Oh, Cecil. Shame on you, you virtual sexist, you. I had to go look up the Vagina Doll (sorry to doubt the Master, but my “Oh, come on!” Alarm went off), and lo and behold, they also sell a “Louisiana Penis Doll”. Oh thou white male oppressor! Whatsa matta, Cece, you scared of somethin’?
Calling Esprix! Calling Esprix!
Oh, and Anthracite? You’ll be pleased to note that the Vagina Doll can help YOU, too.
I was disappointed to find that the “Gator Guide Doll” doesn’t have anything to do with huntin’ gators down the bayou–it’s a “dream guide,” whatever that is. Oh, well.
Now now, lets not get excited about any of these dolls. I haven’t checked the sites, but unless it explicitly says they use real chicken blood, or you should supply your own real chicken blood to the doll, everybody knows its just crap!
If anybody needs me, I’ll be down at that piece of bottomland with the stream running through it at sundown, waving a horse blanket over the cornfield three times.
Not to completely hijack this thread, but on a note that has nothing to do with sticking pins in a voodoo doll’s jimmy, this most recent column is a real return to form. I know that for a while many of us were a little worried that Cecil had lost the caustic edge that we all love so much, but this column undeniably has that and some on the receipt. So, in short, wahoo.
It was a great column, but I wish he’d taken it further and went into detail about the manufacture of one of 'em. (I’ve got some people who I’d like to…but enough about me :D)
His column was funny, informative, and well researched, but he didn’t answer the original question of “HOW do I make a Voodoo doll” (as opposed to “how does one work?” or “Where do I buy one?”) I’d have liked to have seen a hard-hitting expose like he did with the love-spell column.
OOOooooOOooohh! I just figured it out! He doesn’t want to give away his trade secrets! That’s how he’s gotten the Straight Dope on everything all these years! Hard work, diligent research, being the smartest man alive…all those thing, yes, but the final touch is VOODOO!
If I’m right then that means…
I had to go look up the Vagina Doll (sorry to doubt the Master, but my “Oh, come on!” Alarm went off), and lo and behold, they also sell a “Louisiana Penis Doll”. Oh thou white male oppressor! Whatsa matta, Cece, you scared of somethin’? 
