Useless Frickin' Resume Advice

Bingo. My job is to make my boss look better and smarter and more on top of it than he actually is, left to his own devices. And that, my friends, is priceless. :wink:

The OP seems too smart to just do the same thing over and over, or at least he/she is bored with it. That’s a good thing.

Sure, definitely ask. And lots of people new to jobs write up something about the way it ought to be before finding out why it is that way. I did that myself. But the next step is coming up with new ideas that might actually work. Each of us brings a unique perspective, and none of us know that something obvious to us might be a revelation to someone without our experience.

I’ve known some really good admins who are looking out for things that they can do to relieve the burden on people who should be doing something else. That saves real money. In a lot of cases anecdotes are more powerful than numbers. Back in the days when you didn’t have to be a VP to have an admin, I could tell the difference between a creative one and a dull one.

The admin of my old boss, who was then the manager of our big factory in Denver, made hotel reservations for me at Stapledon in the face of an oncoming blizzard. Thanks to her I slept in a room that night, not in a chair at the airport. He made it a practice of always introducing himself to the admin of the person he was visiting first, and I followed his example. I’m convinced that there is room for creativity in any job.
I’m not saying those who aren’t are bad or should be fired - just that in this environment, creativity is an edge that we all need.

That’s the way to put it.
And someone at Microsoft invented shortcuts for a reason. Maybe **Two Many Cats ** doesn’t need them, but someone new to the job might find them very handy.

Shouldn’t that be tit your waitress? (Tip size is directly proportional to breast size?)

The purpose of the resume is for you to get an interview, so putting numbers on it is either going to elicit disbelief or concern about spewing proprietary information. I’ve never seen a resume with numbers - unless it would be connected to some kind of public reward.

Excellent! And unless they throw darts to give out that award, I bet there is something you did to get it, which goes on the resume also. Which is exactly what the advice you objected to says. I’ve seen many people downplay their creativity, because they think that if they came up with something it can’t be all that special. Good policy with friends, bad on a resume.

I hate when we get resumes that say “I increased sales by 30%” or whatever. I have no way to verify that information, and it always strikes me as padding.

I thank you for your compliments. But I got the awards for showing up everyday and working my ass off in general. Perhaps I should phrase that as “My material presence topped out at an 97% actuality rate, and my efforts resulted in a 56% lessening of posterior elements.”

Actually, to me that sounds like a really good thing to say.

I did that last year. I called it 'being proactive". My boss called it “losing 40% of the orders.”
Some people lack vision.


I think that the humor of the stupid advice is that it’s being written by reporters. What do reporters put on their resumes? “Saved 40 words per column.” “Got the police to give me information that it was illegal for them to give.” “Saw an increase of guts in car wrecks.”
Also, the part about 'leaving off your skills and experience." That’s great. A hospital wants a guy that can save money, not somebody that knows how to do surgeries and stuff. Everybody needs a dilletante, not somebody with experience and skill.
I still love the great reporters that say to put in your 'career objective." You can generally tell that these guys are dredging up old columns.


Ever read a newspaper article about something that you were already very interested in or involved in? There is almost always some sort of error or inaccuracy. This just makes me realize that all the articles about things that I don’t know so much about likely have these sorts of errors as well. I think we’ve found that here. I’ve got a job much like yours–kind of boring, not world-shaking, and best way I know to save my employer money is to not screw up. How much time and money did I save by putting stock in the location that I entered into the computer instead of a totally different shelf? Well, I guess quite a bit, because when stuff isn’t where we think it is and we have to search for it, it wastes time and money. How much? Who’s to say? It depends on how hard it was to find it, I guess.

handsomeharry, if I reduced shipping by 40%, I’d be fired. If I increased shipping by 40%, they’d just say, “Well, it wasn’t all you, was it?”

Can I clarify? I didn’t reduce shipping, I reduced shipping costs - same amount of stuff shipped for 40% less money. Now I have to go check me resume to make sure I stated that clearly!