RE: That stupid fucking commericial for Verizon’s “Family Share” (or whatever) plan.
Jeezus. On the rare occasions that I sit down to do some serious TV watching, I tend to purposefully cause my eyes to glaze over during commercials, so it’s taken me awhile to catch on to this one.
Man are those people stupid.
“Mom, should we get crimson or candy apple red?” What’s the difference, dumkopf? Does it really fucking matter? Do you call your mother after you take a leak to ask whether you need to shake your dick three time or four?
“Honey, do we need an extra hand?” To do what? Tie your shoes? To stick a finger in your nose when you’ve got one thumb in your mouth and the other up your ass?
I mean, the questions by themselves don’t seem that stupid until we see the purpose of Operation: Hardware Store, the thing that required these intense conferences with mother.
A hand-painted sign for some poor slob named John (#80!!!) who probably wishes he was adopted. I could probably make a better sign if I slit my wrist and randomly dripped blood on to a piece of cardboard.
Uggggghhhh… I feel sick just thinking about it… somebody make it stop, please?
I’m with black on this one. I saw that commercial last night and was so mad I nearly threw my wife at the teevee. “A phone for everyone in the house, for only $39.99.” Jeeezus, that’s all we need. More fucking morons making conference calls at Blockbuster.
Check it out the dude who wants to know if “we need an extra hand?” the next time it’s on (hell, you only have to be watching tv for 5 minutes before it comes on again)…
Observe how in typical Cell-phone Asswiper fashion he turns his back on the salesperson who’s trying to help him and moves away so he can yack on the phone.
I guess he needs “an extra hand” because he doesn’t have any of his own–one has the phone permanently slapped up against his head and his other is currently jamming his thumb up his ass.
