Story here. Remember: When hamsters are outlawed, only outlaws will carry hamsters.
You might not believe it, but hamsters are not high on the list of gifts that American men get for their SOs.
This is not about what I thought it was going to be about.
Though I must admit, that may well be the first time in history I have ever seen the phrase, “street price of hamsters.”
“Hey man.”
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Whaddya need?”
“Hey. Yeah … uh. You, uh … got any Syrians?”
“Yeah, man. Ten bucks a pop.”
“Gimmie three. And a Robovorskii.”
“No Robos. Tibetan.”
“Naw man, I need a Robo bad. Come on man, ya gotta have something.”
::looks furtively around::
“Alright. Look, I was saving this one. Fitty.”
“FIFTY?? That’s bullshit, man!”
“Take it or leave it.”
“Fine. Here.”
“Enjoy.”
::runs off::
Remember, too: Hamsters don’t kill people. People using hamsters kill people.
Make you wonder what a “hampster bong” looks like, don’t it?
Perhaps you were thinking of gerbils?
Those were only for the hoity-toity affluent folk. Street kids had to make do…
If the street price of hamsters continues to drop, maybe we can get some more for the SDMB. It’s been running better lately, but a little extra never hurts.
*Q. Listen, buddy, I need 14 goldens, 2 striped dwarves, and a Djhungarian.
A. I certainly hope you’re talking about hamsters*.
That’s all well and good until a three year old opens up her dad’s drawer and finds a live hamster inside.
I’d ask him if he was going to use them all at once. As a dealer you can’t have your customers kicking the bucket.
Well, they seem to be just fine with selected web servers …
Whut?
If it’s year of the Rat, why not give rats? They’re better pets anyhow.
Doesn’t Oprah have a charity to provide gerbils to Asian street kids?
That’s why a hamster safe is a must for any responsible hamster owner.
Funny story. The drive was a success actually, so she went and bought a hundred thousand of the suckers, had them taken up in a cargo plane and released from 10,000 feet over Lam Dong province. It was said that the collective squeaks of 100,000 gerbils in freefall so entranced the hoi polloi that they just stood there, eyes to heaven, and watched in wonder even as they were pelted with little furry balls of teeth and claws. For their part, the gerbils were so terrified by the whole experience that those who survived by landing on a particularly plump citizen latched on so firmly that they had to be removed surgically. It took weeks to clean up the bodies (both of gerbil and human) and even longer to re-thatch the roofs.
As for Oprah, she watched the whole thing go down remotely from her limousine as she cruised through Van Nuys. She was said to be quite horrified as she watched the little furballs fall, and wondered why in the world none of them deployed their chutes.
I’m proud to be the first person to point out this little gem:
As God is my witness, I thought hamsters could skydive.
I have always heard hamsters are a gateway rodent. First a hamster-next thing you know you got Capybaras
They’re really lousy gateway rodents. People just run right over 'em.
The Commie bastards are always spoiling people’s fun. But you gotta love a country whose unit of currency is the dong.