People that drive anything with a Volkswagen brand are utterly delusional. They think that because their piece of crap was designed in Germany by a bunch of lazy asses that are on vacation half of the year that they have some God given right to drive like they are on the Autobahn and are racing Porches’. They watched some stupid “Frufenhoggen” commercial from 20 years ago and think they are Schumacher (who caused a wreck last week because he’s delusional). What a bunch of idiots. To buy and drive a Volkswagen is just stupid, stupid, stupid. You look stupid. You drive a stupid car and you are a loser. BTW, German cars are overpriced, unreliable shit. SHIT! Mercedes and BMW’s are just overpriced Volkswagens for people that are even more insecure. Notice how owners of Mercedes and BMW’s will tell you what a great guy the Service Manager is. I don’t want to know or have anything to do with the Service Manager.
Minivan drivers are almost as bad. Either they speed or they drive 20 mph below the speed limit. They never flow with the traffic. They will pull out in front of you and poke along, then pass you and cut you off. What is it with these idiots? Today I was on a parkway and two of these shitheads pulled out in front of me, almost causing an accident. Another one comes by me and almost runs me off of the road because they don’t know what a rear view mirror is for.
God, please get rid of these people before they kill me. All of these fuckheads have made me a firm believer in defensive driving.
Don’t you mean, heh, the Porsches’ [sic] you complimented are just overpriced Volkswagens, Herr BulgingVein? Those are the two companies Ferdinand started. And then there’s…
Well, he is!!! Porsche’s SM too. You’re in for routine maintenance that’s covered by the warranty and they give you a darn near brand new screamin’ fast loaner in the hope you’ll fall so in love with it you’ll buy another. Service Managers forcin’ all that gorgeous, performant new technology on you free of charge. Ze bastards. How dare ze steal my [del]wallet[/del] heart with cars that make mein ass pucker.
If minivans are passing you though, I’m not sure we’ll have many notes to compare.
Actually I think that Sunfire drivers are by far the worst.
They go out and buy a $13,000 ‘sports car’ <snerk> and then drive like obnoxious, agressive assholes. I get an inappropriate bizarre misplaced pleasure from leaving them in the dust in my family sedan. Losers - buy a god damn Civic already.
I hasten to add that the most peculiar example of “distracted driving” I have ever observed on a highway, and at about 70mph, was a man driving a mini van. Eating a salad. In one of those floppy take-out plastic containers. Perched on his steering wheel.
This is the kind of thing that makes me glad I got a GTI … chiefly to get around whiny “defensive driving” types like you with no drama and no hassle, all while using my signals just to be courteous as I’m ticking you off.
I got a modified Florida room with a big block hemi, Paxton blower, Lenco trans-the whole works. It leaves the rest of the block (and the house) behind, man.
I hear the little old lady from Pasadena has a tricked out garage, though.
You guys got it all wrong. It’s Volvo drivers who suck. There are two kinds. The first is the one who is a shitty driver and got into a horrible accident. They’re driving a Volvo because they are safer. Well, they are still shitty drivers. The other ones are the self-important ones who think they are better because they drive a Volvo. They cut you off in parking lots, pull out in front of you and are generally the least considerate drivers on the road, because apparently they think they won’t die in an accident.
Don’t know about the ranter, but we will always buy VWs after seeing how mine reacted and kept mrAru safe in a 70 mph rollover. The car took the damage, and his main injury [other than the black eyes from the airbag, and the bruise on his chest from the seatbelt] was a cut on one arm.
I find it’s Corvette drivers that are of the all or none variety. Either it’s some retired Grandpa going 45 on the interstate, or some idiot pretending he’s racing everyone else, cutting in and out of traffic, etc.
Hybrids are the most insidious marketing of underpowered vehicles in the history of automaking. Seriously, those guys are laughing their asses off. The light turns green, and 5 seconds later, goody two-shoes is still sitting there waiting for the weed whacker motor to kick in. Pfft.
I’m all for more fuel-efficient vehicles and electric vehicles and even not using vehicles where possible, but we’re in that awkward stage of the technology right now, and it’s annoying.
For me it’s the Subaru Outback drivers, especially if there’s a bicycle attached. If someone’s in front of me going slower than the speed limit for no apparent reason whatsoever, chances are they’re driving an Outback.
Gotta say, OP was a very nice rant. I applaud the effort.
Of course the people who need killin’ are those driving Aztecs, just in case their particular brain disease, like mad cow disease, will be found to be transmittable to humans.
How could anyone buy this? i mean look at them , they are the 21’s century AMC gremlins!
BMW drivers have got to be the worst. Always tootling around in those boxy sedans with that front emblem that looks like a Hitler mustache.
And don’t get me started on Saab drivers and their sense of entitlement. I went to the Saab dealer once and nobody came over to help me. I guess you have to look like you can afford a Saab, or up yours. Damn snobs.
You know what drivers are the worst? The ones with a gray 2003 Toyota Corolla who usually offer to drive when we go out but one of us always insists on driving instead because he is such a sucky driver that we are afraid for our lives.
You’re in for routine maintenance that’s covered by the warranty and they give you a darn near brand new screamin’ fast loaner in the hope you’ll fall so in love with it you’ll buy another. Service Managers forcin’ all that gorgeous, performant new technology on you free of charge. Ze bastards. How dare ze steal my [del]wallet[/del] heart with cars that make mein ass pucker.
