Nice to see I’m still up-to-date on the boys’ bathroom rules. Not that I’ll ever have reason to use 'em, but still, I like to think I’m well informed about the opposite sex.
Women are pretty uptight, too. Once had a chronic-continual-flush-while-peeing chick chew me out for pissing too loudly. Huh? Like I’m busting to go and I’m supposed to restrain myself, letting it dribble out drop by drop? Heck no - out it goes. Not like I’m pushing hard enough to herniate myself.
Then there was the gal who, after an operation for “female troubles” could be heard performing Kegel excercises on a regular basis in the stalls. Like, every time she peed. That was a little unusual… Also weird because over the weeks you could hear her get better at them…
We women use stalls with doors (in case some of you guys don’t know that). Conversation with strangers is limited to “hey, there’s no paper in this one - can you hand me some?” and similar very business oriented things. Conversations between friends while doing the deed does happen, but it seems to be a feature of younger girls. A lot of women seem uncomfortable talking while performing, particularly older ones.
There does seem to be a divide between younger and older. If a juicy fart rings out, older women either pretend not to notice (even while gagging) or may exchange looks of horror, but not mention it. Younger women may exchange looks of horror, then giggle, or yell out “Courtesy flush!”.
If you’re washing your hands at a bank of sinks in the women’s room it would be rude not to say something to the other person, even if it’s just “hello” or “good morning”. This is, of course, assuming you’re a woman. Being a man in the women’s room is, of course, unacceptable at all times. Unless you’re there to fix a toilet or something, in which case you must stand outside loudly announcing your precense, wait until all women have left, then errect warning signs prior to going in so no woman inadvertently wanders in during your visit and start using the toilet as a toilet without realizing there’s a MAN in there.
But I have met women who believe no one should fart in a public restroom, or crap in one. Which boggles my mind - I’m supposed to hold it 10 or 12 hours until I get home? Along with the women who feel one should make no noises while performing bodily functions we all do - very strange. Then there are the women who spray the toilet seat with disinfectant, put paper all around the hole, spray THAT with disinfectant, then sit down to do their business. THEN LEAVE ALL THAT STUFF BEHIND! Excuse me? If YOU don’t want to touch it, what makes you think I do? And, if you DO do all that, your butt had better be sterile, otherwise you’re just fooling yourself.
