“Louie, Louie” by the Kingsmen.
Now do the FBI’s version of the lyrics. 
*If you were well-acquainted with Ms. Margaret Susannah Fiennes
You would perceive the cause of my melancholy state of mind
Absent Margaret, Margaret Susannah Fiennes of mine
I apostrophically pledge my amorous allegiance to you, Gentlewoman
I apostrophically pledge my amorous allegiance to you, Ms. Margaret Susannah Fiennes
Ms. Margaret Susannah Fiennes, Ms. Margaret Susannah Fiennes
Innumerable are the ways in which the organ of my veneration for you does pine
Oh, Margaret, Margaret Susannah Fiennes of mine
I apostrophically pledge my amorous allegiance to you, Ms. Fiennes
I apostrophically pledge my amorous allegiance to you,
and my existence would be intolerable without your esteemed person, Ms. Margaret Susannah Fiennes
I apostrophically pledge my amorous allegiance to you, Ms. Fiennes
With an earnest feeling of affection and devotion which is indubitably recherché
I apostrophically pledge my amorous allegiance to you, Gentlewoman
And additionally, I have a strong desire to find myself in your highly-regarded company, Ms. Margaret Susannah Fiennes*
Buddy Holly, “Peggy Sue”
A recap + one more:
[del]A) My cranium has been continuously descended upon by tiny globules of precipitation
However, were you to assume such an event would result in crimson-colored corneas, you would be mistaken – lacrimation does not suit me![/del]
–correctly guessed by Derleth as “Raindrops Are Falling on my Head”
B) As before, I shall depart in a manner which befits my solitary nature
Verily shall I traverse this particular interstate; I am not cognizant of whether or not any others exist
My solitary nature has been persistent and unchanged since birth, akin to John Rambo immediately after the war
After weighing my options, I have decided that failure to act in this manner will create further temporal detritus, and that is a fate I wish to avoid
Therefore, as before, I shall depart in a manner which befits my solitary nature
C) At the precise moment when atmospheric electrical discharges are created, I become clinically depressed
The reason being, these aforementioned electrical discharges possess no shackles, I can perceive that is the truth
In addition, I perceive the truth about myself, specifically the fact that my body’s location is unknown to everyone, permanently undiscovered
With anguish in my voice, I yearn for James Randi’s former profession, fully illuminated and gyrating with rhythmic motions of arms, hips and feet
No warmth exists for me, as nocturnal silhouettes slip from my grasp
Is the sunrise imminent? Not according to my perception
However, the nature of your abandonment is analogous to a heavenly, multicolored arc with zero illumination; a heavenly, multicolored arc with zero illumination
C) is Rainbow in the Dark by Ronnie James Dio.
A dead simple one:
I am a solitary perambulator and should I happen to stroll a pathway lacking illumination, be it a nocturnal voyage or during a trek through a verdant urban area, when light sources initiate a flux I infrequently endure a certain queasiness, a light touch of apprehension at the dearth of luminosity. Scotophobia, scotophobia !
One more before bed:
D) Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Observe these individuals standing in a non-crooked formation
Observe these individuals moving into a dense spiral formation
Children become insane, as they dance in the manner of a Germanic military invasion
Observe these individuals as they cram themselves into the rear half of an automobile’s passenger compartment
Observe these individuals as they thermodynamically discharge boiling water vapor
In sync with the posterior rhythm, they dance in the manner of a Germanic military invasion
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
I entreat you to discharge a weapon into their posterior flesh
I’m not privy to their genuine desires, but clearly, they have achieved maximum RPM’s and are prepared to depart
Observe these individuals standing in a non-crooked formation
Observe these individuals moving into a dense spiral formation
Children become insane, as they dance in the manner of a Germanic military invasion
Observe these individuals as they cram themselves into the rear half of an automobile’s passenger compartment
Observe these individuals as they thermodynamically discharge boiling water vapor
In sync with the posterior rhythm, they dance in the manner of a Germanic military invasion
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Attention! I am 1/3 Santa Claus, allow us to depart!
Hey Ho! Let’s Go! by The Ramones:
Hey Ho, Lets Go
Hey Ho, Lets Go
Hey Ho, Lets Go
Hey Ho, Lets Go
They’re forming in a straight line
They’re goin through a tight wind
The kids are losing their minds
Blitzkreig Bop
They’re piling in the backseat
They’re generation steam heat
Pulsating to the back seat
Blitzkreig Bop
Hey Ho Lets Go
Shoot em’ in the back now
What they want, I don’t know
They’re all reved up and ready to go
Kobal2 and Mean Mr. Mustard are both correct!
I see what you did there…
“Fear of the Dark”, Iron Maiden
I am alert and vigilant upon that organ which sits front and center within my mediastinum
The organs contained within my orbits I ensure are at their maximum aperture consistently
The pass receivers I ensure are not within for the superfluous menswear article that trusses
On account of the fact that the one who is reading these words is virtually owned by the one who is writing them
I move my lower extremities in a coordinated fashion in order to propel myself forward along the long, straight, narrow course.
mmm
Right on both counts. 
“I Walk the Line” (J. Cash and others)
Positioning oneself erectly upon the oermanent landside portion of the shipboarding facility located at a major British port city situated north of the Isle of Wight,
Essaying to transport oneself to one of the core provinces of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, or else the Gallic nation,
The adult male wearing raingarb named for a Scottish inventor advises that one is obliged to return.
Be aware we were not even provided with opportunity.
O Holy Savior, thou art aware of the difficulty,
Thou know’st how difficult it potentially may be
If events continue in the manner that may be extrapolated from past trends,
I shall be subjected to the same fatal punishment as was dealt out to Spartacus, Simon bar Jonah, and other famous Classical figures.
“Convoy”, C.W. McCall
At present my ocular apparatus functions with greater clarity, since the cessation of precipitation. Indeed, it permits me to observe all impediments to my chosen route. The cumulonimbus formations which had caused me severe visual impairment have departed; In point of fact, forecasts call for a diurnal period of maximal luminance and insolation.
Meseems I now have the capacity to carry it out in full, for the anguish too has departed;
All perceptions of negativity have occluded themselves from my sight.
My previous orisons for that spectral meteorological phenomenon caused by minute water droplets suspended in the atmosphere have been answered
As previously noted, forecasts call for a diurnal period of maximal luminance and insolation.
Many harbingers of the Yuletide season may be observed in all locations accessible to you.
Peruse the brilliantly cleansed interior of the F.W. Woolworth ^ Co. local retail outlet, which has on display both peppermint sticks in the shape of a graph plotting political repressivenes against political stabilty, and self-illuminating argent boulevards.
Many harbingers of the Yuletide season may be observed, including the presence in all retail emporia of scaled-down representations of adult apparatus suitable for the training and recreation of the young. However, the most visually gratifying phenomenon will be the hewn-off branch of Ilex which adorns the principal entrance to your domicile.
Both a purple dinosaur and a hyperintelligent rat desire a pair of calf-high footwear of the style favored by Mr. Cassidy and a functional firearm. Both Ms. Ian and Ms. Aniston, on the other hand, are in expectation of anthropomorphic androids which can both carry on meaningful conversation and engage in purposeful perambulation. Parental units, however, are in eager anticipation of the resumption of paedogogical activities.
Many harbingers of the Yuletide season may be observed in all locations accessible to you.
Robust lignaceous botanical specimens which can withstand the impact and weight of frozen precipitation are located both in the most upscale of transient accommodations and the public-sector area set apart as greenspace.
Many harbingers of the Yuletide season may be observed.
In the near future one may hear tintinnabulation,
Which is in fact caused by the festive traditional religious catch which you ululate within your cardiac organ.
“I Can See Clearly Now”, Johnny Nash.
“The Ballad of John and Yoko”, The Beatles.
Bushel and a Peck from Guys and Dolls.
Hentor, yes. And yes.
Drain Bead
Aint’ Nothin’ but Mammals, the Bloodhound Gang
“You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the discover channel”
**Spoons **
Radar Love
“I’ve been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel.”
Dahnlor
Don’t Stop Believing, Journey
“Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world…”
fuzzypickles
Raindrops are falling on my head,
Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day?
Polycarp
One-eyed, one-horned flying purple people-eater.
Polycarp
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…
Correct!
And Irishman, your “Radar Love” answer is correct too!
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go…”