It’s against The Rules. I’m probably breaking some sort of trust here, but…
[ul]
[li]If a urinal is occupied, use the open urinal farthest away from the one that is occupied.[/li][li]No talking allowed. You can say, “Hey.” to greet someone you know.[/li][li]No looking. You may look straight ahead, down at your own urine stream, up, or away from another person. Some public toilets mount newspapers on the wall to provide a convenient place to look.[/li][li]Farting is problematic. Nobody wants to be next to a farter. But if you must, you must. Try to hold it until no one is around. If someone farts loudly, you may cover the embarassment by saying something like, “Nice rip, Charlie!”[/li][li]Conversation is allowed at the wash basins.[/li][/ul]
ok, I’m ok pretty much everything he did, he just sounds a little more open that your average uptight U.S. urinal user. Except for the second citation, looking you while talking. When someone does this, I start to worry they’ll lose focus on their aim or feel encouraged and move their look further down.
Here is my quick list of more objectionable/weirder behaviors I’ve seen:
stands so close to urinal his arms (and penis, surely) is pressed against the urinal;
stands so far back that adjacent urinal users are liberally doused by his splashback;
drops cigarette into urinal, where it will remain for weeks for subsequent users to target practice;
openly looks at your equipment;
in a long line waiting to use the urinals, like at a concert, the next guy in line takes peeks around you to see if you’re almost done;
stands there and bounces up and down for a couple minutes to make sure every drop is released (or, possibly, for personal gratification?);
pukes into urinal;
starts random racist or sexist conversation with strangers while peeing;
makes loud moaning sounds suggesting great and extended pleasure;
flushes multiple times while going.
Johnny, I’m so terribly sorry but you’re being detained for violating [The Uniformed Male Gender Lavatory Secrecy Code of 1921]( Amusing Faux Link).
In addition to having your computer removed from your residence, you will be catheterized by force for the next 20 years. Don’t say you weren’t warned, this is not the first little run- in we’ve had with you, Mr. L.A..
Let this be a lesson to the rest of you.
Cartooniverse, Sector Chief of The Bladder Corps :eek:
They’re called “Personals”. The no-talking, no-looking, no-interaction rule applied only to males. In the females’ Personals, you were actually expected to talk.
Moderate Breach of Etiquette. Unless the restroom is very crowded, you should stagger urinals so there is an empty one between you and the next guy.
Serious Breach of Etiquette. TALKING TO A MAN WHILE HE IS PEEING IS ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN!!! If you must talk to this person, wait until you are both washing your hands, or talk to him outside the bathroom. Also, there are only two appropriate places to look while at a urinal: at the wall in front of you, or at your own equipment.
Isn’t a big problem. When you gotta rip one, you gotta rip one.
Target practices?!? This one is really making me laugh. The image…the image.
I swear, sometimes you guys are like a different species.
See, I would have interpreted the acquaintance as doing something “noble” by taking the middle urinal, thereby blocking that spot by a potential stranger coming in and standing next to you. Striking up a conversation, not looking at your willy, and farting suggests that he feels a comraderie and friendship with you.
Why is talking so bad? Doesn’t talking block out the sound of the tinkle? Why is tinkling a preferable sound?
Well, I am an eternal optimist, female, and clearly have no understanding of such things.
What was really fun as a kid was when there was a cigarette butt or a dead cricket in one of the troughs. You could use your stream to push it all the way to the other end. And if your buddy was at the trough, too, y’all could have a real pissing match by trying to push the dead cricket toward the other guy’s end (we called it ‘trough hockey’).
Oh! And when I was in sixth grade our school installed “Tinkle Toys” in the urinals (regular ones, not troughs). They were put there to encourage us to improve our aim so that the boys restroom would not be so… messy. Anyway, the Tinkle Toys were just little plastic propellers that sat on top of rubber mats at the bottom of the urinal bowl. There was a little arrow on one of the propeller blades and on the mat were different sections that said “Free Lunch, New Car!, and Try Again” and stuff like that. So you pee on the propeller and it spins around. Of course, you didn’t actually win any of the “prizes” (TANSTAAFL) but it was fun just the same!
Your tinkle toys were propellers? You were lucky. Ours were minature wheels, kind of like the wheel on a side-wheeler river boat, or a ferris wheel. Sometimes you could get ‘em spinnin’ real fast, which was kinda’ fun, but there was no promise of a prize like you got. I feel cheated! :mad:
Common sense does not apply to a lot of people these days. He probably has no idea he did anything wrong. In that case, a sense of humor is your best bet. Something along the lines of “Nice RIP, dude!” or congratulate him on his flatulance skills.
I’m convinced that bars and nightclubs dump ice into the men’s-room urinal trough as incentive for us to carefully push around the cubes with our pee stream, thereby reducing the amount of sloppy spillover the management has to worry about cleaning off the floor.
No, no, no- and yes, that IS what the bathroom is for. American toilet taboos, especially those about urinating, are just plain silly & sometimes wasteful to the environment. I realize that some up-tight dudes are freaky about these things, so I don’t talk much, or stand close- but still- as Quadop says- they are operative in cultures where urination is “shameful” & “unclean”.
You DO not need to- nor should you- flush after each urination. Urine is not “unsanitary”. (OTOH, Feces most definately IS. After a BM, make sure you flush, and wash your hands carefully). Once every so often, so it doesn’t get really smelly is fine. I have seen a couple of guys who flush constantly while urinating. It’s all I can do to not yell at them.:mad:
However, yes- commenting on private things like penis length, amount of flow, etc is indeed- rude and uncalled for. Somethng mild & that doesn’t call for a answer like “Nice weather, eh?” is about right.
My big pet peeve is dudes who use a toilet to pee- and then don’t lift the seat, getting urine all over it 1. Use the urinal. 2. If not available- LIFT THE DAMN SEAT!!:mad:
See above. Also “not that there’s anything wrong with that”.
This man is talented. I’m deathly afraid of cracking a rat while urinating in fear that I may shit my pants because the potty part of my brain is working on the “he’s taking a leak so he’d be ready to drop some friends off at the pool”
Oh yeah, I always use the stall (standing up). I want my privacy and I don’t want someone committing suicide once they realize that I’m hung like a rhinoceros.
Give me privacy or give me death!
