If a woman dies a martyr, does she get 72 male virgins servicing her? And what type of reward is that anyway – 72 boys groping and pawing her, trying to figure out what to do and what goes where? I guess that’s way there are so few female martyrs.
Are you refering to the Muslim heaven, or some disturbing fantasy?
Nonono… 72 Antonio Banderas look alikes, all submissivly awaiting your merest whim…
would that get you up for a bit 'o holy war…?
I wouldn’t mind 72 Haley Joel Osments. I’d be more than happy to show them what goes where!
Oops. I thought this was a Miss Cleo thread. Back to your regularly scheduled program
I don’t remember my state of mind at the time I posed this, but if I said disturbing fantasy, the 72 male virgins would be the least disturbing thing about it.
Howyadoin,
Am I getting whooshed, or is that a pedo reference?
-Rav
Sterling_North, does our female martyr get a mix of 72 male virgins? Or does she have to settle for 72 clones of the same man? Seriously, I think that muslim women have to settle for continuing their activities in heaven as they did on earth–their reward is merely continuing to serve their menfolk.
Uh, yeah, what The_Raven said. Huh?
I think Muslim female martyrs get 72 non-gay, totally ripped, Chippendale dancers.
Can’t you just picture it…
Li li li li! Y…M…C…A Li! li! li…!
So if 72 (or however many) lucious, lubricious young things, male or female, plop down as afterlife sex toys to service one person, wouldn’t they have had to live exemplary lives themselves just to get admitted?
But wait…what if they were real stinkers and their punishment was to service an old goat of either gender? Talk about equal parts boredom and degradation. C’mon, no self-respecting afterlife tosses souls around just for window dressing.
::shudders::
Sheesh. It’s enough to make oblivion positively attractive.
Veb
Depends on the woman - if she’s martyred on the taught side of 40, maybe she would fooloishly blow into heaven like Judy Garland with 72 uselessly buff chorus boys on her arm.
But I once worked with an old guy in his 80’s who got endless action just by showing up at widows’ houses with a Sears Craftsman toolbox. (and there I was sweating payments for the same purpose to less effect on used car!) After a certain age, a woman still has the same physical needs, but it’s hard to open the throttle on them while the place is going to pieces all around.
A fool’s paradise is a big party with dry-ice couds. A smart man or woman’s paradise is a place of secure property values.
Actually, Veb, I don’t they’re actually human at all, in the sense of having lived as a human on earth, then dying and going to paradise. They’re “provided” by Allah as a reward for the warrior faithful. At least that’s my understanding.