After spending the weekend looking at current wedding dress styles, I’m convinced that I want a vintage '40s-'50s wedding gown. Any suggestions, ideas?
I’ve found websites that sell them, but how do I know what will look good on me without trying them on?? Does anyone know of any bricks & morter stores that sell vintage gowns? Is there an appropriate way to approach someone to ask if you could borrow their gown? What if the situation is that the wife died recently and the husband is deep in mourning? (I wore her gown in a vintage fashion show years ago and it is PERFECT! But I don’t want to offend/upset her husband.)
Also, what about the groom? Will a modern tux look out of place? Where would we find '40s-'50s style tuxes?
I’ve seen a few vintage gowns in various consignment stores/thrift shops. Even if you don’t want to buy them there, you can probably try them on and see how they suit you.
As for the asking to borrow the gown thing, I think I’d have to recommend not going that route. The last thing the man probably wants to do is haul out his recently dead wife’s gown and bring back what are probably already some pretty heartbreaking memories.
Without seeing all the options in those vintage years, my mind immediately pictures a tall, thin woman in a very fitted dress. Is that what you’re thinking?
I agree that your best bet will be a vintage store. There are tons of websites for these stores, and I think California probably has lots that would carry dresses you’d be interested in.
D’oh! I thought tech valley represented Silicon Valley. My bad. But there may be other good vintage shops in your area.
Also, if you can’t find the real thing, you may be able to have one made. I know a number of women who had their dresses made by local seamstresses and they saved a bundle. Find a picture of one you like and see if a local can copy it for you.
You could check out the return policy on the online stores you’re looking at. See how long you have to return stuff, if they allow returns, how much it would cost, etc.
Then get some and try them on. The one you like, keep it. Send the rest back.
Then of course, have it fitted professionally by a seamstress.
I’m thinking he might be comforted if you were to ask to borrow it and invite him to the wedding (though don’t expect him to attend). I’m assuming this is a close family friend who will understand that you want to honor his wife.
I doubt this has anything to do with honouring his wife. From the OP:
It seems to have more to do with the right look and fit.
As to the OP, congratulations on the upcoming nuptials. A long, happy life together to the two of you.
I’d advice you not to bother a man in mourning, though. For some people, a wedding gown would be something to be passed on and a joy to be shared. For others, it is a special artefact to be held close to the heart, even more so in a time of grief. It’s not worth bringing him agony in the event that he falls into category two. Go vintage shopping, find your own gown, start your own tradition.
By the by, please educate a non-American, non-Christian git. What’s a vintage gown?
Vintage clothing is, in general, old clothing that looks noticeably different from clothing made nowadays. So a vintage gown would be a gown that was made in the '40s or '50s and didn’t look much like gowns that are being made today.
I will beg the OP, on behalf of her bridesmaids, not to make them get vintage gowns. They can be very hard to find for larger-sized women (people have gotten bigger on average since then).
And don’t make your groom or groomsmen wear vintage tuxes if they’re not comfortable with that (or if they would have size issues with finding one). It’s better to have the tux not match the dress than to have the men in the wedding be dressed in something they’re not comfortable with.
I wouldn’t ask your friend about his wife’s wedding gown.
You could also have someone make you a vintage style gown, if you can’t find the right one-many seamstresses would be happy to and there are patterns for old-fashioned styles.
My suggestion is to visit a seamstress and describe the style you are after, and get the seamstress to make you up a dress in a cheap fabric such as calico. That way you can ensure you like the style before you commit yourself to more expensive fabric.
Simplicity actually has an absolutely beautiful pattern for a 1940s wedding dress. Bias-cut satin . . . drool. It’s Simplicity 4566. There are photos of it in both the costuming and bridal sections of their catalogue. Picture here. The Greater Bay Area Costumer’s Guild also has many reviews of vintage/historical patterns. (There are patterns from many different periods here, so it might take a while to go through them all.)
If you choose one of the other major patternmakers, go with Vogue over its sister companies. I’ve never seen a Butterick or McCalls pattern that came out looking as professional as Simplicity or Vogue, even in the catalogue pics.
For online stores, I know Antique Dress is reputable and always has high quality items. It’s a little pricey, but still less than most new wedding gowns. Every dress’ measurements are given, along with a modern dress size. I go there and ooh and ahh over things all the time. Heck, you could even go whole hog and buy vintage lingerie.
I found this and this at Antique Dress. The first is $395 and the second $435. Unfortunately, the first one measures (bust/waist) 35"/25", but can accomodate a larger size with alterations to the back closure. The second measures 34/24, and doesn’t look like it can be altered.
So, there’s the other obstacle to buying vintage: Unless you’re tiny, it can be impossible to find a dress.
Since you’ll gotten lots of nice suggestions on the dress, I’ll address your groom’s attire. Is the wedding going to be in the late spring or summer? Because a white dinner jacket, worn with black pants and bowtie is very appropriate for the period. Linkie Keep in mind, though, that like white shoes, a white dinner jacket should only be worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Otherwise, he should be fine in a plain black tux – they haven’t really changed all that much since the '40s so long as you go with a classic style.
Yeah, that’s why I put the “huh? Where?” part in my location. Tech Valley tends to be unknown outside the immediate area.
We’re not having any bridesmaids/groomsmen, Anne Neville. So no worries about them being forced to wear any ugly bridesmaids dresses from any period. The wedding’s going to be really small (<20 people), and at this point I think we’re just going to have everyone standing with us or involved in some way without specifically labeling anyone Maid of Honor or Best Man.
I forgot to reply to this in my last post… we’re looking at a winter wedding, either December or January so white’s out. Mom suggested checking out some old Cary Grant movies and seeing what he wore. I really like the idea of **KeithT **dressed like Cary Grant!
I’m having a hard time finding a good example of the kind of dress I’m looking for. This isn’t bad. Definitely something simple, satin, a minimum of lace, floor length, full-length sleeves, buttons down the back are good. This isn’t bad but a little too much lace. I like this too.
And I really wouldn’t go and ask the poor husband of the woman who just died for her wedding gown. I do have a little more tact than that. It’s just hard having an image in mind of a dress that’s exactly what I want and that fits (or did a few years ago - might need a little alteration now) and knowing that I can’t have it. But please don’t get the impression that I’m a greedy and selfish person who would do anything to upset him while he’s mourning his wife.
