OK. I’m not that educated on VDs. I’ve always been very selective with the women that I’ve been with and have always, always used condoms for intercourse. So I really never felt the need to educate myself more than what I learned in high school health class.
So last Thursday, I go to a happy hour after work and meet this great-looking and seemingly classy woman. You know, the kind of woman who really makes you feel special and who you want your friends to see. So, to make a short story shorter, we hook up and do everything (in her car) except intercourse. You see, I wasn’t carrying condoms and didn’t get a chance to run to the store. So I’m thinking that maybe this could turn out to be a relationship until she hands me her number and says: “Call me, next time we’ll f—.” All of a sudden, she didn’t seem so classy. Later, on the phone, she tells me that all she wants out of a guy is sex, and that she’s probably had all kinds of sex with at least 1,000 different guys in her life. Then these words pop up in my head: AIDS, HIV, HERPES, GONORRHEA, HEPATITIS!..
So, to be specific, we both performed oral sex on each other without protection repeatedly and kissed with saliva for about a half an hour. Its now 4 days later.
What are the chances that I picked up something?
How long do I wait before I know that I’m clean?
How long before anything shows up on a medical test?
Is there anything that I should be on the look out for?
Please help and thank you so much in advance for your assistance. I’ve really never had a scare before. This is important because now I’m thinking of starting a serious relationship with another girl and I want to know if I should.
Of course you can pick up a whole bunch of stuff that way. Whether you did or did not you’d have to wait & see. Most stuff shows up by three months, right? Which is usually the amount of time I wait between partners, you know, just to be on the safe side.
We have discussed this sort of thing before & using condoms is NOT protection from a few diseases out there. sigh
Let’s see now. If you didn’t get exposed to blood (she wasn’t a biter with bleeding gums, was she?) then the risk is relatively low.
HIV- nearly negligible. No documented cases of transmission of the HIV via saliva alone. VERY unlikely from a single encounter.
Herpes- possible, if she had oral herpes lesions when she was with you. But unlikely from a single encounter.
Hepatitis- less likely, mostly from blood or excrement. Any rim jobs involved?
Gonorrhea- if she had an active oral infection, it could be transmitted to your mouth or genitals. If you get a sore throat, or a penile discharge, get cultured, and tell them to culture your throat for gonorrhea! This takes a special culture not ordinarily used in the mouth.
Chlamydia- Mostly goes from genitals to genitals. Not much evidence it is passed on any other way
Venereal warts- again, usually genital to genital, but occasionally some do turn up around the mouth from oral-genital contact. Pretty unlikely.
Syphilis- pretty unlikely, but the disease is making a comeback these days. If she had syphilitic chancres that rubbed up against you, you could get it. Unlikely.
My advice? Get tested for HIV in the near future, then either be abstinent for 6 months, or practice safe sex for the same time period, and then get checked for HIV again. If you’re negative both times, settle down into a monogamous relationship with a partner that’s tested out too, and behave!
IMHO, you are likely OK. Factors that might affect the opinion are whether or not you were in an area known for a higher than average incidence of VD. For some reason, Baltimore is said to be pretty high on the Syphilis charts.
Personally, I doubt if you have anything (VD-wise). But I would think it’s likely (without a change in behavior) she either has had something at one time or another, or will have in the near future.
Being “classy” doesn’t preclude someone from carrying a sexually transmitted disease, and being “selective” in your partners doesn’t protect you from them. They’re just viruses and bacteria - not judgement from God. You did the same thing she did so I’d ask what you could have possibly given her, too. Anyway, you were both just being human. If you’re still concerned, you might check with your local public health STD clinic. Some people balk at going to “Public Health,” but - in most towns - these are the most experienced, knowledgable medical folks re. STDs.
“1) HIV- nearly negligible. No documented cases of transmission of the HIV via saliva alone. VERY
unlikely from a single encounter.”
There was one case where it was tranferred with saliva, a 70 year old couple who only kissed. It’s tricky to prove as who does kissing only?
You forgot about HPV (other than warts), QM. I once wrote a message here about HPV #16 & 18.
What concerns me about women who have sex this way is that it means they also probably had unprotected sex with the other guys too. 1000 partners is a lot but I don’t believe it would be that many.
[[What concerns me about women who have sex this way is that it means they also probably had unprotected sex with the other guys too.]]
She had oral sex but did not have intercourse.
The male in this instance did exactly what the female did.
So it’s not just the “women” who should be of concern.
I’m just sayin’.
I worked in an STD clinic and it’s very interesting to see how people who contract STDs see themselves as innocent victims and the people they contracted them FROM are seen as sluts.
Well actually, I don’t fully agree with this. From my perspective, I know how many partners that I’ve had in my life and who they are (and its substantially less than 1,000). I’ve also never had unprotected intercourse, and this girl was willing to (I declined, I do have some will power), which means that she very likely has had unprotected intercourse with near strangers. So if there was any disease transfer that occurred, I’d bet my house that she transferred it to me. But of course if this was to happen again at some point within the next year or so, I wouldn’t be able to make the same statement.
Qadcop speaks the truth. The risk of HIOV transmission is extremely low, but you should probably be tested for all these things to set your mind at ease – not worth thinking about this if you don’t have to. However, an HIV test will not be helpful for another three months since viral loads are too small before then. A doctor is also obliged to tell insurance companies about HIV tests if they inquire; this can be circumvented using public HIV testing labs.
[[However, an HIV test will not be helpful for another three months since viral loads are too small before then. A doctor is also obliged to tell insurance companies about HIV tests if they inquire; this can be circumvented using public HIV testing labs.]]
Just to clarify, you probably mean “HIV antibodies”, not “viral loads,” right, Doctor? Viral loads probably go up before antibodies show up, but the test is usually just for antibodies. An infected person will almost always be antibody positive within three months (and viral load tests are not generally done before then). And yes, many public health clinics do anonymous HIV testing (they don’t take your name at all).
“The male in this instance did exactly what the female did.
So it’s not just the “women” who should be of concern.”
I thought of that & I agree with it too, but forgot to add it after whacking the submit key. That’s why it’s important to stay in touch with the person, that way you can ask them later if they have any nasty bugs.