leave the most possible options for the next rider.

  2. If necessary, I will use the gimp stall before sidling up to someone else’s stall.

  3. If Opal is in the next stall, I’ll say, “Hi, Opal!”

Rule #7: No poofters.

As a gay male who frequents a straight gym, I’m curious about male lockerroom etiquette. I’ve noticed a distinct set of behaviors among obviously straight guys, and some more obviously gay guys. I’d have to sit down for a while to write it all down, but there’s a definite mystique to it all. I think we need a resource for this. :wink:

Hey, we have to piss too. If you’re that hung up, go into a bloody stall to piss.

Harsh but fair I think.
Always pick an odd numbered urinal first.

Picking urinal number two is leaving yourself opened to being sandwiched.

I always pick the far left urinal apart from one certain pub in which I always take the far right one.
Does America have troughs like they do in Britain?

Trough etiquette is far more complicated.

SO glad I’m a girl. SO, SO GLAD!!

Easy there, you great fairy. He’s picking up on a Monty Python biscuit I tossed off…I mean out. :smiley:

Arch Trout I’ve only ever seen troughs at huge places like a sports arena. And at those times it’s been literally a “shoulder to shoulder” bonding experience with little room for etiquette beyond “eyes front.”

Especially considering the trough thing…

And not only are the troughs being used at these crowded sporting events, often there are guys pissing in the sinks too. To the best of my knowledge, there are no etiquette rules for sink pissing.

We do, but they aren’t common at all. One of the bathrooms at the junior high school I went to had one. It was only big enough for three guys stand around. Those things always made me uncomfortable. I think they made all of us 8th graders uncomfortable. We used them, nonetheless.

I always make a point of standing as far away from everyone else at urinals. Just common courtesy I thought.