Valgard Vs. The Attic

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

After many years of saying “I’m going to replace that crappy light fixture in the TV room” I finally got off my butt and did it. In much the same way as taking a photo atop Mount Everest, the end goal was much simpler than the overall journey.

First thing I noticed was that I’ve had roof rats up there, judging by the copious droppings. Next we have the heaps of cardboard boxes that the previous owners left up there. Someone “installed” (and I use that word lightly) cellulose insulation, evidently by standing 5 yards back from the scuttle and hurling handfuls of the stuff in. And there’s some big hunk of metal crap up there.

Up I go. First thing, remove tons of cardboard boxes and recycle. Oh so green. Next remove the metal object which turns out to be an entire roof-mounted TV antenna, nailed INSIDE the attic.

There’s so much rat crap that the idea of scooping it aside, installing a new light and then raking it all back into place grosses me out, so time to get rid of it all. 24 Hefty bags full of a 50/50 mixture of cellulose/rodent feces later, attic is looking clearer.

Gosh it’s warm up here. Well no wonder, there is no attic vent. That’s another afternoon installing proper ventilation.

Now let’s look at the wiring. Saved the best for last, it’s like a group photo from the Electrical Code Violation picnic.

Old armored cable installed with romex fittings. Romex laid randomly on top of rafters. Hot wires left lying out in the open (with a helpful postit saying “Hot!!!”). Cables stapled by a blind man. Four-way switch setup using three three-way switches (???). Ground wires left totally unconnected to anything. Jumping Jehosaphat! Out comes the tools and the electrical codebook, off Valgard goes to the hardware store.

For any project, the number of trips (N) to the hardware store can be calculated by:

N=P*H+Q

Where P = number of parts required, H=number of hardware stores in the area since no single store will have everything that you need and Q=the number of parts that you didn’t THINK were required but HA HA guess what they are absolutely critical.

Many weekends later, attic is clean - all crap (figurative and literal) removed. Holes where roof rats were getting in have been patched. Five nifty new low-voltage halogen recessed fixtures installed. Crappy old switches removed and new dimmers added. Wiring done to code. Hideous old stuff removed or at least rerouted and rewired so that it’s as close to code as I can make it without gutting the walls. Got to move a couple more wires and then I can roll out the new insulation and pat myself on the back.

So here I sit, feeling rather accomplished. Back is sore from working too many weekends stooped over. Cat is pawing at the keyboard and wanting patting. Soft glow from the ceiling lights is soothing. Life is good.

And I have a happy little image of whoever did the original work up there being taken out, tied to an angry bull, stuffed with old insulation and rat excrement and then whipped to within an inch of their life with dirty armored cable. After that a colony of miniature electrical inspectors takes up residence in their colon and forces them to justify every action they take for the rest of their life.

Ah, my dinner is ready and my kitty is purring.

Mmm.

2

That was a very good story! :slight_smile:

May I comission you to also fix the wiring in my car?

3

I am SO using that equation! Every weekend is spent redoing somebody else’s half-assed work, and it always seems to have included using the tools of Luck, Snot, and Caulk.

Great post. I steal only from the best.

4

I love it. I’ve done that a thousand times (the entire OP), except it’s always for other people and I get paid to do it, but not nearly enough. NOT good times, I HATE attic work. I’m 6’4".
At least you didn’t have to work in an attic that had several inches of crusted bat shit on top of the rat poop and cellulose insulation.
Attic work should only be done in the spring or fall, for obvious reasons.
My favorite attics to work in are the ones where the owners think that the more loosely blown fiberglass insulation you install the better. I come out of those looking like the abominable fiberglass man, sweating, with about two cumulative bats of insulation stuck to and in various parts of my body and lungs.
Be glad you’re done and that you did it right.

5

My hat is off to you. I’m happy to do this stuff for myself, and I don’t mind helping friends out, but no way would I do this for a living! You certainly have a wider delta T in your state then I do :slight_smile: I did find that just replacing the incandescent bulb in my task light with a CFL made a HUGE difference in comfort - attic went from “hotter than hell” to “not uncomfortable”.

So what’s the best way to remove all the old insulation and “stuff”? The cellulose doesn’t itch and wasn’t dusty, so I just put on some gloves and scooped it all into garbage bags by hand. Raised little dust and didn’t make a mess. I thought about running a 4" hose from my woodshop dust collector to the attic but I’d still need to have someone feeding it all into bags and it’d be much more likely to blow particles all over the place. Old fiberglass (someone had thrown all the random cutoff ends of batts up into the attic at random) I just rolled up and shoved into the bags as well.

I assume that at some point it’d make sense to remove the major deposits of loose junk and then encapsulate in place - reinsulate with something like icynene foam and just apply it right over what’s already there to seal it in place. When I insulate this attic space I’m going to use encapsulated fiberglass batts, pretty low-mess. I do still have the rest of the house to do (another 2000 sq feet of attic), this spot was just a warmup…

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My donation to the world of mathematics. Funny you should mention “half-assed”, I’ve been describing the previous work to my friends as maybe one-quarter-assed. Judging by the wiring someone said “Hell with it, I give up” partway through.