Very wierd thing happened to me

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I had a very strange thing happen to me yesterday, but first you need a little bit of background for this story.

I went to a magic convention here in Michigan (Abbott’s Magic get-Together). During this convention, the local bar (Curly’s) holds a Close-Up Magic contest. There were 6 of us that performed that evening, the last person was this guy from my magic club (We will call him Sam for this story). Keep in mind that this is the absolutely worst atmosphere for performing you could find. It was loud, people everywhere, and you couldn’t see or hear the performers very well. Sam was doing his routine and I sat through roughly 2/3 of it and then left because some of the friends I was with were leaving. Keep in mind that I only know Sam from our Magic club and rarely ever see him perform outside of this club.

That was about 2 weeks ago.

…and now the story.

We had our monthly magic club meeting and Sam was there. We went through the usual routine of holding the business meeting first, then performing magic after. After everyone was done performing their magic for the evening, Sam pipes up and says the following:

“I just wanted to say that I had a good time at Curly’s at the convention. Everyone was great except for one person.”

Then he looks right at me and says, “Joe, I think what you did was unprofessional and if I ever see you anyplace and you try to talk to me or anything, I’m going to turn around and walk away!”

Then he picked up his stuff and left.

Now, disregard the fact that he did this DURING the meeting infront of EVERYBODY there (I know it was inappropriate to do so, and everyone else at the meeting thought so too). I’m shocked by this. I was totally NOT expecting this and it totally blew me out of the water. I don’t know what it was that I did to offend Sam, but I wish he had brought it up while I was still at this convention.

My question is this: What do I do about this? How do I resolve this situation without coming across as a jerk. I plan on doing some restaurant magic this fall and this is a guy that could potentially affect my business prospects. I don’t plan on dragging this situation out at any future magic club meetings. I was thinking of writing Sam a letter that basically would be an apology and a statement saying I was not aware that I did anything to offend him, but I don’t know if that would make the situation worse or not.

This is really getting to me and I would appreciate all your input.

Thanks.

2

Oh, just so you know… I don’t recall doing anything at this contest, other than sitting through and observing about 2/3 of his performance, chatting with my friends during that time, and then leaving.

3

Perhaps it was the chatting with your friends during the performance or leaving before the end that torqued him off.

Either way, try to make some ammends so he doesn’t make you miserable. Start by giving him a call. It’s a lot harder to do then just dropping him a letter or e-mail, but in my experience it’s the fastest and easiest way to get things settled. Explain that you feel terrible about the meeting and would like to make ammends for whatever you unintentionally did. Do something, or it will eat at both of you. It is likely a big misunderstanding.

Zette

4

Maybe he’s upset you left? I dunno. Sounds like he needs to relax a little. Or explain things. I would not be offended until he explained himself. Even then, it might be something that only he feels is offensive.

Make him explain.

5

He probably thought it rude you left early. His problem, he’s obviously got some issues, and takes offense easily if that’s truly the case.
You might want to approach him at the next meeting if possible and let him know you would like to speak, and that you are a little disturbed by his comments, that you don’t understand what he meant, and that you wouldn’t have done anything with bad intent usually. Ask that he explain it to you, and apologize for anything you may have done to insult him in any way. That seems the most mature and appropriate course of action IMO. He was wrong to denounce you in front of everyone. But you might want to let that go.

6

I do plan on letting the incident at the meeting go. I don’t think it was me leaving early that offended him. LOTS of people were getting up and leaving. Lots of people were coming in as well. I could be wrong, though.

soulsing, I think you have the right idea and I’ll probably do that in my letter I’m going to send to him. I would prefer not to resolve this at the magic club mainly because this sort of thing has happened in the past with the result of basically dividing the club and loosing members.

Then, BEFORE the next meeting, I might ask him if he got the letter and see how things go.

7

Sounds good. Good luck.

8

You guys are the greatest!

9

hey, where in Michigan?? (I"m in Lansing)

anyhow, on the OP
It’s obvious this guy is really ticked. Seriously. mega. and I think that if you go in with anything less than a full blown apology, you’re not likely to get past the first “Hey, I don’t know what I did” SLAM…

So, my recomendation would be to start of with a written (the phone thing I think it’d be too easy for the guy to slam the phone down): “I’m sorry. I have obviously offended you deeply, and for that, I truly apologize” Note that in this scene you’re not necessarily saying you did anything of noteable wrongness, you’re acknowledging his reaction and saying that it was not your intention to harm him (I take that as a given). Go on with something like “I would like an opportunity to bridge the water” or something like that. I think saying “hell, I don’t even KNOW what I did wrong” wouldn’t hit the right note.

when folks communicate with each other, often wrong messages get through. I don’t think YOU did anything wrong, but by the same token, we’re only hearing your end of it. This guy is obviously mega pissed off, and generally folks don’t get that way unless they’ve percieved a great wrong done to them. and especially since the magician’s world is such a close-knit group, it’s in your best interest to at least have a cordial relationship with the person. best of luck to ya…

10

wring,

We meet in Kalamazoo, the convention was in Colon.

Also, thanks for your comments. They are very helpful.

11

Yeah, that story had “weird” written all over it.

12

me thinks ‘sam’ has some issues…

how’s this:

“Sam, I wish to apologize for offending you, but my pager went off and I had to go as I was needed to be the lamaze coach for a very dear friend that went into labour …so sorry we couldn’t postpone the birth to finish watching your show”

I know, I knnow, too snarky, but man, he ticked me off…excuse the rest of the world for maybe having someplace to go…

how the hell does he know that you didn’t, in fact, get an emergency call?..or maybe a pet was in trouble…or maybe you had an instantaneous chance to get laid…right then…oh, the possibilities are endless…

13

Well, I think it was you leaving that offended him. You say in your OP that, “There were 6 of us that performed that evening…” which implies that you performed earlier, correct? I’ve always understood that in situations where multiple people are performing or speaking, it’s a professional courtesy for you to stay and watch the rest of the performers. He watched your act, shouldn’t you watch his? So, assuming my original assumption is correct, you done him wrong.

That being said, I’m thinking Sam does indeed have some issues. Your neglect of a professional courtesy doesn’t excuse his overkill reaction at all. It’s not that big of a deal, and you could have had a good reason. So I suppose I’d apologize to him, but I’d not expect much in return from someone who’s willing to castigate you in public over such a minor matter. Sounds like a person to avoid in the future.

14

Well, I’ve written my letter and sent it out to this guy. I basically told him I’m sorry I offended him, I didn’t know I offended him, and that I want to resolve this situation.

We will see how it goes.

15

Keep us posted. You’ve got our attention and if you misdirect it now, we’ll all show up on your doorstep and do very inept impressions of Penn and Teller.

~~Baloo

16

I would have to say that is was most likely you leaving that ticked him off. Whenever I have performed with others (I had benefit with some other magicians a little while back) we all watched each others’ acts out of common courtesy. Not that I think what you did was necessarily wrong, it really depends on your particular group. Some groups are more sticky about this than others.
Though I do think that bringing it up at the meeting was way out of line. It sounds like he overdramatized it to embarrass you. What he said and did could possibly be because of two reasons:

  1. He admires and respects you as a performer and felt hurt that you didn’t stay for his whole act, or
  2. He is very arrogant and dislikes you and thus wanted to embarrass you in this way.
    From the sounds of it, it’s probably the first. He might have even asked for your advice if you had stayed. Again, I’m not meaning this to sound like I’m judging what you did, it’s just what it could have been.
17

Why don’t you use your magic powers against him? Turn him into a frog or a gerbil or something?!? That will teach him to mess with the master.