Re: Urinal 101 http://www.straightdope.com/columns/030509.html
As an expatriate Brit, I have been puzzled by the fact that may urinals, in restaurants etc. in the
Los Angeles area, where I now live, have small rubber mats in them, often printed with the words
“Say no to drugs.”
I do rather wonder what these mats are for. Do they help eliminate splashing? Perhaps they help
with cleaning somehow, but they must get very disgusting.
But much more I wonder why on earth anyone would think this was a suitable place to be
campaigning against drug taking. All I can think is that if you were very, very stoned you might
think the toilet was talking to you, but would even a person totally out of it be likely to take advice
from a urinal?
Nigel Thomas
WEB SITE: "Imagination, Mental Imagery, Consciousness, and Cognition: Scientific,
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The mats help prevent junk such as cigarette butts or wads of paper towels / toilet paper from getting flushed and clogging the plumbing. Unlike sit-down toilets, urinals drain out through relatively small pipes.
Urinals have a 2" drain, the same size as a shower.
Oops…water closets have mainly 3" drains, not that much larger.
I was born here and I also find it puzzling.
Well, not really. It’s one of those feel-good useless stupid things that is hard to stop without looking like a Bad Guy.
Scene: Boardroom of PissMats Inc.
Boss: We couldn’t sell ad space on the product like we hoped; it turns out people don’t want to spend money to allow people to urinate on their company or product name.
Suit #1: I know! Let’s put “Say No To Drugs” on them! Think of how many guys will take advice from what they’re aiming their wang at!
Suit #2: Are YOU on drugs? Who the fuck is going to stop shooting up because a piss-soaked, cigarette-butt laden urinal mat tells them to? It’s a goddam addiction, for Christ’s sake!
Boss: I guess you WANT our nation’s youth you die in an alley with a needle hang out of their arm… YOU’RE FIRED!!!
It’s a great idea - you’re looking there anyway, why not fill it with messages? That seems to be the thinking.
You can’t pee on a billboard, but you can get advertising from a urinal…
Personally, I think pissing on the ‘Say No To Drugs’ logo is about as fitting as it can get. What else would be better to piss on? Ok, maybe a pic of G.W., Ashcroft, or Rummy… that’d be swell…
If it were me, I’d want a picture of a urinal on the mat so that I could try for double-points.
The mat is not where you are supposed to aim. Didn’t you read the column?
I don’t think it’s such a big deal if the occasional cigarette butt or wad of paper gets tossed in a urinal; the drain can probably accommodate it. Gum, on the other hand, will not disintegrate the way paper will, and I’ve seen plenty of gum in urinals. I bet the mats are there to catch gum and prevent it from clogging the pipes.
While in a club, I once peed on a wall on which I thought I saw a urinal ( I think the pattern on the wallpaper got me) - wish there had been a “say no to drugs” mat in one of the urinals I used earlier that evening… I got some strange looks before I figured out what I was doing and decided to have a talk with Einstein. My point? Say no to drugs.
“You can’t pee on a billboard, but you can get advertising from a urinal…”
“You can’t pee on a billboard”???
I like urinals full of ice. One can watch the ice melt.
You can pee on a billboard, but you can’t get up to the actual board without more work that it’s worth.
Ah, the War on Drugs at work. 
“Big Brother is watching you pee.”
I always viewed these mats as an opportunity for personal revenge against Nancy Reagan while urinating…
Here’s an URL for Urinal 102: