Wow, this thread is like a day at work condensed into a neat little package. However, today is my day off, so I must maim the OP with sharp pointy objects :).
I am a local telephone operator (the person you get when you dial “0”). In this day and age, this means that, for the most part, I get to deal with those…uh…fine upstanding individuals… who have never gotten the hang of using the telephone. They may inflict you with their cluelessness every once in a while, but they inflict me with their cluelessness and incoherence hundreds of times a day.
I once drew a little cartoon about “The Caller ID Avenger”…you know, the “Uh…you called me?” guy. I get calls from all sides of this little scenario. At one point, some problem was causing “0” to appear on the Caller ID of certain cell phones, so you can imagine how fun this game gets when the person insists that the operator called…as if we had nothing better to do than to randomly call people (risking our jobs in the process) and hang up. Of course, that’s what telemarketers do, so perhaps it doesn’t seem so ridiculous after all. What a bizarre world we live in.
I love the little old ladies who are calling their single granddaughters and insist that something is wrong because they hear a man’s voice on the answering machine (I start smirking to myself at this point, of course)…which then turns out to be that generic answering machine guy! It’s very difficult, I’ve found, to explain exactly who GAMG is. “He’s a prerecorded voice that comes with the answering machine” doesn’t usually cut it, I’m afraid.
Oh, I also love the little old ladies who want us to “fire that bitch” who tells you that this number is disconnected or whatever. 
(Profanity from elderly women is often quite amusing.) Well, “that bitch’s” name is Jane Barbe, and I’m afraid she’s dead now.
And, oh yes, telephone number rhythm. 1 (pause) 800 (pause) 555 (pause) 12 (micropause) 12. You’d think that everyone in the US would know that rhythm, but no. I’m irked by the people who treat me like a complete moron, and pause until I say “Yes?” after every single digit.
Here’s one I don’t get. Person dials 0 and asks for the telephone number of Joe Blow in Duluth. Operator politely explains that the number for directory assistance is 4-1—“Oh, wait, wait I’ve got to find my pencil!” Ummm…why didn’t you have a pencil ready to write down Joe Blow’s number? Directory Assistance isn’t going to wait for you to get your pencil–they’re going to ship you off to the audio recording that actually reads the number. It’s a good thing you got me instead of DA! (Yes, I do know that DA is usually able to connect the number via that recording, and perhaps that’s what they were planning to do. But, then again, I could connect them to DA if they wanted me to, so I still don’t get it. If I call DA, I have the pencil ready, dammit!) I’m sure that, if you do tend to be irked by automation as so many are, you can blame the “Wait, I need a pencil!” people for that number-reading recording in the first place.
And, yes, as far as the phone company is concerned, the operator is like a receptionist. I can connect you to business office, repair, directory assistance, etc., but I cannot answer questions about your bill, fix your telephone, or give you phone numbers. Sorry. I know that as soon as they perfect a machine that can say, “I’m sorry you’re having trouble” at the opportune moments, I’m out of a job anyway.
