I go into the bathroom of my library at school. I am there to make use of the urinal. Just as I unzip my fly, an acquaintance (we know each others’ names but do not converse), walks in. Please know that he is a generally polite and even quiet person. This is why I was particularly struck by his behaviour.
First questionable move: There are three urinals. I am currently using the urinal on the far right. Upon seeing me, he moves directly to the MIDDLE urinal. Doesn’t this break some sort of secret code?
Second questionable move: Not only does he greet me as he’s preparing to drain himself, but he turns to look me square in the eye and engages me in chit chat. Um…doesn’t this cross the line?
Third questionable move: As he’s using the urinal and talking to me, he rips a long, loud, extended fart. Is it me or is he having trouble deciding whether this is a private space or social space?
Final questionable move: He then proceeds to refer explicitly to said fart: “Sorry 'bout that but I guess that’s what these rooms are for”. How do I respond to that one?
It honestly didn’t scar me for life. I mean, it’s not really a big deal at all, just slightly amusing. I was struck though, because it is not the kind of experience you have all the time…
My take is that the first two are unforgivable social errors. I’d worry about this chap. The second to are wholly acceptable and should at least be tolerated, if not celebrated.
Wasn’t there a animated flash game based on that urinal ettiquette on here at one point?
I’ve never understood why urinals are out in the open instead of walled off into nice little stalls where no one can violate your peeing space like that. Makes me glad I’m a woman.
Imho, he seems like the type who is very uncomfortable in public bathrooms, and his behavior is his way of handling it. Sort of like a person who laughs when they hear bad news.
It may be customary among members of his tribe. I’ve known of others (not me!) to grunt, sigh, fart out loud, make comments, whistle, etc., while peeing. Amy Vanderbilt would disapprove but it’s pretty common. As long as he doesn’t bring it up again later I wouldn’t worry.
Ever read Asimov’s novels with R. Daneel Olivaw? In them, everyone lives underground and the public restrooms are the only place anyone can get any privacy. Talking in the “privates” in a social faux pax of the highest order.
Frankly, I don’t understand what the big deal is, especially with him looking you in the eye. Where else would you want someone looking while talking to you, especially when you’ve both got you pants open? Personally, I’d find it disturbing for someone to look at my crotch while speaking to me, but even more disturbing for them to be looking at their own crotch, or studiously looking at the wall. Especially the wall thing, since that would give me the feeling that they’re trying really hard not to stare at my crotch.
The middle urinal thing may be a little odd, but it’s way better to fart in the bathroom than in a more public area. And really, did you expect him to just studiously ignore it, or try to blame it on someone else, or something? Far better for him to apologize for subjecting to his farts.
I’m glad about the ladies rooms too If I were designing a men’s room, I wouldn’t do away with them entirely since guys say they’re quicker to use, but I’d bolt partitions between the urinals. Urinal Blinders sound like a more comfortable peeing experience for the poor guys.
And just like in Seinfeld, though I think it reasonable you acknowledge this behaviour as not to your own standards, it certainly isn’t anything to be concerned about - he just has a different level of social graces than you.
Maybe he was brought up in a family of five brothers or something.
If I were designing a men’s room, I wouldn’t do away with them entirely since guys say they’re quicker to use, but I’d bolt partitions between the urinals. Urinal Blinders sound like a more comfortable peeing experience for the poor guys.