Vacuum cleaners

Shouldn’t it mention it the
" What’s up with vacuum cleaner wounds to the penis? "piece that this is just an urban legend? Yes, I know that it may have happened to someone’s brother, father… but every year to so many men, I don’t think so.

Vacuum cleaner wounds to one’s anatomy does sound like a bit of urban folklore. It stands to reason that an electrically-powered air pump must have some sort of moving parts, and vacuum cleaners certainly sound as if their moving parts consist of metal (oe hard plastic) bits whirling as terriffic speed.

As a person of (I would ho *at least) average intelligence, I would be quite reluctant to put my “special purpose” in very close proximity to anything that could possibly cause it to resemble steak tartare.

I would view any undocumented account of any such wound with a great deal of scepticism.


It’s more important to understand than it is to agree.

You guys suck. (Vacuum humor – it’s just so dirty)

The link is: What’s up with vacuum cleaner wounds to the penis?

Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

So, you think the British Medical Journal was kidding? April 1 edition? I don’t think they do that kind of humor.

You can’t be serious!

No British Medical Journal would erver, ever joke about somehting like this! The Britons have no sense of humor whatsoever (Monty Python was a statistical abberation).


BTW, the link is actually here: . Doesn’t everyone wish we could edit our posts after we “Submit Reply”?

It’s more important to understand than it is to agree.

Ye doubters might be interested in a paper published in the Journal of Urological Anomalies (Vol. XXXVIX, No. 6). The report, written by Dr. Johnson Diggler of Case Western Reserve University, detailed three cases involving injuries to the penis caused by vacuum cleaners. In none of these instances was the “special purpose” left resembling “steak tartare.” Abrasions, yes; contusions, yes; ground chuck, no. In each case, Diggler reports, the damage was done when the vacuum hose (with and without attachments) was employed.

As a footnote, Diggler earned the censure of his colleagues for persisting in this line of research using himself as the subject. At a faculty hearing which preceded his dismissal from the university, Diggler attempted to justify his behavior by declaring:

“To paraphrase another great American and patriot, onanism in the defense of science is no vice.”

I read that it may force an air bubble up the penis.

Also, a guy was on tv this year who put his penis into a public jacuzzi pipe that sucks water from the jacuzzi to a filter. 911 was called and they got it from zeee hole. How embarrassing & on network tv.

“I read that it may force an air bubble up the penis.”

Um…would the penis then have to burp? Is there a medical term for this?

Dr. Diggler publishing in volume XXXVIX, huh? Cute. Is there a real Journal of Urological Anomalies, or is that part of the joke too?

Never attribute to malice anything that can be attributed to stupidity.
– Unknown

A figment of my overheated brain, Cat.

It seems that at last we have found the one act that can universally be considered UNNATURAL. There are various and sundry acts that have been considered unnatural, but usually not by ALL societies, cultures, governments ,or religions. But NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM. Ah, and if only our poor appliance enamored friends had consulted a physicist first. Unfulfilled in there quest for true love, they turned to household conveniences, only to learn that the Perfect Woman is not the only thing that doesn’t exist.

“Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.”-Marx

Apropos of your point, Mr. John . . . it occurs that American political history has taught our vacuum-packed brethren nothing. They forget what it was like when the whole country was Hoovered in the late 20’s.

Hoover high school in North Canton, Ohio, is named for the company headquartered there, and was our rival. The phrase “Hoover sucks!” was such a common mantra at my school that it didn’t dawn on me until my junior or senior year that it was a double entendre.

And now we know what was really up with Archimedes when he started yelling “Eureka!”