Another commisseration on the UTI front. Ugh. Hate 'em. Hate 'em hate 'em hate 'em. Luckily I haven’t had one for several year (fingers crossed, knock on wood). Unluckily I do have a doc that makes me come in and pee in a cup or whatever. Always. For everything. No prescription for anything without spending 1/2 a day being “worked in” …
The rest were busy telling each other what a nice job you did! WTG, gallows fodder!
Give me your dad’s address and I will send him a fucking clue. 
I spent five hours yesterday walking around with a toddler who screamed bloody murder if I had the gall to set her on her own two feet, swimming through a haze of her burps and farts. As soon as she had managed to expel all of her gas, she was fine. I, on the other hand, have managed to pull something in my back and right shoulder and it now it hurts to breathe, and not only because my nostrils have been singed by the stench of a constipated kid.
On a related note, when did I become one of those people who tells others about my child’s constipation? I should be flogged.
My name is purplehorseshoe, and I 100% endorse this post.
** shakes fist at Mr. Horseshoe ** Dammit, man, it was bad enough that you put off mowing and put it off and put it off some more until the grass was ridiculously tall. But then you had to go and finally get it done, in the damn dark … and ran over the soaker hose.
I’m so over this heat already, and now I have to spend a jillion times more time outside in the blazing sun and humidity and I’m STILL watching all my beloved plants turn to wilted straw.
And he needs some other stuff from the hardware store so we gotta go together and with his work schedule and mine that might happen sometime in late October.
And speaking of heat, it’s so motherfucking hot that it’s physically impossible to take a cold shower. The water comes out of the wall blood-warm already. 
Eww, I haven’t had a UTI in centuries :knocks wood: But oh do I remember THE PAIN!
The next time my dogs decide to dump 50 lbs. of fur apiece on my newly-vacuumed carpet I just might shave 'em. Or teach them to use the vacuum cleaner.
Dear Powers That Be, I live in what is supposed to be a temperate area of our country. Temperate doesn’t mean sustained temperatures over 90F and humidity 80% and over for days on end. We are not Florida nor the Caribbean nor any other subtropical area. We get snow in the winter, remember? Kindly put this weather back where it belongs. Thank you.
Speaking of heat/humidity, this is the most lethargic I’ve ever been in recent memory. Any more lethargic and I’ll turn into a three-toed sloth.
Ok, I have one. I’m in the Chicago area and work downtown. I entered a contest to win a single-day Lollapalooza ticket which involved a lot of Facebook referrals and getting people to like a certain page and all that. Great news… I won a ticket!!!
So why the mini-rant? Turns out, you have to pick up your ticket in person. Ok, not a big deal. That’s pretty common. Ok, so where and when can I pick the ticket up? At their offices. Ok, where are those? In Des Plaines (out towards O’Hare, NW of the city)… which isn’t impossible, but it’s a pain in the ass to get out there. Maybe it’ll work…
Ok, so when can I pick up the tickets? Oh… Before Thursday, and only between the hours or 2-4pm. Uh… Thanks, guys, but I think I’ll pass on the “prize” as I’m not going to take a half-day off of work to drive to Des Plaines so I can get a SINGLE ticket (meaning I can’t even take my wife) to see a bunch of mostly shitty bands (It’s a Sunday ticket… If it were Saturday, I might try and make it work).
When I’m king, I’ll tell you the first thing I’ll do away with:
YouTube videos that aren’t fucking videos! Don’t give me this shitty audio with a Team America-style montage laid over it.
I go to YouTube for video. I go the friggin’ radio for audio.
For montages … I gotta go with the *Rocky *movies.
About a mile away from my apartment, in the Hell of Many Strip Malls, is a SuperAmerica. Employed by this place is the brother of a guy I have not spoken to in like 14 years. I dunno if the guy has ever recognized me or not. He hasn’t said anything, I haven’t said anything.
But anyway, for the 2.4 years that I have lived in this neighborhood, every single time I have gone there when he is working, the guy plays some stupid game with me over my change. I’ve seen him do it to many other people, so I know it isn’t just that he recognizes and is attempting to mess with me personally.
He is the sole reason that I only go in that particular place about once every 2 months, and probably will never go back at this point.
This is how it works, and this is what happened the other day: I walk in and ask for 3 lottery tickets. I hand him a $10 bill. He smiles and makes like that’s it, end of transaction. I stand there with a sharp look on my face waiting for my change. Twice more he attempts to tell me that’s it, we’re done, with a smirk on his face. I give him a much darker look and say, very firmly and with a lot of bass in my voice “NO”. He finally gives me my change.
That was it, the last straw. I wrote to SA (Speedway) about this and asked how many easily intimidated, forgetful or easily confused people have just walked out the door without their change. I stated that the next time he pulls this, I am going to turn around, walk out the door, call 911 and press charges of THEFT against both him and SA, because quite clearly, if he’s been pulling this shit for more than two years (that I know of), then SA management is complicit in his behavior.
FUCK.
Fuck you, US Postal Service. Of all the pieces of mail your machines could mangle, did one of them really have to be my (and cwSpouse’s) marriage / civil union license? Y’know, the original, signed-by-a-real-live-judge document that has to go to the County Clerk’s office to be recorded, or blessed, or whatever it is they do there?
Don’t imagine for a moment that I’m fooled by that “We Care” envelope that you used to send the partial remains back to us. At least you managed to salvage the part with the judge’s signature, my name, and part of cwSpouse’s name. Now I get to call the City Clerk’s office to find out how I’m supposed to handle this mess.
I’ve been married to my husband for 17 1/2 years and my mother still addresses things with my last name as that no-good piece of ^%$#)& I was married to briefly many years ago.
Any wonder I don’t speak to my family?
Dear puddle of water in the middle of my kitchen floor,
Where on earth are you coming from? The ceiling isn’t wet and there isn’t a trail of water to anywhere. I keep slipping in you and it is irritating when you get my socks wet. Please stop forming.
Sincerely,
Tired of constantly cleaning up the floor
Been feeling sick all day. Headache. Queasy. Achy. Group report group is unresponsive. Dogs have been acting like psychopaths all day. Finally gave up waiting on the plumber to fix the drain stopper and went to take a shower. Got stung on the forehead by a mosquito. Got out of shower. Picked up towel. Brought it to my face to dry off. Less than an inch from my face before my shitty eyes were able to focus on a REALLY BIG MOTHERFUCKING BUT ON MY TOWEL INCHES AWAY FROM MY FACE HE’S FUCKING HUGE!
WHAT THE FUCK?! The goddamn Terminix guy was just here a few hours ago and I told him we were having no bug issues. Where the fuck did he come from? The only bugs I see in my house are flies, mosquitoes, tiny beetles, and the rare spider. I have never even seen one of these outside.
The towel was on my bed before it was in the bathroom. What if there are more in my bed?
Can someone please tell me what he is and please tell me they only come in singles so I can stop freaking out.
please? 
No, I will not get a closer picture so don’t ask.
Yep, looks like an outdoor beetle of some sort that found it’s way in. He probably doesn’t have friends partying under your pillow.
Or inside your ear canal.
You are not nice. Not nice at all.
I posted a What’s This thread in GQ and so far the comments have been various varieties of beetle - some of them wood borers (I live in a log cabin). So, there is some cause for concern.
If anyone wants to see him better, look through those pictures in my link. My nerdiness won out over my fear and I got some really good pictures of him.
I’ve had something with entirely too many legs get into my ear canal. Don’t worry, if something similar happens to you, you will KNOW about it. I don’t know which was worse, the thing frantically scrambling to get out, or the sounds it was making RIGHT INSIDE MY HEAD. I, of course, was screeching and hopping up and down and hollering to my husband to get a pair of tweezers and a flashlight and pull the damned thing out.
It was not a fun night.
This happened over a year ago, but it involved a UTI and really ticked me off, so I’m going to tell the story anyway. I gave a urine sample as part of a doctor’s visit. A few days later, I got a voicemail saying that I’d tested positive for a UTI and to call back with my pharmacy’s phone number. When I called back, I was told there was no record of anyone calling me, but the woman who answered took my pharmacy information anyway. She called me back several times after that and said that no one there knew what I was talking about. When I asked if the lab results at least showed that I had a UTI, she said she didn’t have the lab results. At some point, she tried to transfer me, but the call dropped. The person who left the voicemail eventually called me back, and I thought everything was fine since the doctor’s office even gave me a followup call to say that they’d given the prescription to my pharmacy. Then I called the pharmacy several hours later and was told the doctor’s office hadn’t sent them anything after all.
Oh can I commisserate with this, and it’s even new for me. Starting a good two months ago I began to have a dry cough that sounded like a barking seal. I sort of knew right then I might be dealing with it for awhile. I get diagnosed with a viral infection and pleurisy induced by all the coughing. Doc gives me prednisone, something called tessalon pearls to supposedly stop the cough, and some anti-inflammatory. A week later I’m not wheezing…as much, and then more weeks and I’m still dealing with hack hack, ow ow, motherfucking creeping wheezing death.
Never really been a smoker, but beginning to think 15 years of bar work (and alcohol, blow, damn everything else) means I might as well have been. This could be Walter White revisited, and if so, I’m not teaching chemistry to teenagers. I’m moving in with Jesse and doing ALL the good drugs. (Please, no new season BB spoilers, I’m dying to see 'em and haven’t been able to and I don’t want to know anything at all lalalalalalalalalala.)
And to you UTI sufferers, damn I’m sorry, those are nature’s punishment for enjoying sex, I swear they are!
My cat is almost 13 years old, and she has chosen now to start peeing in places that are not her litter box. I’ve started with the obvious - keeping the litter boxes clean, moving one box upstairs so they have them on both levels, took her to the vet last week - he found out that she has bad teeth, so the next move is to get her teeth fixed up, and see if that’s what’s bugging her - there really hasn’t been any other changes around here that I can think of.
Every time she’s peed, it’s been in something that could have been taken for a litter box if you turned your head sideways and squinted - maybe she’s senile.